Hetalia Kids
by Phoenixette101
Summary: Some of my favorite pairings and their future kids. I wish. Might be a cliched story. But, please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note

Me: Hello readers and hopeful reviewers! This is my first fanfic that I've ever actually posted! YAY! So it'll either suck or be mediocre ^^'

Onilee: It'll probably suck. :P

Me: Shut up! :O Oh, that would be Onilee, she's my mini-angel sidekick...I guess. Disregard anything she says.

Onilee: I'm being held prisoner! Send help!

Me: See? She's crazy.=_= Quick summary: Basically some of my favorite pairings and they're future kids! ^^ Pairings include: GerIta, Ameripan, FrUK, and AusHun. There will be hinted PoLiet as well!

Onilee: Like totally!

Me: =_= Please Review! There's always room for improvement, but be gentle, this IS the first fanfic I've ever posted.

Onilee: TEAR IT TO SHREADS!

Me: Shut up already, Onilee! Review and I'll give you cookies! BIG ONES!

Onilee: Please enjoy the crap you are about to read!

Me: THAT'S IT! *Tackles Onilee* I'll teach you to F*** with my Author's Note!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia! So don't sue me! This is purely fanmade, and I do hope the readers watch and support Hetalia because it kicks serious ass!

Rating: Rated T for language and suggestive themes. (You have been warned 8/)

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids<p>

The Twins

"Almost there. Push!" The doctor yelled to a rather distraught Hungary. She had every reason to be so. She was going to be a mother in a matter of moments. Austria was certainly well aware of this fact, because he was pacing back and forth, nearly yelling, "Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!"

"You're not helping, Roderich!" Hungary shouted, trying to ignore the splitting pain that racked her body.

She remembered when she found out she was pregnant. She remembered the look of complete shock on Austria's face when she told him. She even remembered when she found out she wasn't just having ONE baby.

She pushed with all her might, and heard the small cry of her new baby girl. Hungary sat up to get a better look at her. She smiled weakly as the baby was quickly swaddled and given to a still panicked Austria to hold. Hungary leaned back into her pillow, knowing she was going to be in labor for a while. She was having twins.

Much to Hungary's dismay, Austria was still freaking out. "Roderich, calm the hell down! You wanna drop her?"

"How can I calm down vhen your still in labor?" Austria screamed, sounding more like a girl than usual.

"I'm the one who should be freaking out! You're NOT the one having twins here!"

Just then Austria's hand slipped, nearly dropping his daughter smack on the ground. He caught her just in time, but that didn't stop Hungary from pulling out her frying pan and nearly smacking him square on the head. She came inches away from his cranium before she realized it was a bad idea to hit him while he was holding the baby. "You're damn lucky that you're holding her and the fact that I'm still in labor!"

Austria nodded, agreeing completely, as Hungary put the frying pan away and attempted not to swear, because she was feeling like she was being stabbed multiple times.

Minutes ticked by like hours as the pain in Hungary's abdomen seemed to rip her apart. Austria was sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed, trying to soothe both the baby girl and his wife, as well as trying to scream with Hungary. Finally the doctor uttered the fateful word. "Push!"

Hungary pushed again with all her might and this time heard a stronger, deeper cry. She opened her eyes to see a little boy, not much bigger than his sister. Hungary sighed heavily as the pain slowly dulled. She smiled brightly at her new son, trying to ignore the tears silently slipping down her cheeks.

He was wrapped up snugly, like his sister, and given to Hungary. Austria, now calmed down, joined them with the little girl cradled in his arms. This was the first time Hungary got a good look at her children. The girl had her father's dark brown hair and vivid violet eyes. The boy had her light brown hair and emerald green eyes. Each was the perfect mix of both of them.

"Vhat should ve name them?" Austria said, beaming with pride.

"I like...Rebeka," Hungary said gazing at her daughter.

"It's beautiful." Austria replied. "I like Zoltan," he continued, holding his son's tiny hand in his thumb and forefinger.

"Perfect. Rebeka and Zoltan. It fits them." Hungary beamed as she stroked their hair.

The twins smiled up at their new parents, neither crying nor whimpering, just

smiling. Austria and Hungary couldn't help but grin back.

Rebeka then turned her head to get a good look at her brother. Suddenly and unexpectedly, Zoltan gave a little cry as Rebeka scratched him. He quickly retaliated by scratching her back. Rebeka glared at her brother and he glared back.

"...Fighting already?" Hungary sighed. "Sibling rivalry I guess."

"Oh, this may be more difficult than I thought..." Austria groaned.

"Did you think it would be easy?" Hungary asked, jokingly. "They are twins after all."

"I-I never thought it vould be EASY!" Austria retorted, "but if they're fighting THIS early, this may end up being a bad thing."

"I guess your right." Hungary chortled. "But, I'm sure it'll be worth it."

Hungary looked down at the twins, who had gone back to softly smiling up at her and Austria. 'I know I'm right.' she thought. 'It'll be worth it.'

The First Son

"VE~! Today's the day!" Italy beamed as he woke up earlier than usual, Germany still sleeping in bed beside him.

Italy hopped out of bed and began getting dressed. Unable to hold back his joyful "VE"s, he soon awoke Germany.

"Italy?" Germany asked, rubbing his eyes and brushing his blonde bangs away. "Vhy on earth are you up so early?"

"Today's the day Germany!" Italy kept smiling. "We're going to be parents! Remember?"

Germany's eyes widened, and his mouth broke into a smile. "I should've guessed."

Germany remembered when they first made the decision to have a child; it wasn't an easy choice. They finally settled on having a surrogate mother, and decided to use Germany's DNA. Finally, the nine months had passed and today was the day.

Italy, of course, was one step away from bouncing off the walls. He'd always dreamed of being a parent, settling down, starting a family. Of course originally he had thought he'd be with a cute girl, but doing it with Germany was much, MUCH better.

Germany got out of bed and went to take a quick shower. Italy, now dressed, made his way into the kitchen to make breakfast, humming a jovial tune all the way.

When Germany came down, with his hair slicked back in its usual manner, they both sat down and ate breakfast together.

"It's going to be a boy." Italy said, breaking the silence that hovered over the table. "We should think of a name."

Germany scratched his head and began going through every name he could possibly think of. "Vell, how about Viktor?"

Italy paused thoughtfully and then his face lit up. "It's perfect! It sounds tough and manly!"

Germany chuckled at his gleeful counterpart and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Italy giggled like a young school girl and kissed him back.

Soon after breakfast they both hopped in the car and drove to where they were to pick up their son. The whole way Italy repeated "Viktor...Viktor...Viktor" over and over, as if to memorize it.

When they were finally there, Italy leapt out of the car and let out an elated "VE~!" as he saw the clinic.

Germany got out after him and they both made their way inside. At the front desk the nurse asked in a dull, monotonous tone, "Name?"

"Feliciano Vargas," Italy said, a dumb grin plastered on his face. "And this is my husband Ludwig."

"Ah, yes," the nurse muttered in her same tone. "You're here to pick up your son." She turned to the nurse behind her. "Joyce, show them to the nursery."

Joyce smiled politely and led them to a window of a room. Inside were at least a dozen babies all wrapped in pink and blue blankets.

"Aww, they're all so cute!" Italy grinned. "But which one's ours?"

Joyce looked down at her clipboard. "First row, third to your right." She pointed to a small baby, wrapped in a blue blanket, sleeping peacefully.

"VE~!" Italy cried, "That's our little bambino!" Italy pressed is faced against the window glass and smiled quite possibly the biggest, most blinding smile of his life.

"Just fill out some paperwork and you'll be all set." Joyce said, handing Germany some papers.

"Thank you," Germany replied, giving a soft grin to Italy and his son on the other side of the glass.

While Italy was busy staring at his new son, Germany sat down and filled out the paperwork. As soon as he got Italy to sign a few things, they were all set to bring Viktor home.

Soon enough, Viktor was strapped in a car seat and buckled in. Italy volunteered to stay back with Viktor to make sure he was okay. Germany drove them all home.

When they finally reached home, Italy cradled his son in his arms and sat in one of the armchairs. Viktor had his father's blonde locks, poking out from underneath a blue cap and, according to Italy, the same peaceful expression Germany had while he slept.

Germany squeezed next to Italy as Viktor began to wake up. His eyes were the same beautiful blue as Germany's, so crisp and clear.

"Hey there, bambino." Italy smiled as he clutched a newly awakened Viktor in his arms. Viktor whimpered at the sight of the strange new people looking down at him, but was quickly calmed by the gentle rocking of Italy.

Germany stroked his son's hair gently, soothing him and letting him know that he wasn't going to hurt him.

As Viktor gazed up at his new parents, it hit them both that he was theirs...all theirs.

Son of the Hero

"C'mon officer, that wall totally cut me off!" America explained to the shocked and annoyed cop, smiling like nothing had happened. Japan standing next to him, apologizing fervently.

"Sir...you drove a van through a wall to a hospital." The officer pointed to a large blue van sitting in the hospital waiting room, surrounded by bricks and drywall. "You could've killed someone!"

"Ah," America grinned smartly. "But I didn't."

"That's not the point!" The officer shouted, frustrated. "Sir, have you been drinking lately?"

"No way! That's for tonight!" America replied.

"He's not drunk, sir." Japan said, looking extremely nervous. "I can assure you of that."

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to have to ask you to breathe into this." He held out a breathalyzer to America.

America sighed and breathed into it. The officer checked the test and his eyes widened in shock. "You're clean? But-!"

"Told ya!" America interrupted.

"He's not drunk," Japan continued, "he's just an idiot."

"Well, you'll still have to pay for damages." The officer said, ticked off.

Japan reached for his checkbook, "H-How much?" He asked anxiously. The officer handed him a slip of paper with the cost for repairs. Japan choked and solemnly wrote down the amount, muttering, "As if we weren't already knee-deep in debt."

"Don't worry, Kiku!" America said enthusiastically. "We can just borrow the money from China!"

Japan sighed heavily and handed the check to the officer, who thanked him, gave it to a waiting nurse, and left.

"Why me?" Japan asked, hand covering eyes.

"Well, now that that's taken care of, let's go get our son!" America began bolting toward the maternity ward Japan ran after him.

"You know, we didn't check the gender!" Japan called after America. "It could be a girl!"

"Nah, it's totally a boy!" America replied. "My hero instincts tell me so!"

When they finally made it to the maternity ward, America went right up to the front desk. "My name's Alfred Jones. I'm here to pick up my son."

"Or daughter!" Japan interjected.

The nurse looked down at a clipboard, and said, "Right this way." They followed her down a hall and into a small room. "He's right here." She picked up a little blue bundle and handed it to America. Inside was a small boy, with dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. A mirror image of Japan.

"Told you it was a boy!" America grinned at Japan, as he gazed over his shoulder.

"...How did you-?"

"Hero's instincts!" He turned to his son. "Hey there little buddy, I'm your new dad, and this is your new mom." He motioned to Japan.

"Wait a minute!" Japan exclaimed. "I'm just as much a father to him as you are!"

"Sure you are, honey." America winked jokingly, holding Kobey close to his chest, wondering if it was possible to have a heart attack because of sheer joy.

"Now I just need a name, and for someone to fill out these papers and you can be on your way." The nurse handed them a series of sheets and a pen.

"Kobey," America answered before Japan could say anything. After all, he had been dead set on that name. "I'll fill out the papers. Here Kiku, you should hold him." He handed Kobey to Japan and took the papers from the nurse.

Japan cradled Kobey in his arms and gently rocked him. Kobey's smiled up at Japan and slowly began to close his eyes. Japan began to feel much calmer as he held his son close to himself, feeling his tiny heartbeat and watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. Japan saw Kobey as a tiny miracle.

"Done!" America suddenly declared, so loud that he nearly woke up Kobey, who was now napping. "Alright, let's go home!"

"But our van is in a wall," Japan pointed out.

"Don't worry, I'll get it out!" America said as he ran out the door.

"I don't like the sound of that," Japan uttered, following close behind America.

Japan made it to the waiting room just in time to see America kick down the wall around the van, creating a space large enough for them to drive out. "TA-DA!" He proclaimed. "See, told you I could get it out!"

"I'm driving!" Japan announced, securing Kobey safely in the backseat, praying silently that he would have the patience and integrity to handle both America and a newborn, and also praying his son would live through the car ride home.

French or English?

"For the last time, I'm not naming him Désiré!" England shouted at France while he was driving their car home, a small blonde baby sleeping peacefully in the backseat.

"Well, I refuse to name him Thomas! That's far too boring!" France yelled back.

"Shut up, Frog!" England retaliated.

"Nice comeback. No really, I'm shaking," France mocked.

"Are you freaking mocking me?" England shouted, preparing to punch France.

"Maybe I am!"

"You're damn lucky I'm driving the car you French bastard!"

France huffed, "Look, we're not going anywhere with this and if we keep shouting like this we'll wake him up."

"...You got a point." England reluctantly replied. He absolutely hated it when France was right. "But what ARE we going to name him?"

France scratched his chin and considered his options for a moment. "What about Leon? That sounds nice, right?"

England looked at France for a moment, finally managing to choke out, "Actually, I like that name."

France smiled triumphantly. "Leon Bonnefoy does have a nice ring to it."

England nearly stopped the car in complete shock, "Wait a minute! Who said his last name would be Bonnefoy?"

"I did!" France said angrily, "It sure as hell will NOT be Kirkland!"

"And what's wrong with Kirkland?"

"It's far to English for my tastes!" France stopped for a moment. "We're doing it again."

England sighed, realizing France was right...AGAIN! "God, we really gotta stop arguing."

"But, how are we going to solve his last name crisis?" France pointed out.

"How about this?" England suggested, "Let's mash the two names together. Something like...Kirkfoy, does that sound okay to you?"

"Mon cher, that's genius!" France exclaimed, kissing England on the cheek. England blushed a little and tried to refocus his attention on not rear-ending the car in front of them.

France looked back at Leon, still sleeping peacefully in the back-seat. He ran his fingers through the little boy's golden locks, watching as he stirred and slowly opening his sleepy azure eyes.

"He's really handsome isn't he?" France remarked. "He's got your hair, mon cher."

"Yeah, but he's got your eyes, frog," England chuckled.

France looked back at Leon, who seemed to be smiling brightly. It was a wonder he slept through the whole argument. Which was good, since there were plenty more to come. Somehow France knew that this was the beginning of a perfect family.

La Nostra Bambina

Two-year-old Viktor sat on his bed and sulked. He wasn't too happy when he heard he was going to be a big brother: he had quite enjoyed being an only child and he wanted to keep it that way, thank you very much.

A knock came on his door. It was his father. "Viktor? Are you in there?"

Viktor grunted in response, clearly wanting to be left alone. Germany took this as a yes and walked right in. "Your mother's back. Don't you vant to meet your new sister?" So it was girl.

"No!" He said firmly and turned his back to Germany. "I don't want a little sister! Can't we take her back?"

"No ve can't," Germany said firmly. "And your mother vants you to come downstairs to meet her."

"But I don't wanna!" Viktor whined.

"Viktor." Germany's voice was a warning. He knew he'd better get his butt downstairs or there would be consequences. So, he reluctantly got off the bed and followed his dad downstairs, huffing frustratedly the whole way down.

When they finally reached the living room, Viktor saw his mom sitting on the couch, rocking a small pink bundle in his arms.

"There. I saw her." Viktor turned to leave.

"Not so fast, young man." Germany picked Viktor up and slung him over his shoulder, "Come on."

"Dad! Put me down!" Viktor whined. Germany did eventually put him down, right next to Italy and his baby sister.

Italy smiled at him. "Say hello to your new little sister, Lexiella." He pulled the blanket away from her face so his son could get a better look.

Viktor gasped when he saw Lexi's angelic face. She had soft reddish-brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and a soft smile. She raised a tiny hand out to Viktor, as if to say, "Hello." Viktor was amazed at how small and fragile she looked: he felt as if he could break her if he touched her. He gently took her hand in between his forefinger and thumb. Lexi squeezed his fingers affectionately. He realized she was stronger than she looked. He couldn't help but smile.

"I think she likes you," Italy whispered to Viktor.

"C-Can I hold her?" Viktor asked, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Ve~! Of course you can, just be careful." Italy placed Lexi in Viktor's awaiting arms, making sure neither of them dropped her.

Viktor pulled her close to his chest, hugging her tightly. She felt so warm against his cool body. He felt her heart thumping against him. It was strong and sure, and it was beating with his heart. He leaned down and softly brushed his lips against her forehead, in somewhat of a kiss. She giggled a little and placed her hands on his chest, attempting to hug him.

"She's...beautiful," Viktor muttered. Both of his parents smiled. Italy wrapped his arm around his son, while Germany sat on the other side of him and brushed Lexi's hair from her eyes.

'Lexi...I'm making a promise to you right now.' Viktor thought. 'No matter what happens to either of us, I swear that I will guard you with my life. I'll protect you and keep you safe from all the bad in this world. Cross my heart!' Lexi's smile seemed to get bigger as if she'd heard his thoughts.

"I love you," Viktor whispered into Lexi's ear, wondering if his parents heard him.

He guessed they did, because the next thing he knew, he was being smothered in a family group hug.

* * *

><p>Ending AN

Me: v~v I'm terribly sorry if you feel I wasted your otherwise productive life. But, I'm at least glad you took the time to read it till the end of chapter one.

Onilee: You should waste your life in other ways, like playing "Angry Birds"! ^_^

Me: *puts Onilee in headlock* Chapter 2 is hopefully to come out soon. I'm a horrible procrastinator so bear with me.

Onilee: It's true! It took her a week to post this even though she had it finished!

Me: *tightens headlock* This chapter is dedicated to my friend AkiraWolfWriter888, (I strongly advise you to look up her fanfics, they kick ass!) who Grammar-Nazied and critiqued this before I posted it, so it would be better than some of the crap I DO read on FFN.

Onilee: Yeah thanks! You made her think she's better than Prussia!

Me: I won't hesitate to kill you if you give me a reason, Onilee. Please Review! The cookies are begging to be eaten!

Onilee: She means: "DO IT OR I'LL KILL LEXI!"

Me: THAT'S IT! Where's my gun!

*static*


	2. Chapter 2

Me: GAH! I'm sorry I haven't updated in...a month. ^^'

Onilee: Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't make more of an effort to get her off her ass and WRITE!

Me: Well, I finally did it! Or at least got another chapter DONE!

Onilee: Yup! And this one will suck worse than the last! :D

Me: Can it, Onilee! Well, I apologize again for the late update, I'm just slowly losing the drive to write. I've been having off days lately.

Onilee: SHE NEEDS INSPIRATION PEOPLE! SHE DOESN'T FEED ME IF SHE DOESN'T GET INSPIRATION!

Me: I DO SO! I think what Onilee means is please review. They make me happy and inspire me to keep going!

Onilee: REVIEW! *points gun at kids* Or else I'll shoot. 8DDD

Kids: PHEONIXETTE! D8

Me: I THOUGHT I TOOK YOUR GUNS AWAY!

Onilee: Only the ones you know about. 8D

Me: =_= *takes gun away from Onilee* This chapter is basically focused on Rebeka and Zoltan. I haven't decided who the next chapter will be focused on, and I'm open to suggestions.

Onilee: I say focus on the little pervert.

Me: HIS NAME IS LEON, ONILEE!

Onilee: And he's a pervert.

Me: =_= Excuse me while I bang my head against the wall...enjoy.

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids Chap. 2<p>

The Twins First Word(s)

"Rebeka! Stop beating your brother with the teddy bear!" Hungary yelled as she picked Rebeka up and away from a crying Zoltan.

Rebeka squirmed in her mother's arms and waved the brown toy around like a deadly weapon. Eventually she gave up and just chucked it at her still sobbing brother on the floor.

"I can't leave you two alone together, can I?" Hungary sighed. Even though they were only six months old, they were fighting like they were mortal enemies. This had been going on since the day the two were born, and showed no signs of stopping. Rebeka always seemed to be starting these fights and Zoltan, quite frankly, didn't stand a chance against his hour-older sister. According to Hungary, Zoltan was too much of his father for his own good, and little Rebeka was too much of her for her own good.

"Roderich! Can you grab Zoltan for me?" With that she whisked Rebeka out of the playroom.

"Fine, Fine." Austria called from the other room. Austria picked up Zoltan off the ground and went to calm him down in the only way he knew how: playing the piano with him.

With Zoltan seated on his lap and the piano directly in front of him, Austria began to play Beethoven. Zoltan immediately stopped crying, staring intently at his father's fingers and each key they pressed, mesmerized by the tune that came from the huge black instrument.

When Austria had completed his tune, Zoltan's small hands went for the keys, making a feeble attempt to copy his father. Austria smiled, taking one of Zoltan's tiny hands and guiding them to each key. Zoltan smiled brightly as each key he pressed created a different sound.

They could have spent hours like this if at that moment the front door hadn't crashed open and a loud, rather obnoxious voice had gone booming through the house. "THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED!"

Austria put his hand to his head, trying to stave off an impending headache. "Not now…I don't have time for this."

He didn't have time to brood for long, as Prussia immediately went for the music room, barging right in as if he owned the place. "Hey Austria, I'm gonna crash here for a while!"

"And vhy on earth would you do that?"

"Well, let's just say—" Before Prussia could begin on his long, and probably pointless, explanation on why he was there, he was distracted by the baby in Austria's lap. "Who's the little fag?"

"This is my son." Austria replied simply, already used to Prussia's rudeness.

"No way! You had a kid? I gotta say, I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Had vhat in me?"

"The courage to do it with Hungary! Man, it must have took serious guts to-"

"I VAS DRUNK!" Austria shouted, clearly irritated.

"Roderich? What's all that noise?" Hungary asked as she walked in, Rebeka held tightly in one arm, a frying pan in the other.

"There's TWO of them!" Prussia exclaimed. "Man, you two really got busy!"

"They're twins, you moron!" Austria shouted at Prussia, who was laughing his ass off.

"Oh, not you." Hungary huffed. "Not now."

"Well, if they are your kids, then they'll need all the help they can get in the field of being awesome!" He grinned. "I guess I'll have to teach them!"

He pulled up a chair and faced Rebeka and Zoltan. "You see, there's only one thing that matters in this world, and that's being the best."

Zoltan seemed curious about Prussia, perhaps because he never knew anyone could be so loud. Rebeka, on the other hand, seemed clearly annoyed. "Of course, I, Prussia, am ALREADY the best," Prussia continued, "but you two could always try for second!"

With that, Rebeka took her mother's frying pan and smacked Prussia hard in the shin with it. Prussia stood up and yelped in pain, Austria stared in disbelief at Rebeka, and Hungary doubled over in laughter.

"Hey! No one hits the awesome me but-" Rebeka smacked him again, clearly not interested in what he had to say. Prussia cried out again. Austria started laughing at the sight of Prussia doubled over in pain, and Hungary was near the point of tears.

"Alright, that's it!" Prussia picked up Rebeka. Whatever he was going to do, he never got the chance. The second his face was in range, Rebeka swung the frying pan right in the mouth.

"AHHHHHH! OH GOD, THAT HURT!" Prussia dropped Rebeka, who was caught by Hungary. "That was totally not awesome!"

"No it vas not!" Austria laughed.

"You just had your ass handed to you by a six-month-old baby girl!" Hungary nearly screamed in hysterics.

"You know what? Screw you! The kid is obviously a freak of nature!"

"She's just a good judge of character!" Hungary laughed.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Prussia shouted.

"Oh nothing," Hungary waved her hand dismissively.

Prussia grunted, "I don't have time for this crap. Now if you'll excuse me, I was supposed to be a the bar an hour ago." With that he marched out.

Just as he left, a small voice rang throughout the room.

"Kill Pwussia." Austria and Hungary's laughter stopped, and they turned to the voice, mouths open wide.

"Kill Pwussia." Rebeka said.

"Rebeka! Oh my God…her first words! Roderich, get the camera!" Hungary squealed in delight. Austria ran out to get the camera. "Say it again, sweetie!"

"Kill Pwussia," Rebeka repeated, smiling a little. Austria ran back in with the camera and started filming.

"Again for the camera, sweetie!"

"Kill Pwussia!" Rebeka squeeled, now clearly excited.

"Yes!" Hungary shouted. "Yes, KILL him, sweetie. KILL PRUSSIA!"

Zoltan crawled up next to his sister, who was happily repeating her first words over and over again for her mother.

Austria continued filming. 'I don't know whether this is adorable or creepy.' Austria thought. 'Probably a little of both.'

6 months later

It had been six months since Rebeka had begun to talk, and she seemed to have a lot to say for a one-year-old. Her brother, however, had not said so much as a syllable in all that time. It had begun to worry Hungary and Austria.

"She started talking a while ago. They're twins, right? Zoltan should have been talking by now!" Hungary seemed stressed by her son's refusing to speak.

"He'll come around eventually, Ersze," Austria said while playing Chopin. "If he can play piano at age one I don't really think we should be too worried."

"Still, it's troubling."

"Just stop worrying and go horseback riding or something." Austria sighed. Hungary huffed and walked out of the room, obviously finding no comfort in Austria's indifference toward the subject.

At that moment, Zoltan walked into the room and over to his father, sitting at the piano. Austria, knowing what he wanted, picked him up at sat him next to him.

"Vhat do you want to play?" He asked, smiling brightly. Zoltan pointed at the Chopin sheet music Austria was already playing. "Alright." Austria began playing where he left off, just as he finished the last measure, Zoltan put his hand on his father's and looked up at him.

"Something wrong?" Austria asked.

"Oh, COME ON, daddy…the last few phrases of the adagio section are supposed to be part of the decrescendo!"

Austria starred dumbfounded at his son. "C-could you say that again?" he stuttered, in complete and undeniable shock that his long silent son had just spoke his first full sentence.

"I mean, even the most simple-minded fool could see that. It says so in the sheet music." He smiled and pointed to the decrescendo in the sheet music.

"You're…absolutely right. Ersze, could you come here for a second!" Austria called, frantic.

Hungary walked in, Rebeka tailing not far behind. "What is it?"

"Daddy screwed up the adagio section of the piece!" Zoltan giggled. Hungary stared open-mouthed at her son, turning to Austria.

"He's talking…?" she breathed. "In complete sentences?"

"And he knows how to pronounce 'adagio'," Austria added.

"Even Rebeka can't talk that well yet!" Hungary exclaimed as she rushed forward to give Zoltan a hug, Austria smiled up at them. Rebeka, on the other hand, was staring angrily at Zoltan for over-shadowing her.

She waltzed up to him, and once she had his attention said, "Screw you!" She stuck her tongue out at him and stormed back out of the room, sulking.

* * *

><p>Me: It was...kinda fixed up last minute. I just needed to get something up before I lost the will to do it. So please be nice, but I am open to criticism. I want this to NOT BE CRAP!<p>

Onilee: TOO LATE! IT ALREADY IS!

Me: I created you to encourage me, not cut me down!

Onilee: I AM ENCOURAGING YOU!

Me: How? You've done NOTHING but eat my food all month!

Onilee: In my defense, that was damn good fudge.

Me: MY FUDGE! NOOOOOO!

Onilee: Oh, get over it.

Me: *sniff* Please REVIEW! They really do help me update more often. If you did review the previous chapter. Please enjoy this giant cookie pie! *gives virtual cookie pie to reviewers*

Onilee: *slowly reaches for pie*

Me: NONE FOR YOU! *slaps Onilee's hands away*


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Another month...and this is all I have. I'm pathetic. So heres my explanation for lateness, 1: I'm lazy. 2: August has been hectic for me. Preparing for school and crap. 3: I'M SORRY!

Viktor: You said that last time.

Me: But, I am! ...Wait...Rebeka, Zoltan, Viktor, Kobey, Leon...WHERE'S LEXI?

Leon: WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW!

Me: ...and where's...ONILEE! *Runs out of room to find Onilee holding a gun to Lexi's head* NO! *tackles Onilee and grabs gun* THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

Onilee: You didn't make this chapter about the little pervert! This is revenge!

Lexi: Pheonixette! *runs into my arms*

Me: *picks up Lexi and balances her on hip while she buries face in my shoulder* HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND? You are NOT to kill off the kids, ESPECIALLY LEXI!

Onilee: Why? Cause she's your "favorite'!

Me: SHUT UP! *turns to readers* Look, I'm really sorry about her behavior, she's normally above murder. Sorry for late update...again, and I apologize for the shortness of this chapter.

Onilee: Which is NOT about the pervert!

Me: HIS NAME IS LEON, GOD DAMMIT! And Onilee's right, this chapter is about Kobey! Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids Chap. 3<p>

Japan's Question and Kobey's First Word

It all started out as a perfectly normal day: little one-year-old Kobey woke the household up at 5:30 in the morning...that is, he woke Japan at 5:30 in the morning. America would sleep right through this as Japan would get out of bed, slip on a robe, and go to get Kobey so he wouldn't wake the whole block.

Japan was used to waking up this early, so he didn't mind too much. He only minded on the rare occasion that Kobey was so fussy that he would wake America, who could sleep through a hurricane and wonder what the hell happened to the house. If Kobey was loud enough to wake America, it usually meant complaining neighbors at the doorstep. Today, thankfully, was not one of those days.

Once Kobey had quieted down, Japan took him downstairs for breakfast. Kobey would be placed in his high chair and watch Japan cook. For some reason, he found it extremely interesting. Maybe it was the way Japan did everything so quickly and effortlessly.

Breakfast was usually scrambled eggs-which Kobey was now able to eat instead of formula and baby food—and toast and coffee for Japan and America.

By 7:30 both had finished breakfast and America was still asleep. Still a perfectly normal day. After breakfast, Japan put Kobey in his playpen where he would mess around while Japan cleaned the kitchen.

Finally, 8:30. America had woken up, come downstairs, had begun to eat cold eggs and toast, and of course started complaining. "Why can't breakfast ever be warm when I eat it?"

"Maybe you should wake up earlier," Japan pointed out.

"Meh," America replied, which in American terms meant: "Not gonna happen."

This is how most mornings would begin, and the rest of the day could've gone just as perfectly normal, if Japan just hadn't asked one simple question.

"Alfred?"

"Yeah?"

"This may sound off topic, but why did you choose 'Kobey' for his name?"

"Oh, THAT." America laughed. "Easy: remember about two months before Kobey was born and we went out to dinner and you wanted to discuss names?"

"Of course…that's when you first mentioned the name 'Kobey'," Japan replied.

"Well, I hadn't really thought about names at that point so I was looking through the menu and I found the Kobe Burger."

Japan froze for a moment, thinking over what America had just said. Was he serious? Did he really name their son after a burger he saw on a menu?

"Actually," America continued, "I think that's what I ordered that night too!"

"You named him after a burger?"

"Yup! Except, I added the 'y' at the end. It made it look cooler!"

"Strangely, I'm not surprised," Japan sighed. "That really sounds just like you to name our son after a burger."

"After a damn good burger!" America pointed out.

Kobey just sat in his playpen, quietly listening to his parents' conversation. They didn't know it, but he knew what they we're saying. Just because he couldn't talk didn't mean he couldn't understand.

'Named after a burger,' he thought. 'That's pretty...AWESOME!"

America turned to see Kobey smiling at him. "Hey there, little buddy!" America picked Kobey up and put him on his knee. "How's it going?"

Kobey wanted to say something, but he couldn't seem to form the words. America only smiled and continued talking. Kobey was frustrated that he couldn't talk-he wanted to join in on his parents' conversations, be able to talk to them when he was hungry or tired instead of resorting to wailing. But he couldn't.

Soon, Kobey became thirsty. He tried first to get his dad's attention without crying, but America wasn't picking up the signs. Kobey did not want to cry. 'It's undignified,' he thought. When getting America's attention didn't work, he slid off his lap and crawled over to Japan, tugging lightly on his robe. Japan looked down at Kobey.

"M-Mom?" A small voice rang out. Japan stared down at his son in disbelief.

America leapt up out of his chair. "Kobey! Little buddy, your first word!" He scooped up Kobey and hugged him…or, in Kobey's opinion, attempted to smother him.

"Mom!" Kobey called, reaching for Japan.

"H-He...just called me 'm-mom'," Japan muttered, horrified. America apparently had drilled it into Kobey's head that Japan was the 'mom' and he was the 'dad', much to Japan's protests.

"Say it again, little buddy! One more time!" America exclaimed.

Kobey pointed at Japan and repeated, "Mom." Feeling proud he could talk, he showed it off. "Mom, mom, mom!"

"Aw, isn't that cute?" America beamed, "He called you 'mom'."

"B-B-B-But, I'm the father too!" Japan argued.

"Yes, whatever you say dear." America winked at Japan. "C'mon Kobey, let's celebrate!" America went into the fridge to get Kobey a bottle, then took him into the playroom. Japan, still in shock, just stood at the kitchen counter, wondering if he could undo what had been done.

Kobey was glad words were as effective as they were. Especially in getting what you want, as well as effecting people…such as America's smothers him and Japan's look of complete denial.

'Finally,' he thought, 'I don't have to cry incessantly anymore.'

The next morning, at 5:30, a new perfectly normal day routine had started. The household (Japan) being woken up by a little voice calling "Moooom!" and America sleeping right through it.

* * *

><p>Me: I'm sorry it's so short, but there really wasn't much to be said. I do pray you enjoyed it, nonetheless.<p>

Onilee: *tied up in corner* I still think that the pervert would have been a better choice.

Me: Will you shut up!

Onilee: Why did you tie my up anyway?

Me: Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was because YOU NEARLY BLEW LEXI'S BRAINS OUT!

Onilee: Ah, the key word her is 'nearly'. I didn't actually kill her.

Me: Well, you are going to stay there until I see fit! *turns to readers* Okay, readers, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE review! Give a suggestion, a comment, a correction, a simple WORD would suffice! I just want some reviews...T_T

Kids: *get down on knees and make puppy dog eyes* Please?

Me: Obey the puppy dog eyes! REVIEW! Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

Me: I'M BAAACK! And much sooner than usual to! Lucky readers!

Onilee: And this is the chapter I've been waiting months for!

Me: Yeah, Yeah. I finally wrote about Leon.

Onilee: HELL YEAH! COME ON LEON! LET'S CELEBRATE!

Leon: OKAY!

Onilee: *pulls out bottle of wine and two glasses*

Me: Is that Pinot Noir?

Onilee: Yeah! I swiped it from that fancy french restaurant that Oscar took me too last week!

Me: Oscar? Didn't you two break up?

Onilee: I forgave him for over-reacting when I slashed his tires.

Me: You slashed his tires? 0_e

Onilee: I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY NEIGHBOR'S! *pours wine and hands glass to Leon* TO YOUR CHAPTER!

Leon: Yeah!

Me: Oh no! *grabs wine from Leon* Those jerks down at the station are already all over my ass because I bail Onilee out every other week. And giving you wine is NOT a good way to show I'm responsible.

Leon: But...daddy let's me have it all the time!

Me: Yes, and I'm sure England would LOVE to hear all about it!

Leon:...I'll be good.

Onilee: Kill joy. =_= *sips wine*

Me: Anyway, I'd like to thank MegaHBofEvil for their review! YOU MADE MY DAY! I 3 you! Seriously, the day I got that review I wrote the next chapter! School just got in the way of posting it. So, let this be a lesson to the rest of you, REVIEW!

Onilee: Oh, tell them about the new rule!

Me: Right! If you favorite this story, you review it. NO EXCEPTIONS! Plus, if you do then you make me update faster. So everybody wins!

Onilee: *A little tipsy* No, I didn't win the game.

Me: DAMMIT NOW I LOST THE GAME! And, I thought wine didn't have a lot of alcohol?

Onilee: *hic* Oh, I mixed a little vodka in it. I think is Absolute...

Me: Greaaaaaaat. Enjoy the chapter! ^^

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids<p>

"I'm back!" England called as he walked into the front room. He had just gotten home from a meeting with his boss and had left France alone with Leon, something he didn't do very often…for VERY good reasons.

He was greeted at first by silence, then loud noises coming from the living room, as though someone had just flipped over the couch. England walked into the room just in time to see France hold out the remote and change the channel of the large TV. Leon was sitting quietly on the couch, mesmerized by the TV.

"What on earth were you two doing?" England asked, fearing the worst.

"Oh, nothing!" France grinned. "Just watching a little TV."

"What were you watching?"

"Nothing, really," France assured England, though he couldn't hide the flustered look on his face

"Really now?" England cocked an eyebrow.

"You don't trust me?" France asked.

"No. I don't." England snatched the remote out of France's hands. "That's why the TV has channel history."

France suddenly panicked and tried to take the remote back. England grinned, so the frog WAS up to something! England held the remote just out of reach, pressed a single button, and stared in disbelief at the TV.

"YOU BLOODY PERVERT! YOU WERE WATCHING A PORNO WITH OUR SON!"

"I was educating him!" France defended indignantly.

"EDUCATING! HE'S 18 MONTHS OLD!" England yelled, dropping the remote and scooping Leon off the couch.

"It's always best to start young," France explained. "He has a right to know how the world works."

England was beside himself. "YOU ARE POLLUTING HIS MIND! YOU BLOODY WANKER!" He began to walk out of the room. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with him."

"You don't trust me?" France asked again.

"I thought I already said no!" England turned to France, glaring. "And after what just happened, I may never again!"

"You should learn to trust me! Relationships are built on trust!"

"Quit changing the subject! We're not talking about our relationship! We're talking about you watching a porno with Leon!"

"In my defense, he liked it," France grinned.

England glared back. "You're lucky I'm holding Leon, because if I wasn't I'd throttle you. YOU BLOODY PERVERTED GIT!"

"You know you love it!" France winked.

England blushed furiously in return. "THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THAT!"

"Anytime is a good time to talk about it!"

"Not while I'm holding Leon!"

"He already saw it, so he'll be fine!"

"You bloody frog! You do realize if he grows up deranged, I'm blaming you!"

This argument could've gone on for hours, if not days, had Leon not chosen that exact moment to speak up.

"Porno."

England froze, nearly dropping Leon. France stared at his son, his eyes lighting up.

"MON DIEU! HIS FIRST WORD!" France immediately whisked Leon from England's grasp and twirled him around gleefully.

Leon giggled a bubbly little baby-laugh. "Porno!"

"Arthur, get the camera! We have to capture this precious moment!"

"Why would I want to capture this moment?" England bellowed, finally finding his voice again.

"Because it's our little boy's first word, and you should be proud!"

"PROUD? Why would I be bloody proud that THAT was his first word! YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

Leon laughed again, choosing this moment to utter his second word: "Wanker!"

This time it was France's turn to freeze in shock. England went quiet for a moment and then burst out laughing. "Now THERE'S something I can be proud of! He really must be my son!"

"Nononon!" France shouted, "Leon, mon cher, say the other word!"

Leon pointed to France and repeated, "Wanker!"

England continued to laugh hysterically, "I guess he knows one when he sees one!"

"You ruined his first word!" France cried.

England slowly stopped laughing. "No I didn't-I just improved it!" He walked over to France and plucked Leon from his arms. "Now if you don't mind, it's tea time."

England walked out of the room just as Leon giggled. "Porno! Wanker!" He was very much enjoying himself at this point, watching both his fathers smile, for once, at the same time.

* * *

><p>Me: Yeah, I know the chapters not AMAZING plus it's kinda short. But, aren't you GLAD I updated?<p>

Onilee: *hic* Of course they are! They're just pissed I made them lose the game! *hic*

Me: DAMMIT I LOST THE GAME AGAIN! STOP TALKING ONILEE!

Onilee: Sowwy...*hic*

Me: =_= Excuse me, I have to call her boyfriend. I'm not driving her home tipsy again, last time she threw up in the car.

Onilee: I tasted rasberries that time...*hic*

Me: You SEE what I put up with. Once again, FAVORITE AND REVIEW!

Everyone: UNTIL NEXT TIME!

Onilee: ...*hic*


	5. Chapter 5

A/N

Me: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~! *dances around room with kids*

Onilee: Hello? Author's note?

Me: Oh, hi readers. Let's get excuses out of the way, high school has been a total bitch...actually it's more of Spanish and my Spanish teacher being a bitch. This is like the first week I've had were I've had no projects to worry about. So, I'm deeply sorry about the over a month gap!

Onilee: And if you didn't realize it already: It's her birthday!

Me: Yup! October 18, save the date. Yesterday I promised myself I'd get this posted on my birthday, and low and behold, I did! So it's a gift for myself and for you guys for being so patient!

Onilee: So, RED VELVET CAKE FOR EVERYONE!

Kids: YAY!

Me: MINE! GET AWAY FROM MY CAKE! Oh...sorry you readers had to see me and my love of red velvet cake.

Onilee: It only gets uglier.

Me: *glares at Onilee* Anyway...as an extra bonus for being so patient, I added an extra little story that me and one of my best friends came up with over the summer. It will be in script form...because believe it or not, that's what I do best with!

Onilee: That explains why your writing sucks.

Me: DON'T INSULT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids<p>

Chapter 5

He's Not Italian, Dammit!

Germany sat on the couch, reading a book while Italy stayed in the kitchen making dinner, the aroma of pasta wafting throughout the house. Viktor sat on the floor, playing with the blocks Germany had given his son to occupy him. The country sighed-it had been ages since he had gotten a chance to relax like this. He'd always been busy between work and getting stuck in boring meetings with his boss. He never had any time to spend at home, with Italy and Viktor, something he really wanted to do.

"VE~! Ludwig, dinner's ready! Can you grab Viktor?" Italy called from the kitchen.

"Ja, ve'll been there in a moment!" Germany put down his book and plucked Viktor off the floor.

The six-month-old boy seemed a little surprised at being suddenly picked up and carried off, but soon realized it was just his father. For Viktor, it was a rare to see his dad around the house, he hardly got a chance to see him, he was always spending time with his mom, it was a nice change of pace to have his dad holding him.

Germany carried Viktor into the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" he asked, despite the fact he already knew the answer.

"PASTA~!" Italy grinned, pouring the pasta from the pot into the strainer.

"I should've guessed," Germany sighed, smiling softly. Viktor wriggled a bit in his arms and made a motion toward Italy and the pasta. "You want to see?"

Viktor smiled as if to say "yes", and Germany lifted his son up a bit, so he could see over Italy's shoulder.

Suddenly, through the room, a small cry echoed, "VEH~!"

Germany almost dropped Viktor, and Italy slowly turned about to look at his son and husband.

"Italy..." Germany began, "that _was_ you...right?" Italy slowly shook his head. They turned to Viktor.

"Veh~...?" Viktor repeated, a little curious at his parents' reaction.

"MIO DIO! HIS FIRST WORD!" Italy exclaimed, taking Viktor from Germany's arms and hugging him close.

'_His first word...had to be THAT?'_ Germany thought, staring in silent shock at an ecstatic Italy, and a grinning Viktor. _'Verdammt, I knew that I should spend more time at home! I'm I really not around so much that THAT'S his first word? He's not Italian__,__ dammit! He's German!'_

"VEH~!" Viktor smiled, enjoying the attention this new word was giving him.

"Again! Again!" Italy beamed.

"Veh~! Veh~! VEH~!" Viktor chanted.

"Uh...Italy? Maybe I should start spending more time with Viktor?"

"Really?" Italy asked, "Are you sure? I mean, you have a lot of work..."

"You've been taking full responsibility of him. I think I should start pitching in."

"VEH~! That would be great, Ludwig! You're so sweet!" Italy rushed over to Germany and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's a small price to pay," Germany muttered, still shaken by what his little boy just said.

"What was that?" Italy questioned, giving a curious look to Germany.

"Nothing!"

"Veh~!" Viktor smiled, reaching out for his dad. It really was nice when he got to spend time with Germany, who quickly took him in his arms as Italy resumed making dinner.

'_Let's just pray his next word isn't PASTA~!'_ Germany thought, balancing Viktor on his hip.

* * *

><p>Awwww! [Yeah. That's the title of this section. It's sums it all up. XP]<p>

It was a sunny fall afternoon. Viktor was on the floor, looking through the pictures in one of his dad's war books. Germany was watching the news, and Italy was taking a siesta on the couch next to Germany.

"Lexi should be waking up from her nap soon," Germany stated, glancing at his watch.

"I'll get her!" Viktor immediately piped up. He stood and went upstairs, into Lexi's nursery. She was standing up in her crib, leaning into the bars. "You were waiting for me to come and get you weren't you?" Viktor laughed. Lexi smiled wide and bounced up and down. "I'll take that as a yes." He walked over to the crib and took Lexi out as she wrapped her arms around him. Despite the fact he was only two, he was big for his age and Lexi was small enough for him to carry without much trouble.

He carried her downstairs, making sure not to drop her, and into the living room, where Italy was just waking up from his nap. "Ciao, you two!" He smiled sleepily. "Did my little bambina sleep well?"

Lexi smiled and reached for her mom, who sat up and took her from Viktor."Are you hungry bambina?" he asked. Lexi seemed to nod slightly, "Okay then, Viktor, can you hold her again for a second while I get her bottle?"

"Sure, mom." Viktor smiled, holding out his arms expectantly.

Lexi pointed at her brother. "V-Viktor..."

Viktor stared blankly at his sister, his parents suddenly stopping and listening intently. "Lexi? Say that again."

"Viktor?" Lexi repeated, reaching out for her brother.

"LUDWIG! GET THE CAMERA!" Italy shouted at Germany, who leaped of the couch to grab it. "Viktor! Try and keep her going until your dad gets the camera!"

"Okay! Can you say it again Lexi?"

"Viktor!" Lexi beamed.

"I-I'm her first word..." Viktor mumbled into total disbelief.

"I'm not surprised…she's totally crazy about you," Italy explained. "I would be surprised if you weren't her first word!"

Just then Germany walked in with the camera. "Okay, Lexi. Can you say it one more time?" He asked, camera pointed and rolling at Lexi.

"V-Viktor!" She beamed, trying to reach for her brother, a little frustrated that Italy hadn't let go yet. "Viktor! Viktor!"

Italy then let Viktor take Lexi. He turned to the camera. "Did you get that, dad?"

"Every word. Keep going!" Germany urged. Viktor set Lexi down on the floor in front of him and poked Lexi playfully on the nose. "Lexi."

"Viktor!" Lexi exclaimed, pointing to Viktor.

"Lexi. Lexi."

"Viktor! Viktor!"

Italy smiled at stood next to Germany. "I'm so proud of her."

"Me too," Germany replied, still letting the camera roll.

* * *

><p>Extra: The E-Bay Phase. (Backstory, me and my friend were discussing what Viktor was like when he was first told he would be a big brother. I suggested the classic "Trying to return the sister" But we took it a step further and had him...well, just read it. By the way, this was before Lexi was born.)<p>

Viktor: ...What?

Italy: *smiles* You're going to have a little sister in a few months!

Viktor: But, I don't want a little sister!

Germany: (Why did I expect this kind of reaction?) Viktor, I'm sure once she's born you're going to love her.

Viktor: NO I WON'T! Can't we return her when she's born?

Germany: No, we can't return her Viktor.

Viktor: Okay...then can we sell her on e-bay?

Germany: What? No we can't sell her!

Viktor: Really? I could've sworn you could sell babies on e-bay.

Germany: No. No you cannot!

Viktor: *stomps out of the room*

*The next day*

Germany: *working in office*

Viktor: *walks in* Dad?

Germany: Yes, Viktor?

Viktor: Are you POSITIVE we can't sell her on e-bay?

Germany: *sigh* Yes, I'm sure, Viktor.

Viktor: *walks out*

*The next day at breakfast*

Viktor: Are you 100% positive we can't sell her on e-bay?

Germany: Yes. I'm 100% positive.

Viktor: Huh...

*A few hours later*

Germany: *Reading book in living room*

Viktor: *walks in and sits next to Germany* Are you 200% sure that we can't sell her on e-bay?

Germany: YES! I'm POSITIVE!

Viktor: *pouts and walks out*

*About a month and several hundred "Are you sure we can't sell her on e-bay?"s later*

Germany: *working in office again*

Viktor: *walks in* Dad-

Germany: FOR THE LAST TIME VIKTOR, YES! I'M A MILLION PERCENT POSITIVE WE CAN'T SELL YOUR SISTER ON E-BAY!

Viktor: I wasn't going to ask that.

Germany: Oh, sorry. What were you going to ask?

Viktor: I was going to ask if we could sell her on Craigslist!

Germany: *bangs head against desk* (It never ends...)

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Did you like it? Did you? I pray it was worth the wait! And I thank you all so much for being patient. I will TRY SO HARD not to make the next update so late. Though, with school, I can't guarantee anything.

Onilee: That means: Wait another six months and we'll get back to you!

Me: NO IT DOES NOT! And I do apologize if this chapter sucked, I've noticed a recent decline in the quality of my work, so if you catch anything or have suggestions. Let me know.

Onilee: Let's see...scrap the whole thing and gimme that fudge you got!

Me: NOT THE MACKINAC ISLAND STUFF! THAT'S MINE!

Onilee: ...*lunges for fudge*

Me: NO!

Onilee: *summons army of squirrels* Oh, I don't think so. #D

Me: 0_e OH SHI-

*Static*


	6. Chapter 6

A/N

Me: Okay...I know it's been over two-months. So here's my list of reasons WHY I'm so late to update: I have about 15 different stories in my head at a time and I get inspired to do each of them at random times, making typing this hard. My Spanish grades have been suffering and I've had to devote my time to fixing that, I'm actually getting moved down to a regular class from honors, which I'm happy about. (My Spanish teacher's a big b*tch...) I was going to do this over Thanksgiving, but my Grandma came over and I never get to see her, plus she's in chemotherapy and battling cancer for like the 4th time, I wanted to spend time with her since I might not get to see her again. And just other distractions in general

Onilee: Oh bullshit. You had tons of free time and still refused to continue writing!

Me: GO SHOVE IT! I'm already depressed as is. Though I am glad I got to update today. I hope you all had a Merry Chirstmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Winter Solstice/whateveritisyoucelebrate! Mine was rather good, oh and have a Happy New Year and ENJOY! ;D

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids Chapt. 6<p>

"But why do we HAVE to stay here?" A six-year-old Rebeka whined as her mother half-led, half-dragged her down the long hall that lead to the playroom.

"Please Rebeka, you're making a scene. You and your brother are staying here because your father and I have a World Meeting to go to," Hungary explained.

"And you won't be alone," Austria continued, carrying Zoltan behind them. "The other countries' kids will be here."

"But...there's no piano!" Zoltan complained, panic rising in his voice.

"It'll only be for a couple hours," Hungary sighed. "Now before we leave, I want both of you to be on your best behavior. No fighting, no being rude, and please don't kill each other."

"...Fine," Rebeka huffed.

"She's lying!" Zoltan accused. "She'll beat me up the second you shut that door!"

"Oh please," Rebeka scoffed, a devilish smirk snaking its way across her face. "Have some faith in your dear sister."

"Ersze, we better get going. We'll be late." Austria tapped his watch for emphasis.

"Alright, be good you two!" Hungary beamed, kissing the twins and shoving them in the room.

The door shut behind them as their parents walked away.

'This is going to be fun...' Rebeka thought, her roguish grin returning.

Zoltan took one look at his sister and immediately knew what was going to happen. 'I'm going to die.'

* * *

><p>"Alright Leon," England said, kneeling down to look his four-year-old son in his eyes. "Your father and I are going to be in the meeting down the hall. So that means you are going to have to be on your best behavior. And you do remember what that means, right?"<p>

Leon huffed and recited, "I can't pick a fight with anyone, especially someone stronger or bigger than me. I have to share the toys in the room. And under no circumstances am I allowed to do ANYTHING Daddy told me to do."

"Exactly," England praised, ruffling Leon's hair.

"But, does that mean I can't show my love to the other kids?" Leon whined.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" England shouted.

"Oh, let the boy have his fun, cher," France cut in, smiling mischievously. "If he wants to show his love to the other children then let him."

"I will bloody not! I don't know what the hell you've been teaching our son, but if YOU taught him it, it cannot be good!"

"You have that little trust in me, Arthur?"

"What do you think?"

"Well I think you should trust me a little more with our son!"

"No way in hell!"

Leon sighed, when his parents usually got this deep into an argument, there was only ONE way to snap them out of it. Leon took a deep breath and let it out in a yell: "GUYS I'M MOVING TO AMERICA AND BECOMING A LEGAL CITIZEN THERE!"

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!" England and France shouted.

Leon smirked as both his parents realized what just happened. "We did it again, didn't we?" England sighed nervously. Leon nodded in response.

"Arthur, we better hurry or we'll be late," France said, motioning towards the meeting room.

"Just behave Leon." England gave his son a quick hug and shoved him into the playroom.

Leon had a feeling he'd be having a very interesting day.

* * *

><p>"Alright little buddy, your mom and I have a meeting to go to all day, so you'll be staying here in the playroom with the other kids!" America smiled, leading little four-year-old Kobey to the playroom.<p>

"For the thousandth time, Alfred, I'm just as much the father in this family as you are!" Japan interjected.

"Whatever you say, dear." America winked.

"...Do they have Legos in the playroom?" Kobey asked.

"I'm pretty sure they do, Kobey. And your cousin Leon will be there too. You haven't seen him for a while!"

"For good reason," Kobey muttered under his breath, remembering his strange blonde cousin and their last encounter…an experience that he'd rather forget.

"So, be on your best behavior, okay?" Japan continued.

"Okay, Mom." Kobey grinned.

"Kobey, I'm just as much your father as he is," Japan corrected, indicating America.

"They why do you always wear that dress in the house?"

Japan's face flushed in embarrassment. "It's a kimono and you know that Kobey."

"Then what's with the apron and bandana?"

Japan quickly changed the subject. "Wow, look at the time. Alfred, we should get going."

"Right!" America waved goodbye to Kobey as he walked into the room. "Have fun little buddy!"

"They better have Legos here," Kobey muttered as he shut the door behind him.

"But there's no reason for us to stay here! I can take care of Lexi by myself!" Viktor argued with his father, while holding on tightly to the hand of his little sister.

"Viktor, you're five years old. You're too young to be home alone." Germany pointed out.

"But I wouldn't be alone!" Viktor retorted, a bit smugly. "I'd have Lexi!"

"Viktor, I'm not leaving you home alone and that's final," Germany said a vein popping in his forehead. Viktor knew better than to argue his case further when his father got like this.

"You'll only be here one day," Germany continued. "Besides, who else am I going to trust to take care of Lexi while we're in the meeting?"

"No one!" Viktor responded with confidence. He took pride in being able to take better care of his sister than anyone, besides his own parents.

Italy smiled as he turned to the kids. "We should be out in a couple hours, so just be good. And Viktor?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Just because we want you to look after Lexi, doesn't give you the right to beat up the other kids."

"I won't, Mom," Viktor said with confirmation.

"Good," Italy said, opening the door to the playroom. "Have fun, you two!" The door shut behind them.

As Viktor scanned the room, he recognized Rebeka and Zoltan from the few times they had visited their house. There was a dark-haired boy in the corner playing with Legos, and a blonde one next to him, talking animatedly and clearly annoying the hell out of him.

Rebeka turned to notice Viktor and Lexi by the door. "I was wondering when you two would show up!"

"Yeah, yeah, we're here," Viktor said, walking over to her, Lexi's hand still held firmly in his.

"Well then I guess you should get to know the other two," Rebeka stated, pointing at the boys. "The one messing with the Legos is Kobey, America and Japan's kid. And the blonde one is Leon. His parents are France and England."

"I see..." Viktor muttered, not really interested.

Meanwhile, Leon and Kobey turned their heads to see who had just come into the playroom.

Kobey saw a young, spacey brunette girl, and her tough-looking older brother holding her hand.

Leon saw a totally dateable cute girl, and an obstacle.

He walked over to them, eyes glued on Lexi. "Hi there! I'm Leon," he said, in his best attempt to copy his father's seduction. "How do you feel about the handsome, sensitive types?"

"Umm..." Lexi mumbled, gripping her brother's hand.

"Care to repeat that last sentence?" Viktor glared daggers at Leon.

"Ummm...'How do you feel about handsome, sensitive types?'" Leon replied unsurely.

"That's what I thought you said." Viktor cracked his knuckles and gave Leon a swift jab in the stomach.

"GAH! Hey what's the big idea?" Leon shouted, clutching his gut.

"Take that as a warning. Try something like that with my sister again and your limbs will be scattered across the room." Viktor walked away with Lexi still in tow.

Leon sat down next to Kobey, still busy with the Legos. "Hey Kobey, did you see what just happened?"

"Yes I did," Kobey responded dully, not even bothering to look up. "And if you want my opinion, you brought that on yourself."

"It's not my fault that she's totally hot and has a jerk for an older brother!"

"Dude, she's like three. I say quit while you're ahead."

"No way! I won't stop until I get a date with her!"

"...Good luck with that."

Suddenly Rebeka appeared behind them from out of nowhere. "Hey, Kobey! Make a throne out of Legos for me!"

Kobey, still not bothering to look up, responded, "...Sure, I got nothing better to do."

"Hey!" Zoltan yelled, storming towards his sister. "You can't just order people around like that!"

"Oh I think I can!" Rebeka grinned, puffing out her chest.

"What makes you say that?" Zoltan frowned.

"Because I'm 'IN CHARGE'!" Rebeka pulled out a small cardboard badge with the words IN CHARGE scrawled across the top in black marker. The others gathered around to get a look at it.

"That's totally fake!" Zoltan protested. "You're not in charge! You made that yourself!"

"So?" Rebeka retorted. "Just 'cause I made it doesn't mean I'm not!"

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't!"

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't!"

In all the chaos Leon decided to make his second attempt at Lexi, while Viktor was distracted by the twins' fight.

"Hello again." He smiled charmingly.

Lexi jumped a little and turned to him. "Oh, uh…hi?" She answered.

"You look very pretty today," Leon complemented, making Lexi feel even more uncomfortable by the second. Leon started inching toward her. "You wouldn't mind if I kissed you, would you?" He puckered his lips expectantly.

"EEK!" Lexi shrieked. Going on instinct she kicked Leon in between his legs, hard, and ran in the opposite direction.

Leon, stood rigid for a moment in agonizing pain, but he quickly composed himself and ran after Lexi.

"VIKTOR! HELP ME!" Lexi cried running as fast as she could-which was FAST considering she was Italian.

Viktor quickly took note of the situation and ran to the toy box, pulling out a large Nerf gun. He pumped it and ran after Leon.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER, BASTARD!" he shouted, firing his first shots at Leon.

"You can't stop me!" Leon taunted, trying as hard as he could to keep pace with Lexi and not get any closer to Viktor.

As the chase continued, so did Rebeka and Zoltan's battle. "YES IT DOES!" Zoltan yelled at the top of his lungs.

"NO IT DOESN'T!" Rebeka screamed. Having had enough, she grabbed a jump rope from the toy box and wasted no time in tying up her twin tightly.

"Hey! No fair!" Zoltan whined.

"Yes fair. Now why don't you stay in the closet for a few hours?" Rebeka grabbed him by his collar and dragged him to the closet. She tossed him in and shouted, "I'll be back in a few hours...if I remember you're still in there!"

As for Kobey, he decided to stay neutral on all matters as he finished up Rebeka's throne. He could care less about whether Zoltan got out of the closet or whether his cousin got the snot beat out of him or not. He just wanted to work with the Legos until his dad took him to Burger King and relieved him from these idiots.

* * *

><p>*A few hours later*<p>

"That concludes this year's meeting," Germany announced over the chaos in the meeting room. At those words, the room went silent, and soon the nations started filing out-allies talking with allies, enemies glaring at enemies, and the parents making their way to the playroom.

"I hope they were okay in there," Hungary said nervously.

"I'm sure they were fine," England replied. "We were only gone a few hours. What could've possibly gone wrong?"

They opened the door, and found out just what went wrong.

The first thing they noticed was a large, multi-colored throne constructed out of Legos in the center of the room, with Rebeka sitting proudly atop it. A badge pinned to her shirt reading, "IN CHARGE". Lexi was running around the room, still at top speed, trying to get away from Leon who managed to keep chase, while Viktor tailed him, constantly firing Nerf darts at him. Kobey and Zoltan...were nowhere to be seen.

After a long silence, England was the first to speak. "All in favor of never leaving the kids alone in the same room again, say 'I'."

"I!" All the parents quickly agreed.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Germany shouted. Lexi suddenly stopped, Leon crashed into her and Viktor crashed into Leon. Rebeka looked nervously at her parents, wondering how she was going to explain this one.

Lexi immediately ran to Italy and hid behind his leg. Viktor thumped Leon hard on the back of the head. "Never go near my sister again, bastard!"

"Viktor, what happened?" Italy asked, trying to get Lexi to let go of his leg.

"This little pervert was trying to rape Lexi!"

"I was not!" Leon defended indignantly. "I was only trying to kiss her!"

"Try that one more time and I'll rip your lips off!"

"That's enough! Both of you!" Germany shouted, clearly pissed off.

"Leon, what did I tell you about doing anything your father told you to do?"

"Umm...that I shouldn't do it?" Leon smiled anxiously, England frowned at him. "I'm in trouble aren't I?"

"Oh, big time," England replied, grabbing his son's arm, and when he wasn't looking, France gave his son a wink and a thumbs up.

"And Viktor, what did I tell you about bullying other kids?" Italy scolded, finally prying Lexi off his leg and balancing her on his hip.

"But it was to protect Lexi!" Viktor explained.

"Even so, you're still in trouble."

"Man..."

"Rebeka," Hungary asked, "where on earth is your brother?"

"In the pits of hell," Rebeka stated, her classic grin creeping across her face.

"Rebeka…where is he?" Hungary pressed, placing her hands on her hips.

"Fine, he's in the closet."

"Rebeka! I know your brother may be a little girly but that's no reason to assume-!"

"NO!" Rebeka interrupted. "I mean he's LITERALLY tied up in the closet!"

"Oh..." Hungary breathed.

Austria made his way to the closet, opening it to find Zoltan sitting on the floor, looking completely dazed.

"Negative forty-eight bottles of Schnapps on the way, negative forty-eight bottles of Schnapps. You take one down, pass it around, negative forty-nine bottles of Schnapps on the wall!"

"How long has he been in there?" Austria asked, untying Zoltan, who continued droning the lines of the song.

"A few hours. I think he started at ten-thousand bottles of Schnapps," Rebeka replied without remorse.

"Rebeka, you know better than that!" Hungary reprimanded.

"WAIT! HOLD UP A MINUTE!" America hollered, the whole room turning toward him. "WHERE'S MY LITTLE BUDDY?"

"Up here, Dad," a voice responded. Everyone looked up to find Kobey dangling from a light fixture. "...I have no idea how I got up here. But I could use some help getting down."

"Don't worry little buddy! I got you!" America assured, holding out his hands. "Just let go and I'll catch you!"

"O-Okay..." Kobey said warily, and let go of the light fixture.

"NO WAY! Is that a Lego burger?" America stepped out from under Kobey.

"Kobey!" Japan jumped under Kobey and caught him before he hit the ground.

"Thanks, Mom," Kobey sighed in relief.

"I'm not the mother!" Japan puffed. "And Alfred! You should be more careful! Kobey could've broken something!"

"Ah, but he didn't," America pointed out, taking Kobey's hand. "Now let's go get some Burger King!" America led the party out of the playroom.

After that, the parents quickly hired a babysitter.

* * *

><p>Me: It was longer than usual so I'm happy! I hope you enjoyed it immensely and that it made up for the 2 missed months...I'm SOSOSOSOSOSOOOOO sorry again. Oh, and I forgot to tell you guys, I have finals after I get off winter break and because of that I won't be able to update during January. Expect me back by middle to late Feb. SORRY! IN ADVANCE!<p>

Onilee: You might as well just give up!

Me: NEVER! NOW SHUT UP AND MAKE ME COOKIES!


	7. Chapter 7

Hetalia Kids Chapt. 7

A/N

Onilee: Alright, Pheonixette let me run the A/N for this chapter because she's to ashamed to show her face. She promised this months ago and she's terribly sorry. She's in the corner moping now...HEY SHOW SOME DECENCY AND SAY HI!

Me: *sniff* I deserve to die!

Onilee: Pathetic...*pulls out paper* Okay, she gave me this to read: I'm so terribly sorry, blah blah blah...I promised this over a month ago, blah blah blah...I'm just going to skip the crap and cut to the excuses. When she left off, she had 2 weeks till finals and a C in Spanish which she promised her mom she'd fix, she had to devote her time to that. Around the same time, Winter Play practice kicked into overdrive and she had to devote her time to that as well, since she was so busy with that she got sick. If thing's couldn't get any worse, her grandmother passed away after battling...40 years I think of cancer. She had to go to New Jersey to attend the funeral, she took it hard cause they were close but could've been closer. Then, during February she had to make some new adjustments to her schedule with the new semester, as well as join in her school's Variety Show, many rehearsals and high stressed caused her to become sick...AGAIN! This caused her to miss her set deadline for this fanfic. School took over and the one weekend she had no projects to worry about she became so sick she couldn't get out of bed and further delayed the posting.

Me: *nods* I DESERVE PUNISHMENT!

Onilee: Oh, she also suffers from a crippling disease know as "Mega-Extreme Procrastination Syndrome" or MEPS, even with hours of free time, the disease was relentless. With your help *cough*reviews*cough* we can find a cure. NOW SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE FRUITS OF THREE MONTHS LABOR...*shakes fist threateningly* ENJOY IT!

* * *

><p>"Alright, this is the number of the restaurant we'll be at, and all our cell numbers. Call if anything goes wrong." Hungary handed the babysitter a slip of paper.<p>

"Oh, and make sure to keep Leon away from Lexi, Viktor away from Leon, and Rebeka away from Zoltan," Germany added. "One more thing…"

All the parents took a deep breath, and stated, "Whatever you do, DO NOT leave the kids alone in the same room!"

"Relax guys! I like, totally got this covered!" Poland beamed. "You can like so count on me!"

"Well then, we'll be back to pick them all up at around ten thirty," Austria said, leading the way out the door. "Good luck!"

"You're going to need it," they all muttered as the door shut behind them. Poland turned to the kids.

"Well then, looks like your stuffy old parents aren't around to, like, bother us anymore! So that means we can do anything you kids, like, wanna do!"

"Anything?" Rebeka questioned, eyeing her brother while smirking evilly.

"Anything except, like, attacking anyone. I like, don't want any blood on my carpet!"

"What if I just bruise him?" Rebeka asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Like, no way! I'm so not taking the fall for that, gal-pal!

"Then what are we supposed to do for fun around here?" Kobey responded.

Poland smirked and whistled. Suddenly seven ponies burst through the back door, all standing proudly at attention, their manes glistening in the waning sunlight from outside, their eyes sparkling with the untold pride of being a horse. "This is, like, my pony army!"

"Your what now?" Viktor replied, staring at the ponies with absolute disbelief.

"Like, my pony army! Who wants like a freaking awesome pony ride?"

All the kids raised their hands.

"Awesome!" Poland clapped his hands. "Now, these delicious pieces of pony are Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinky Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Bob."

"Why Bob?" Kobey asked curiously.

"Hey! Bob's a totally awesome name! You, like, have a problem with it?"

"No! It's just an...interesting name for a pony?"

"It like totally is! Like, everyone take their pick, and get on your freaking beautiful pony!"

Once the kids were situated on their ponies, Poland hopped onto Rainbow Dash and led the army of ponies out through the back door and into the wide, twilight-drenched fields of Poland's backyard.

It was truly the most majestic of sights to behold.

After a few hours of riding, the sunset's reds and pinks turned to black and the well-trained ponies dropped everyone off inside before returning to their stables.

"Okay, we should, like, SO start getting ready for bed. It's, like, almost nine freaking thirty."

"Awww..." Lexi whined. "Can't we stay up a little longer?"

"Well...I guess I could, like, tell you guys the, like, magical story of Princess Jennifer Aniston!"

"Isn't she that 60-year-old actress?" Kobey asked.

"I like said 'Princess', didn't I?" Poland pointed out. "Now like let me start! Years ago, a princess was born to a king and queen of a lovely kingdom, her super rainbow-tastical name was Princess Jennifer Aniston. She was a beautiful princess whose biggest dream was to go to Hollywood and be a totally successful actress!"

"Aha! See, it is that 60 year-old actress!"

"Kobey! Like, let me tell the story! Now, like where was I...oh yes, it was a totally super hard first few years in her career, and she was considering giving up. Until, she got a spot on the hit TV sitcom _Friends_. She won tons of awards, and was paid legit millions! Her dream like finally coming true! Then she like met what she thought was her total dream-man, Prince Brad Pitt."

"What do you mean, 'what she thought'?"

"Well, like, you see, Rebeka, after dating two years they got married, but rumors popped up about the Prince being like totally unfaithful to Princess Jennifer, with Lady Angelina Jolie."

"That weird lady who kept having octuplets?"

"No, Zoltan. You're thinking of Octomom," Rebeka explained, a know-it-all grin plastered on her face.

"Didn't she just die in childbirth?" Kobey cut it.

"Yeah! I know, that was so sad! I feel so sorry for those kids!" Lexi cried.

"It was going to happen sooner or later!" Viktor continued smugly.

"Wait, but who's Angelina Jolie?" Zoltan wondered aloud.

"She's the crazy lady who ADOPTED all her kids...and she had some HUGE lips." Rebeka continued, smacking her brother on the head. "Honestly, how clueless could you get?"

Zoltan just glared at his sister, rubbing the spot Rebeka hit.

"Back to the story! Well, eventually Princess Jennifer filed for divorce. She claimed she regretted nothing, but she still took it really hard."

"That's what she said!"

"LEON!"

"I couldn't help it! He walked right into that one!"

"ANYWAY, for years Princess Jennifer went through a series of flings, sadly never finding her soul-mate. Until, like, she found Prince Justin Timberlake! Though they were so far apart in age, they were so in love. They were married off after a total year of dating, and had two, like, totally awesome children together. Princess Jennifer Aniston found her happy ending, and her movies can still be seen today! I totally recommend _Bruce Almighty_. The end."

"That was...actually not half bad." Zoltan smiled.

"Despite Zoltan's total lack of taste in…well, everything." Rebeka grinned roguishly, "He's right."

"Well, it's like SO late. You kids should like be in bed!"

"But we're not tired!" Lexi whined.

Poland thought for a minute. "Be like, right back!" He ran into the kitchen and came out a few minutes later with six medicine shot glasses full of a bluish-green liquid.

"What's that?" Kobey inquired.

"It's, like...uh...my 'Before Bedtime Mix'! Yeah! It tastes, like, totally fantasmical! You should so, like, have some!"

The kids looked strangely at Poland, and cautiously taking a glass each, chugged them down.

"BLEH!" Viktor exclaimed. "God, this is awful!"

"Yeah!" Lexi piped, then started yawning. "I'm...sleepy..."

The kids nodded tiredly in agreement, and slowly lay on the ground and fell fast asleep.

Poland smirked triumphantly. "I, like, so knew that Children's NyQuil would come in handy!" He placed blankets over the kids to keep them from freezing and pulled out his phone, dialing his best friend's phone number.

"Like, hey Liet! It's, like, ME!"

"Hi, Feliks."

"Liet, did you, like, get those BronyCon tickets I so asked for?"

"I did, but...well..."

"But, like what?"

"I sorta...lost them."

"YOU, LIKE, LOST MY BRONYCON TICKETS!"

"ONE OF THEM WAS MINE TOO!"

"LIET, LIKE, FIND THOSE TICKETS! I LIKE FOR HAVE TO GO TO BRONYCON OR I MIGHT JUST DIE AND YOU DON'T WANT ME TO TOTALLY DIE LIET, DO YOU?"

"No," Liet huffed in surrender. "Don't worry, I know there somewhere in my house. I'll find them."

"You, like, better, Liet! I'm putting, like, my total and absolute faith in you! BYE-BYE!" With that, Poland hung up the phone just as the doorbell rang.

Poland rushed to the front door and opened it to let in the parents.

"Okay, Poland, how much trouble were they?" England asked a bit nervously.

"Like, what are you talking about? It was, like, a total breeze!"

"Really? Impossible," Germany stated incredulously.

"No, like, for realsies! They were angels! They're, like, sleeping in my totally awesome living room."

The parents looked in the living room to see the kids sleeping deeply on the floor.

"Aww...they ARE like little angels!" Italy cooed in his usual way.

"They REALLY weren't any trouble?" Austria asked, still in disbelief.

"Like, none at all! They were, like, super-amazing!"

"Well, I guess we'll take them off you're hands. Thanks, Poland." Hungary smiled, scooping Rebeka into her arms.

"Like, anytime you guys need a totally awesome sitter again, call me!"

"We will. Merci, Poland!" France chatted picking up Leon.

The parents picked up the rest of their kids, and drove home. Little did they that leaving their kids alone with Poland would turn out to be a grave error.

* * *

><p>Onilee: Oh, a cliffhanger. Pheonixette you JERK! With your disease they won't know about what the hell Poland did for a month or more!<p>

Me: *sniffs* I'm a worthless human being!

Onilee: Just pray the brave readers out there will help you in your struggle. Look we're serious folks, we need some more reviews or she may not have the will to continue this and we all KNOW how we hate stories where the authors just give up, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY LEAVE IT ON A CLIFFY! So dig deep and just leave 1 stinking review, they take 30 seconds to write and they save stories! RIGHT KIDS?

Kids: HELL YEAH!

Onilee: Peace and until next time! If you bastards dig deep. =_=


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

Me: YAY! I actually updated! I'm so happy! 8'D

Onilee: Readers, don't get used to this...the next one won't show up for months. I give you my solemn oath.

Me: SCREW YOU, ONILEE! JUST LET ME HAVE MY DAMN HAPPINESS!

Onilee: You had your happiness when you were cuddling with those plushies last night. *hold up photos*

Me: GIVE ME THOSE!

Onilee: NO! THESE ARE IN CASE YOU EVER THINK OF FIRING ME!

Me: *pulls out flamethrower* I don't care whether you're holding them or not. They're getting burnt to a crisp! *turns to readers* This may take some time, in the meantime. ENJOY~!

* * *

><p>Rebeka, Zoltan, Leon, Kobey, Viktor and Lexi all woke up in their own houses the next morning after their night with Poland, snug in their own beds.<p>

Their mornings, though they were far away from each other, were surprisingly similar that day.

They all got out of bed, stretched and made their way down to their own kitchens. Rebeka and Zoltan, for once, not fighting. Leon wasn't shouting his threat to become an American citizen if his parents didn't shut up. Kobey was humming a pop tune as he walked through the halls of his house. Viktor seemed to have an aura of bliss around him instead of his usual tough-guy attitude. Lexi was eerily quiet: she was smiling, but she wasn't her usual cheerful and bubbly self.

Something was definitely amiss in the countries' homes that morning.

When they all made it to their breakfast tables, their parents were already up at putting breakfast on the table.

Hungary had made Rebeka and Zoltan Palacsinta (Hungarian pancakes), while Austria was sitting calmly at the table, skimming through the newspaper.

In Leon's house, England had made some breakfast tea (the only thing he could make properly for breakfast) and France was putting some croissants on the table.

It was clear that it was America's turn to make breakfast at Kobey's house, as IHOP carry-out bags had been dumped unceremoniously on the table. America was chomping his way through a rather large pancake drizzled with butter and syrup, and Japan was warning him to slow down before he choked.

In Viktor and Lexi's kitchen, Italy was sipping a cappuccino while Germany was putting some cold sausage and cheeses on the table.

For all the families, the day started out as perfectly normal.

But the status quo of the morning was shattered with one simple question each parents asked their kids.

"Morning! How was your night with Poland?"

"Like, totally awesome!" Six voices exclaimed.

* * *

><p>Austria immediately peered over his paper and stared in shock at Rebeka and Zoltan, both beaming.<p>

"...C-Can you repeat that?" He asked, trying to reassure himself this was a just crazy dream.

"Like, why dad?" Zoltan giggled.

"We said it was like totally awesome!" Rebeka explained, smiling and rolling her eyes.

Hungary stared incredulously at them. "My God...WHAT HAS POLAND DONE TO THEM?"

"Now calm down, Erzsi, they're probably still our children, just with a new speech pattern!"

"Maybe..." Hungary huffed.

Austria turned to Zoltan to test that theory. "Zoltan, after breakfast do you want to practice the piano with me?"

Zoltan giggled. "Like, WHY would I want to do that? The piano is, like, such a stuffy and totally boring instrument!"

Austria's jaw dropped. "Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

"But it's, like, totally me dad!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY SON!"

"Roderich, calm down," Hungary urged.

"Yeah, like, cool it dad!" Rebeka argued. "Zoltan, like, so doesn't deserve to be yelled at like that!"

Hungary and Austria exchanged looks.

"She...stood up for him?" Hungary stammered.

"Okay, this just got serious," Austria stated.

"There HAS to be some way to turn them back to normal!"

Austria stroked his chin thoughtfully, then suddenly stood up, grabbed Zoltan's wrist and began dragging him out of the kitchen.

"Like, hey! Let go Dad!" Zoltan shouted, struggling against his dad's grip.

Austria remained firm and lead him into the piano room, sitting him at the piano.

"Play," He ordered.

"Like, why?" Zoltan questioned.

"Because I said so. Now, play!"

"No way!"

Austria grabbed his wrists and forced them against the keys, gritting his teeth. "Come on, it's not that difficult! Just play some Mozart and we can be on our way!" Zoltan continued to struggle as Austria forced his hands closer and closer to the keys.

"DAD! THIS IS TOTALLY LIKE NOT COOL!"

"JUST PLAY IT ALREADY!"

"NO!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY IT WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT!"

Austria finally managed to force Zoltan's fingers to the first few notes in the song. Zoltan paused, then pressed the next note experimentally. Then he began playing the tune slowly, increasing the speed up to the proper tempo as the piece continued.

Once he finished, he sighed. "That was fun."

Austria immediately pulled Zoltan into a crushing hug. "Thank God! I have my son back!"

Zoltan smiled, turned back to the piano and began playing.

Meanwhile, as piano music wafted through the house, Hungary had grabbed two nicely sized frying pans and handed one to Rebeka.

"Like, what am I supposed to do with this?" Rebeka demanded.

Hungary knelt in front of her daughter. "We're going to go Prussia Hunting!" She explained.

"Like, what's that?"

"It's a game you came up with when you were three. We both take frying pans and we call Prussia. When he comes, we beat him with frying pans. Whoever gets the most hits in 5 minutes wins!"

Rebeka paused. "...Th-That sounds, like, a little harsh."

"No! He can take it! I'll give him a call!" Hungary picked up the phone and dialed Prussia's number.

Prussia picked up. "You've reached the awesome Prussia!"

"Hey Prussia."

"Oh, Hungary! Why the hell are you calling?"

"Oh, no reason. I was just going to tell you my scientists came up with this totally new awesome weapon. We haven't built it yet, but the blueprints are right in front of me in my kitchen. I just called to rub it in!"

"What kind of weapon?" Prussia asked, his curiosity peaked.

"Oh, I can't say: it's top secret." Hungary replied, trying hard not to laugh.

The line suddenly went dead. "Doesn't even have the decency to say goodbye." Hungary scoffed. "Well, he should be here soon. I'll show you how it's done, Kicsim!"

"Like...okay?" Rebeka responded.

Just as Hungary predicted, Prussia reached their home and began climbing through the kitchen window. "That new super-weapon will belong to the awesome me!" he cried, not even trying to be secret.

"Hey, Prussia." Hungary smirked, raising her frying pan.

"Oh shi-!" SMACK! Before he could finish, Hungary had hit him over the head with the frying pan, causing him to collapse on the kitchen floor. "OW! Oh no..." He moaned, realizing where this was going.

"Quick, Rebeka! While he's down!"

"Like, I don't know, Mom..."

"Just do it kicsim!" Hungary pushed.

Rebeka shrugged her shoulders and reluctantly walked over to Prussia, who was still rubbing his head, and hit him in the shin with a resounding pang of metal.

"OWWWWW!" Prussia rubbed his shin and tried to stand. "I won't let you guys-" SMACK! Rebeka hit him in the other shin and began laughing.

Hungary smiled and joined in. "Glad to have you back kicsim!" She smiled as Prussia stood, trying to retreat from the kitchen.

"Glad to be back. NOW DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE! WE STILL HAVE 30 SECONDS LEFT!"

* * *

><p>In Leon's house, as soon as he uttered the fateful words, France fell to his knees in his usual overly dramatic way. "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL FRENCH SON?"<p>

"He was English too!" England shouted, equally disturbed. "What in God's name has Poland done to him?"

"HE'S DESTROYED HIM! THAT'S WHAT HE'S DONE!" France cried, pulling Leon into arms.

"Francis, calm down! There has to be some way to reverse this...Leon, do you want to have some English breakfast tea with me?"

"Like, why would I want to do that?" Leon exclaimed.

France smirked. "Maybe this isn't a bad thing after all..."

"OF COURSE IT'S A BAD THING YOU DAMNED FROG! THIS IS A TERRIBLY BAD THING!"

"Like, why, Dad?"

France's grin grew wider. "Well, as long as he's not going to accept your tasteless boiled water you call 'tea'..." he walked over to the fridge and pulled out a half-empty bottle of wine.

"Uh..." Leon tried to cut in, but his parents didn't hear him.

"OH NO! WE ARE NOT GIVING OUR SON WINE AT HIS AGE!"

"Oh, why not?" France pouted, pouring it into a glass.

"Uh...like, guys?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HE'S 4! HE'S WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE DRINKING WINE!"

"Oh please, I started at three."

"We aren't giving it to him, Francis!"

The arguing continued, back and forth, back and forth. Leon couldn't get two words in. Finally he took a deep breath and shouted the first thing that came to his mind: "GUYS, I'M MOVING TO AMERICA AND BECOMING A LEGAL CITIZEN THERE!"

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!" France and England shouted. Then it dawned on them what just happened.

"LEON, MON CHER YOU'RE BACK!" France exclaimed, and hugged Leon tight.

"Uh...Yeah, Daddy..." Leon sighed.

"Sorry for fighting again, Leon," England said sheepishly. "I guess that was really childish of us, but we were just worried about you."

"Well, I'm okay now."

"Why were you talking like that anyway, mon Cher?"

"I...don't know..." Leon replied, "It just seemed so natural..."

"Weird..." France and England mused in unison.

"Maybe spending so much time with Poland brainwashed him somehow…" England stated matter-o-factly.

"I don't care how the hell he got like that, he's never going to Poland's again!" France declared.

* * *

><p>At Italy and Germany's house, the kids had sat down at the table and ate in peace, smiling and babbling to each other in Poland's language as Italy and Germany sat staring at them, too stunned for words.<p>

Finally Germany spoke up. "...Wh-What the hell just happened...?"

"I-I don't know," Italy murmured, "but all I know is that this isn't right!"

"There has to be some way to reverse this...'Poland curse'..." Germany stated.

"But what?" Italy wailed.

Germany sat and pondered for a moment, and soon stood up and hurried out of the kitchen, his gaze intent. He came back a few minutes later holding a loaded rifle.

"YOU AREN'T GOING TO SHOOT THEM ARE YOU?" Italy panicked.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm not!" He shoved the rifle into Viktor's hands and led him to the back door.

"Then...like, what are you doing?" Viktor asked.

Germany knelt in front of him. "Viktor, go out into the woods and kill a deer. After that you will be a man."

"THAT'S YOUR IDEA OF CURING HIM?" Italy shrieked.

"Relax, I'm sending the dogs out with him. And he's perfectly capable of handling a firearm."

"Like, b-but-!" Viktor tried, but Germany quickly shoved him out the door, the dogs crawling out the doggy-door to follow him.

"AND DON'T COME BACK TILL YOU HAVE A PRIZED BUCK!"

Eventually, the crunch of boots on dried leaves was heard as Viktor trudged out to the woods in the backyard.

"LUDWIG!" Italy accused.

"If he's not back in an hour, I'll look for him." Germany said simply.

"That's not the point Germany! He's still young and you just sent him out hunting!"

"He's smart, he'll be alright. In the meantime, we should focus on curing Lexi."

"NOT UNTIL MY SON IS HOME SAFE AND SOUND!" Italy protested, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Feli, relax. I've taught him how to hunt, he knows what he's doing."

"LUDWIG!"

"You can protest all you want, I'm going to do something productive and try to fix Lexi!"

Italy huffed and continued glaring angrily at Germany, who ignored him as he tried to help Lexi.

About a half out later and after several attempts by Germany to cure Lexi of her "Polanditis", there came a knocking on the back door.

Germany opened it to reveal a stoic Viktor as he dragged a buck by it's hooves to the back door. "I killed the deer," he huffed.

Germany stared. "Wow...I didn't think you'd get one this big! I'm proud of you Viktor."

Viktor glared at him slightly, then swung the dead buck over his head and hit Germany with it. "NEVER SEND ME HUNTING AGAIN!" He said, swinging the deer back outside and sitting at the table, mumbling angrily.

"Well...at least he's cured." Germany sighed, rubbing his head.

"Don't worry, Viktor," Italy comforted. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Anyway, we still have to fix Lexi," Germany continued.

"Well, can we at least try MY idea? We've tried ALL of yours!" Italy exclaimed.

"Well...I guess we have nothing left to lose."

Italy smiled and kneeled in front of Lexi, looking her square in the eyes, his expression quickly growing serious. "Lexiella, bambina, you won't have any more pasta until you stop talking like Poland."

"...OKAY~!" Lexi cheered, her bubbly smile returning.

Germany and Viktor stared at Italy. "IT WAS THAT EASY?" Germany complained. "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!"

"Because you sent me out into the woods to kill a deer," Viktor pointed out. "You'd never think of something as simple as that."

"I guess my little bambina really is Italian!" Italy giggled, pulling Lexi into his arms.

* * *

><p>A few weeks had past since the kids began talking like Poland, and they all had managed to turn back to normal…well, almost all of them.<p>

"COME ON, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE!" America exclaimed, rubbing his temples in frustration. "All the other kids went back to normal…why not Kobey?"

"How should I know?" Japan muttered tiredly.

"We've tried everything: burgers, mochi, building things, sitting under the sakura tree. There's nothing left!"

Kobey sat opposite his parents at the table, trying hard not to break the façade. He had actually gotten over his "Polandization" by himself a few weeks earlier, he just found it fun to watch his parents mess around trying to cure him. He held back a smug grin threatening to break loose at the thought that he outsmarted two of the greatest countries in existence.

"M-Maybe it'll just go away on its own!" Japan uttered.

"We can't wait that long!" America shouted. "I want my little buddy back now!" He turned to Kobey. "Come on Kobey, please go back to normal! I swear I'll do anything you want! Anything at all! Just please STOP ACTING LIKE POLAND!"

Kobey smiled. "Like, anything?"

"Yes Kobey, ANYTHING!" America continued, exasperated.

"Can you, like, get me that new tool set we saw at, like, Home Depot, like, a few weeks ago?"

"Sure! I promise!"

"Alright then, it's a deal," Kobey replied, crossing his arms triumphantly over his chest.

America and Japan paused for a minute, thinking over what just happened.

"Wait...what?" Japan questioned.

"It's a deal. I'm cured now...I actually went back to normal a few weeks ago, but it was so fun to watch you two scramble around like two chickens who lost their heads...I couldn't resist being Polandized for a little longer."

"...KOBEY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, LITTLE BUDDY?" America cried, "THAT WASN'T FAIR MAKING ME WORRY LIKE THAT!"

"Sorry..." Kobey said timidly.

"It's alright..." Japan cut in. "We're just glad you're back Kobey."

"Can we get burgers now?" Kobey asked.

America immediately perked up. "I'll pull the car around! Come on little buddy!" Kobey followed his dad out, feeling a little relieved he didn't have to keep up the charade any longer.

* * *

><p>Me: *Phew* Well, the photos are toast and I'm proud of myself for getting this posted. NOW TO WORK ON MY OTHER PROJECTS!<p>

Onilee: You have other projects?

Me: I thought I mentioned before I have like six!

Onilee: *turns to readers* See? She'll never get this done?

Me: I CAN WORK ON MULTIPLE PROJECTS AT ONCE! I CAN POST 4 MORE AND BE TOTALLY FINE!

Onilee: *cough*Liar*cough*

Me: *pulls out shotgun*

Onilee: WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE WEAPONS?

Me: I have my ways...I'm a fanfic author. MY POWER HAS NO LIMIT!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N

Me: Hey everybody! Again, sorry for the long wait. I've been busy trying to pull my grade up in geometry and my finals are coming up next week. But in all honesty I could have had this up Sunday. I blame my editor/grammar-nazi!

Onilee: Blame yourself too! I've been actually giving you support these past few weeks and you still haven't done anything!

Me: ...I HAVE A CONDITION!

Onilee: LIES! ALL LIES! DON'T BELIEVE HER! THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!

Me: *throws her into closet* UGH! The things I do...ENJOY THIS SADLY SHORT CHAPTER!

* * *

><p>Hetalia Kids Chapt. 9<p>

"It's nice we can all get out like this and talk like civilized people for more than 20 minutes!" Hungary acknowledged, sitting at the picnic table in a park with the other parents.

"I'd give it another 10," England muttered under his breath, sipping his tea.

"And it's nice that the kids could play together too!" Italy beamed, looking at the children playing together in the open field a few yards away.

"Usually by now they're killing each other," America sighed. "I guess it's just one of those peaceful days, right Kiku?" America turned to his left to find his partner missing. "Huh? Kiku, honey? Where'd you go?"

"He's over there!" Germany pointed to Japan, who was crouch inconspicuously in the bushes, jotting down various scribbles in a notebook. "What's he doing?"

"It looks like he's writing something," Austria replied. "The question is what..."

"How about we ask him?" France continued. Everyone nodded in agreement and walked over to Japan. Japan heard them approaching and quickly turned to meet them.

"Konichiwa, everyone, what is it?"

"Uh, hey Japan. We just came to ask…what is it exactly that you're doing?" England questioned.

"Research."

A momentary, confused silence fell over the group. "About what?" Hungary prodded.

"The kids' behavioral patterns. It's strange…I recently observed they act almost identically to a pack of wolves!"

Germany laughed. "Oh, come on now, Japan. Aren't you exaggerating just a little?"

"Hear me out at least!" Japan flipped back several in his pad, each covered with detailed writings. "From my observations, it seems Rebeka is the alpha-female, and Viktor is the alpha-male."

"What do you mean 'alpha'." England questioned.

"They're the strongest of the group, as well as the oldest. If there's an issue, the others turn to them for help." Japan explained, "Anyway, all the others are part of the pack, serving as underlings. Zoltan is constantly challenging Rebeka for power and authority over the pack, but Rebeka always wins and humiliates Zoltan in front of the pack."

"Tell us something we don't know." Austria huffed.

Japan ignored the comment and continued, "Lexi is the innocent pup of the group, over whom Viktor is constantly watching as to protect her from danger. Leon is the lone wolf of the pack and is constantly trying to gain status as a respected member of the pack, and attempts to do so by hitting on Lexi."

"That's my boy!" France beamed.

England thumped France on the back of the head, "I told you not to encourage him! He's to young for this sort of behavior!"

"Oh, mon cher, lighten up! He's perfectly capable of handling a relationship!"

"HE'S 5 YEARS OLD!"

"I'm very sorry to interrupt," Japan apologized, "But, I wasn't exactly finished."

"Oh, sorry Japan," England replied, "Go on."

"Thank you, Viktor, the alpha-male, finds Leon a threat and they both regularly get into fights, which Viktor always wins. As for Kobey, he's a bystander. He's respected enough by the pack because he does not to have to challenge for power and he doesn't get involved with most of the pack issues. He's content with watching events unfold. See? Pack of wolves!"

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Oh c'mon, Kiku…that's ridiculous! They're kids! Not animals!" Hungary manage to choke out.

Japan blushed and replied indignantly, "Just watch them and you'll see what I mean!"

"Alright," Austria agreed after regaining his breath. "But I doubt we'll see anything less than a group of kids messing around."

The rest of the parents say next to Kiku in the bushes and began observing the children. They were close enough to hear their conversations.

"Ouch! Rebeka!" Zoltan cried. "Why'd you hit me? What did I do?"

"You stepped on my foot!" Rebeka rebutted, fuming.

"So? That doesn't give you the right to hit me!" Zoltan puffed out his chest and glared at his sister. "Stop being such a bully!"

"Oh, you think I'M a bully?" Rebeka grinned devilishly and punched Zoltan in the gut, hard enough to make him hunch over in agony. "Now what do you think?"

Zoltan fell to his knees and clutched his stomach in pain. "You...a-aren't a bully."

"That's more like it!"

Meanwhile, as the other children were distracted by Rebeka and Zoltan's standoff, Leon-thinking he was being clever—crept closer to Lexi and attempted to hold her hand. Once he got his hand at last clasped around hers, however, she immediately squealed in surprise, kicked him in the crotch and rushed over to her brother. She hid behind him as Viktor advanced on Leon.

Leon immediately proceeded to plead his case, knowing what was coming. "I just touched her hand! I didn't kiss her or anything! Cut me a break!"

"I thought I told you to stay away from my sister you little pervert!" Viktor shouted, advancing on Leon.

"I AM NOT A PERVERT! I'm a lover! There's a difference!"

"NOT TO ME!" Viktor punched Leon hard in the chest and shoved him to the ground. Leon, feeling braver than usual, stood up again and curled his fists.

"LEON'S STANDING UP TO VIKTOR!" Rebeka shouted, as though announcing the start of a show. The kids formed a circle around the two, intently watching the battle that was about to ensue. It wasn't often Leon had the guts to stand up to Viktor, and they all knew that the results were always interesting.

The two boys began circling each, searching for each others weaknesses. Viktor was the first to lunge forward, and Leon stood his ground as Viktor tackled him to the ground. A wrestling match ensued between the two boys as the other kids watched on.

The parents watched silently until America spoke up. "You were right Kiku...this is just creepy."

"I know right?" Italy chimed in. "I had no idea children acted like such animals!"

"I guess it's in their nature." Hungary pointed out. "They aren't mature enough to talk out their solutions, so they revert to more barbaric ways of solving their problems, like fighting."

"It's a good thing we don't squabble like petty children, or this world would be a mess!" England laughed.

"You can say that again!" America replied.

"Amen!" Hungary and Austria added.

"A big mess!" Italy added.

"Total chaos!" France agreed.

"Complete and utter!" Germany stated with finality.

Japan merely rolled his eyes and continued observing the kids as Viktor arose victorious in the wrestling match with Leon.

* * *

><p>Me: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Even though it is kinda short. Hopefully I'll get up the next one after finals!<p>

Onilee: Not likely!

Me: I thought I threw you in the closet.

Onilee: You did, my squirrel army chewed me out!

Me: AGH THE DOOR IS RUINED! FUCKING SQUIRRELS!

Onilee: *gasps* Do not use such profanity in front of the squirrels! *hugs squirrels*

Me: I hate you...more than I hate my inner bitch.

Onilee: You're who?

Me: Nevermind! Final note: Okay Me Squared! I got this up before the end of May! YOU OWE ME SOME FUDGE IN AN ONILEE-PROOF CONTAINER!

Onilee: You're getting fudge? 8D

Me: NONE FOR YOU! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! *laughs evilly*

Onilee: ...You need friends...and a new hobby.


	10. Chapter 10

Me: YAY~! Chapter 10 is done and completed! I can't believe I'm in double digits now! Nor can I believe the reception I received for this fanfic! I never thought I'd get this many reviews, sure I prayed and wished, but I never thought it was possible!

Onilee: Especially since not all the pairings are 100% mainstream Hetalia pairings...

Me: Hey! They're still awesome! No one can argue that!

Onilee: MILLIONS OF FANGIRL/BOYS DO SO EVERYDAY!

Me: WELL THEN THEY CAN KISS MY ASS!

Onilee: ...Who in their right mind would wanna kiss YOUR ass?

Me: Shut up, Onilee. Well, anyway, I'd like to wish Myrna Maeve and early HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! Thanks for being an avid reviewer and supporter of this story! It's people like you that make me smile every time I put my fingers to the keys, so this chapter is dedicated to you! And as another birthday present. *snaps fingers and kids appear with flamethrowers*

Onilee: Hey! Why can't I have a flamethrower?

Me: You're the target.

Onilee: ...*runs away*

Me: GET HER!

Kids: KILL THE ANNOYING ONE! *chase after her*

Me: ENJOY~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 10<strong>

_And now we return to **Wolf Pack**, a documentary about the lives of wolves of Yellowstone National Park, only on Animal Planet. _

_When we last left these animals, the kits of the alphas had just surpassed one of their greatest early milestones in life, having celebrated their first birthday in the pack. Currently the pack is remaining closer to the den. The alphas watch over the others, while the newly matured kits stay close by. The newly matured male kit is resting in the grass, ignoring the younger female as she paws at him, pleading him to play. _

_But what's this? One of the omegas of the pack is approaching the alpha female, and he looks rather aggressive! He seems to be challenging the her. _

_The alpha female turns her attention to her defiant subordinate and growls fiercely at him. Sensing the impending fight, the alpha male leads the rest of the pack away to give the two some space. _

_The omega is the first to attack, lunging at the female and snapping his jaws; he's clearly prepared to go down fighting. The alpha female is too powerful though, she avoids the initial attack and tackles him from the side, knocking him to the ground. Despite the omega's best efforts this battle is quickly lost. He recovers from the tackle, stands and runs off in retreat. He travels about 50 yards away to nurse the wounds he accumulated from the battle. The alpha female is victorious and has kept her rightful place in the pack, and she obviously knows it. _

_In the meantime, about 100 yards away, the lone wolf that has been tailing the pack for months now watches intently. His hope is to mate with one of the females of the group and to start his own pack. He takes notice of the one-year-old she-wolf, who is distracted by a butterfly._

_The lone wolf also takes notice that the alpha male is close by, watching over her like a hawk. He knows he can't get close to the female without invoking the wrath of the alpha. _

_He waits patiently, as the female follows the butterfly farther and farther away from the pack. Soon she is a safe distance from the alpha male, and the lone wolf decides it's time to make his move. _

_He slowly approaches the young female so as not to frighten her, and eventually she takes notice that he is there. She freezes, waiting for him to make the first move, testing to see if he is friend or foe. The lone wolf creeps even closer and begins the first steps of the mating process. _

_The young female panics, turns and rushes towards her pack, yipping loudly to alert the others. The lone wolf makes his first mistake by chasing after her._

_The alpha male is the first to realize the danger and leaps into action. He rushes towards the two and cuts in between them, allowing the young female to escape and stopping the lone wolf dead in his tracks. _

_He growls furiously and assumes the attack position. He hesitates, though, giving the lone wolf the chance to run. The lone wolf makes his second mistake and also prepares for battle by baring his teeth, showing that he will fight for his prize. The rest of the pack surrounds the two adversaries, watching, waiting to see who rises victorious. The alpha is much bigger than the lone wolf, and better nourished. The chances of the lone wolf winning are a million to won, yet he stands his ground._

_The alpha quickly sets upon the lone wolf, biting and snapping at him without mercy. The lone wolf attempts to fight back, but fails miserably as the alpha tears at him. The pack howls, seemingly cheering for their alpha. _

_As by stroke of sheer luck, the lone wolf manages to scratch the alpha in his eye, Temporarily blinded, he lets up on his seemingly endless barrage of bites, and unintentionally gives the lone wolf the chance to escape, which he takes without hesitation. _

_The alpha snarls as the lone wolf escapes. It is not likely that he will let the pariah close to the pack anytime soon. The alpha returns to the pack to make sure everyone is okay. _

_The alpha female diligently protects the other wolves. The omega who had challenged her shortly before, is keeping his distance, but is still close enough to be seen. The one-year old male is napping on a rock, entire disinterested in what is going on and seemingly aloof. The young female who was chased has recovered quickly from her initial fright and is playing in the stream. _

_The alpha male proudly climbs atop a small hill and continues his diligent watch over the pack. _

"Tomorrow, they shall hunt, but for today they shall rest..." An overly-posh British voice concluded.

"...This seems familiar..." Rebeka stated, as the show faded and the commercials began.

"Oh thank God, it's not just me." Zoltan sighed in relief. "I mean, that alpha female was a total bully, beating up that poor omega!"

"She wasn't a bully!" Rebeka argued. "She just new what she wanted and acted on it! That omega was an idiot! He shouldn't have fought a losing battle!"

"I liked that little female!" Lexi beamed. "She was so adorable! Especially when she was chasing that butterfly! Too bad that lone wolf spooked her…she was too young to mate anyway!"

"I feel like I know all those wolves," Viktor added. "I can totally identify with the alpha male, trying to protect the young female of the pack from some crazed lone wolf."

"Hey! The alpha male was a jerk!" Leon interjected. "The lone wolf was just lonely! All he wanted was a mate so he could start his own pack!"

"Well he shouldn't have tried to go after a young defenseless female! Lone wolves should live and die alone because that's all they're good for: nothing at all!"

"That's not true! Every pack started with a lone wolf! And one day that lone wolf will mate that female and start his pack!"

Viktor glared at Leon and hissed, "Lone wolves should be careful about what they do, because alpha's are always watching their packs and ALWAYS ready to defend them if necessary."

"ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING?" Leon accused.

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not!" Viktor shrugged, still glaring at Leon.

"I liked that young male..." Kobey cut in, trying to prevent a fight in his living room. "He was smart and kept his nose out of other wolves' business. That way he didn't have to fight with anyone and got through the day totally unharmed."

Leon and Viktor ignored him.

"Look, if you are insinuating that I should stay away from Lexi you can forget it!"

"Oh yeah?" Viktor challenged.

"YEAH!"

"And the lone wolf makes his third mistake of the day..." Kobey huffed, as the two began throwing punches at each other.

* * *

><p>Me: I highly doubt any of you expected that I'd take that joke THAT FAR...well, I did. And i don't regret it!<p>

Onilee: *screams from other room*

Me: Yup, they're still after her. *shouts* THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY FUDGE!

Onilee: CALLTHEMOFFCALLTHEMOFF! CALL THEM OOOOOOOFF!

Me: NOT UNTIL MIDNIGHT ON MYRNA'S REAL BIRTHDAY...IN THREE DAYS!

Onilee: WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE MY HATRED FOR YOU!

Me: Kids, time for the BAZOOKAS!

Onilee: Overkill! Overkill! OVERKILL!

Me: *to readers* Until next time! Read. Follow. REVIEW~!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N

Me: Hi guys! Jeez, I've had a hectic last few weeks. But I finally managed to write Chapter 11 of Hetalia Kids!

Onilee: *laughs* Rough? Is watching Futurama nonstop for the last few weeks your idea of ROUGH?

Me: *pulls out chainsaw* Do you REALLY want me to have to use this again?

Onilee: HAHAHA! You killed me last chapter and I respawned. I CAN NEVER DIE! Anyway, don't you have to introduce someone? *indicates person sitting in corner, eating Hersey Kisses*

Me: Oh, almost forgot! Readers, this is my Grammar-Nazi/Editor, AkiraWolfWriter888! She looks over every chapter I post and eliminates my terrible writing!

Onilee: If you thought this was shit before, you should see the original copies!

Akira: *waves enthusiastically* Hello, lovely readers! Thanks so much for clicking on this fic!

Onilee: Why're you thanking them? Don't you get bored correcting this bullshit?

Akira: Uh, no. Not really...in fact, as a Grammar-Nazi, it's my job to RID THE WHOLE DESECRATED WORLD OF EVERY SINGLE MISSPELLING AND IMPROPER USE OF A COMMA EVER!

Me&Onilee: 0_e

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 11<strong>

"Dad, you missed the crescendo again."

"What? No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!" Zoltan accused, pointing to the sheet music in front of him and his father. "It's right there in the bridge and you totally blew past it! You always do!"

"You just don't have the trained musical ears that come with years of practice, son," Austria replied, grinning smugly.

"You still missed it," Zoltan muttered.

"I heard that! And if you think you can play it better, play it!" Austria stood from the piano bench and stepped to the side, gesturing broadly with feigned anger toward the piano.

"Alright then, I will!" He took his fathers place at the piano and began to play, pressing on the keys with force, trying to illustrate his point clearly.

"Zoltan, stop it! You're hurting the piano!" Austria scolded harshly. "You know full well that the piano is a person too, and she needs to be treated with kindness and respect!"

"Sorry..." Zoltan responded, suddenly sheepish. "But you did miss the crescendo," Zoltan pointed out.

Austria sighed heavily. "How about we just both play this piece?" He suggested.

"...Sure." Zoltan scooted over to make room for his dad, and they both began to play-each one keeping the other in check, making sure the song flowed smoothly. The classical music wafted through the halls of the house, filling it with Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata'. It seemed to hang in the air, lingering around, bringing an eerie surreal feeling into the space

The music even carried outside, where Hungary and Rebeka were tending to the flower garden. For once Rebeka was not fighting with Zoltan and she was enjoying herself. She always liked the time she spent with her mother in the garden, surrounded by nothing but colorful buds and cool, fresh air.

"Look mom! The edelweiss are in bloom!" Rebeka pointed to the patch of white flowers.

"So they are," Hungary smiled. "They always look their best this time of year. They really bring the garden together." She plucked one of the delicate flowers from the ground.

Rebeka nodded. "I always like it best here in springtime. All the flowers are in bloom, and everything seems so fresh and clean."

"It does, doesn't it?" Hungary responded, plucking the stem off the edelweiss.

"What are you doing?" Rebeka asked curiously, turning to her.

"Making a present for you," Hungary said simply, tucking the flower behind Rebeka's ear. "See? It suits you!"

Rebeka lightly stroked the petals. "Really? You mean it?"

"Of course I do!"

Rebeka grinned. "Now I have one like yours!" She indicated the pink flower in Hungary's hair. "But...won't it wilt?"

"When it does, you can pick another one, and when that one wilts, you can pick another. And when winter comes, I'll plant some in a flowerbox inside."

Rebeka wrapped her arms around Hungary's waist. "Thanks, Mom!"

Hungary giggled and hugged her back. "No problem."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Mom? Can I ask you a question?" Kobey asked, sitting next to Japan under the sakura trees in their backyard, watching as the pale pink blossoms fell from the branches and scattered themselves in the grass.<p>

"Kobey, for the last time, stop calling me 'Mom'," Japan corrected tiredly. "And what is it?"

"What do you think about when we're together like this? I mean, you always look so thoughtful, I guess."

Japan contemplated the question for a moment, and slowly closed his eyes. "I think about a lot of things: I think about my country, I think about your father, I think about what we're going to do on our next vacation, and I think about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah...you've grown up faster than I thought. You're almost seven and you're more mature than your father."

"It's not that hard to be more mature than Dad," Kobey pointed out.

Japan chuckled. "I guess you're right…but still, I never thought you'd get so old so fast. I'm just glad I'll still have you around for a few more years. Before you know it you'll be all grown up and moving out. Just thinking about it makes me feel old."

"You are old," Kobey stated.

Japan opened his eyes and stared at Kobey. "...Thanks, Kobey." He responded sarcastically.

Kobey smiled contentedly, and changed the subject, "It is really peaceful when it's like this, though. It's all pretty...surreal."

"Yes, it is. That's why I treasure times like this a lot. We don't get to sit and relax like this often."

"Hey! Guys! Dinner's here!" America called enthusiastically from inside the house. "I ordered Chinese!"

Japan and Kobey stood up and walked towards the house.

"Hey, Mom? Let's do this again tomorrow."

"That sounds like fun, Kobey."

* * *

><p>"Leon, mon cher! I have something for you!"<p>

"I'm in my room, Daddy!" Leon shouted from his bed. France walked into the room, and sat down next to Leon, who asked, "What do you have for me?"

France took a deep breath. "Leon, you're seven years old now, and I think you're old enough to have something that was given to me a long time ago. It's very special, so you have to take extra special care with it. Promise?"

"I promise, daddy! What is it?"

France tugged at a chain around his neck, and removed a cross-shaped pendant that was tucked underneath his shirt. "This belonged to a wonderful woman named St. Jeanne d'Arc."

"This belonged to Jeanne?" Leon exclaimed, staring at the silver cross. "I remember her…she saved you in The Hundred Years' War when you almost lost everything. You used to tell me all about her!"

France smiled and wrapped an arm around Leon's shoulder. "She was a very important person to me, that's why. She gave me this cross before she died, and promised that she'd watch over me in heaven."

"A-And you're giving it to me? Why?"

France placed the necklace around Leon's neck. "Because as long as you wear it, Jeanne will always be there for you when you need her. She'll always watch over you too."

Leon looked down at the trinket dangling around his neck and smiled. "Thanks, Daddy! I promise, I'll take extra special care of it!"

France smiled and hugged his son. "I'm glad."

* * *

><p>"Alright, Viktor, let's start working with hand-to-hand combat," Germany began, as they stood in their backyard, facing each other. "I'm going to come at you with some simple punches and kicks. Your job is to either deflect my attacks, or counter them with some of your own. I won't hold back, so neither should you."<p>

Viktor held up his fists. "Got it! Ready when you are!"

Germany immediately aimed a jab at Viktor's chest. The young boy just barely dodged the attacked and rallied with a swift kick to Germany's side. Germany staggered but recovered almost immediately and began a succession of quick punches. Viktor managed to keep pace, deflecting the blows to the side and occasionally getting the opening he needed to counter-attack Germany.

"Good, good!" Germany stated, continuing his offense. "You can't keep this up forever, though. You have to look for the perfect opening and attack with full force before your opponent can tire you out!"

"Right!" Viktor quickly landed a roundhouse kick to Germany's stomach.

Germany was pushed back, and nearly lost his balance at the sudden force of Viktor's kick. Not taking any chances, Viktor punched Germany across the face, causing him to fall to the ground.

Germany smiled and stood up. "Great job! You're getting stronger everyday. Someday I'm not going to be able to take your punches so easily."

"At least then training would be more interesting," Viktor stated.

"Well, if you want to get to that point you're going to have to work pretty hard. Now give me twenty laps around the house!" Viktor nodded eagerly and began to jog around the corner of the house.

Inside, Lexi was standing on top of a chair at the kitchen counter, helping Italy with his homemade pasta, which the family would be eating for dinner that night. Both of them were smiling brightly despite being covered in flower and oil.

"Now just turn the crank and pasta will come out the other end!" Italy explained in his usual cheery way.

"Okay!" Lexi beamed, turning the handle.

"Keep it at a steady pace," Italy said, guiding Lexi's hand. "That way it all comes out nice and even!"

"I-It's harder than it looks!" Lexi huffed, pushing on the crank.

"But it's worth it to have yummy pasta, right?" Italy pressed.

"Of course it is!" Lexi giggled.

"You're doing great, bambina!" Italy praised. "I'm glad I have a helper like you around!"

"Thanks, Mommy!" Lexi finally finished cranking the dough through the pasta maker.

"Now go get the tomatoes, and then we can start on the sauce!"

Lexi hopped down from her perch on the chair, and scurried over by the sink, where the tomatoes lay in a bowl, washed carefully and ready to be sliced. She carefully picked up the bowl and balanced it in her arms, carrying it over to the co/unter.

"I love making pasta with you!" Lexi exclaimed, hugging Italy's waist after he'd taken the tomatoes from her hands. "You think one day I can make it all by myself?"

Italy smiled brightly, and patted Lexi's head. "Of course you can! Once you're older you can cook pasta for the whole family!"

"Yay~! I can't wait! I'm gonna make the best pasta in the world, just for you!"

Italy knelt down next to Lexi and gathered her into a tight hug. "I'm looking forward to it, la mia bambina preziosa."

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Hope you enjoyed the chapter~! I know there wasn't much comedy, but I felt like doing a little pointless fluff.

Onilee: This story is pointless. =_=

Akira: Well, not that this chapter's finished...*pulls out whip* START TYPING WRITING-MONKEY! AND GIMME SOMETHING INTERESTING!

Me: But-!

Akira: *cracks whip* TYPE. NOW!

Onilee: *hides behind my leg*

Me: *pulls out phone and starts typing frantically* Please, follow, favorite and review my readers... *whispers* Or else she'll kill me. 0_e


	12. Chapter 12

A/N

Me: Hey guys! If you were disappointed there was only mindless fluff in the last chapter, then be disappointed no longer! We have comedy galore in this one!

Onilee: Good, the fluff gave me diabetes.

Me: Yay! So you liked it?!

Onilee: What makes you think that?! I HAVE DIABETES! I CAN'T EAT AS MUCH FUDGE AS I WANT ANYMORE! YOU RUINED ME!

Me: But...isn't that slang for it's really cute and you liked it?

Onilee: How can anything pertaining to diabetes be ANYTHING good?!

Me: But-! ...Nevermind, just enjoy this chapter about the Kid's pets!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 12<strong>

"Rebeka! Zoltan! Could you come in the kitchen for a minute?" Hungary called from the bottom of the stairs.

The twins, who had just woken up, stretched and yawned as they walked downstairs, still in their pajamas. When they reached the kitchen, Hungary and Austria were sitting at the breakfast table, on the which a large and unmarked box had been set. Zoltan pointed to the mysterious object. "What's in the box?"

"Why don't you open it up?" Hungary smiled. "It's an early birthday present."

"Step aside," Rebeka commanded, shoving Zoltan to the side. "I'm the oldest, so I open the first birthday present!"

"We never agreed to that rule!" Zoltan interjected just as Rebeka was lifting the lid off the box. The moment she did so, all at once a ball of brown fur came rushing out of the box, tackling Rebeka to the ground.

"Rebeka?!" Austria exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Rebeka slowly sat up, rubbing the back of her head. "What hit me?" she asked, her questioned answered a second later when she looked down at the brown bundle currently situated in her lap.

"Oh my God it's a puppy!" Zoltan shouted, kneeling next to Rebeka as the pup began to lick her face.

Rebeka eyed the energetic creature for a moment. "It's not a puppy! It's a Vizsla, you idiot!"

Zoltan rolled his eyes. "It's a dog Rebeka!"

"Yes! But it's a special dog because it's a Vizsla!" she replied, wrapping her arms around their new pet.

"That Vizsla has a name you know," Hungary laughed. "Look at his collar."

Rebeka grabbed the collar to get a better look at the tag. "Mozart," She read aloud. "His name is Mozart?"

"We picked it because we knew you two would fight over what to name it," Austria explained. "And I thought it suited him."

"I love it!" Zoltan cried, petting Mozart's head.

"Now you two," Hungary started, "we got you this dog because you're old enough to take care of it and we hope it'll teach you responsibility."

"And hopefully a dog will distract you from your constant bickering." Austria mumbled, then yelped a bit when Hungary kicked him from under the table.

"So, you'll have to feed him, clean him, walk him, play with him, and make sure he doesn't dig up the garden," Hungary continued. "You think you can handle it?"

"Of course we can, Mom!" Zoltan responded with excitement.

"Yeah, don't worry!" Rebeka smiled devilishly. "He'll be a model dog after I-we're done with him." Mozart began to lick Rebeka's face. 'I've got a few tricks to teach you, Mozart,' she thought.

Several days later, it was Zoltan's turn with the piano and he was taking full advantage of his time. 'Maybe later, I can play some Mozart for the dog!' Zoltan mused. 'I'll bet he'll love it!'

"Hey Zoltan!" Rebeka called from her room, in an unsettling sing-song voice. "Can you come here a minute? I think Mozart wants to PLAY with you!"

Zoltan, eager and making the mistake of not reading into her tone, hopped off the piano bench. "Coming!" He walked into Rebeka's room to find her sitting on her bed, her knees tucked under her chin, and Mozart on the ground in front of her, growling ferociously at him.

"See? He's so happy to see you!" Rebeka giggled.

"Rebeka?" Zoltan questioned nervously, taking a step away from the dog. "What did you do to Mozart?"

"Oh nothing much…I taught him a few tricks! Sit, roll over, shake hands, hunt down your scent, and bark on command!"

"You trained him to hunt my scent?!" Zoltan cried in disbelief.

"And attack it too!" She beamed.

"Rebeka, this isn't funny!" Zoltan shouted, taking a few more steps out of the room as Mozart only moved closer, hackles raised.

"Oh, relax…I won't let him kill you. He'll just gnaw on your legs for a bit and I'll call him off!"

"Not cool!" Zoltan called over his shoulder as he bolted from the room. "Not cool at all!"

Mozart dashed after him, growling and snapping at his ankles. Zoltan rushed down the hall and into his parents' room, where they were reading and attempting to enjoy the momentary peace.

"Mom! Dad! Help!" Zoltan pleaded as he dashed to the foot of their bed. "Rebeka did something to the dog and now it's trying to kill me!"

"What are you talking about?" Austia responded. "He's just sitting peacefully by the door waiting for you to play with him."

Zoltan turned to see Mozart sitting by the door, panting happily. He yipped lightly as though asking for attention. "But-!"

"No buts!" Hungary sighed, putting her BL novel down. "Now go and play with that dog!"

"Mom!"

"You heard your mother, go!" Austria added, pointing at the door.

Zoltan, having little choice, walked slowly towards the door and tiptoed around the dog, who had his eyes glued on him. The minute Zoltan was a few feet away—conveniently well out of his parents' earshot-Mozart began the chase again.

Zoltan knew he had to move to higher ground fast if he was to survive. He ran for the first place he thought of, scrambling into the piano room. He jumped on top of bench, just high enough that Mozart couldn't reach him. The dog barked loudly at Zoltan, angry that his prey had avoided him.

Zoltan stepped further back on the bench to avoid the dogs snapping jaws, and felt it wobble under him, as he swung his arms around trying to keep balance. Just as he was about to tumble off, though, he grabbed the piano to steady himself and accidentally hit some of the keys.

Mozart immediately fell silent and tilted his head to the side inquisitively. Zoltan looked from the instrument to the now hushed dog, and back to the piano. An idea formed in his mind.

"You like music…don't you, boy?" He chuckled at the dog. Mozart ruffed in response. "I'll take that as a yes!" He slowly crouched, careful to keep his feet off the ground where Mozart couldn't bite them. "Maybe you'd like something by your namesake, huh, boy?"

With that, he began to play one of the original Mozart's symphonies. The puppy sat quietly on the ground and listened intently to the music. Zoltan soon felt comfortable enough to put his feet down to reach the pedals and continued to play. Mozart soon moved to sit next to the piano bench, watching as his master's fingers danced across the keys. He even lifted a paw and attempted to reach the keys.

"Aw, you wanna play too, boy?" Zoltan helped Mozart sit next to him on the bench. Mozart immediately pawed curiously at the keys, looking a little shocked at the noises they made. "See? You're a natural!"

Rebeka, wondering why her brother wasn't screaming at her to call off the dog, wandered into the piano room to see Zoltan guiding Mozart's paws across the piano.

"What did you do to my perfect dog?!" she yelled.

"Nothing!" Zoltan explained. "He just likes music even better than your stupid training!"

"This is so unfair!" Rebeka stamped her foot. "I thought I finally found a partner in crime!"

"Guess I won this time!" Zoltan smirked.

"Oh, no you didn't! This isn't the end, Zoltan! I will have my revenge!" she proclaimed melodramatically as she stormed out of the room.

"Well, now that the witch is gone…" Zoltan turned to Mozart. "Let's see if we can make you the next 'Keyboard Cat'."

"He's a dog, smart one!" Rebeka shouted from her room.

"You know what I mean!"

* * *

><p>"Mommy, daddy, I've put a lot of thought into asking this and I was wondering...can I please have a kitty? Pleeeeeeease?" Lexi begged her parents from across the table, putting on her best puppy dog eyes.<p>

"Absolutely not," Germany instantly replied. "We don't need another animal in the house, and you already have three dogs."

"No I don't!" Lexi whined. "The dogs like Viktor better than me!"

"Lexi, quit being ridiculous. The dogs love you!" Germany huffed. Lexi promptly pointed at the dogs, who were all lying under the table at Viktor's feet. "Well...just because they sit around Viktor doesn't mean they like him better."

"It does too! Viktor has the dogs! Why can't I have a pet too?"

"Cats are useless, Lexi," Viktor stated. "They can't protect you, they don't fetch or hunt, and they go in a box."

"So?!" Lexi cried indignantly. "I can cuddle with a little kitten and it can hunt the mice in the basement and I'll clean the litter box!"

"There's mice in the basement?" Viktor questioned.

"They've been there a while Viktor," Italy said, "They're becoming a bit of an issue."

"It doesn't matter!" Germany interrupted. "I'm not getting you a cat, and that's final."

Lexi hung her head, knowing that when her daddy made up his mind, there was no changing it. "Okay...may I be excused?"

"Of course, Lexi," Italy smiled kindly.

Lexi trudged up to her room and sat on her bed. "It's not fair," she mumbled into her pillow. "Viktor and dad get the dogs and what am I left with?"

"Lexi?" Italy said as he walked into Lexi's room. "Bambina?"

Lexi raised her head. "Yes, Mommy?"

Italy kneeled next to her bed. "I know how badly you want a cat, and to be honest, I'd like one too."

"Really?"

Italy nodded. "It's been a long time since my last kitty died, and I think it's time we got a new one."

"You don't mean-!"

Italy beamed at Lexi. "I can deal with your dad later. One of Greece's cats just had kittens, and I don't think he'd mind if we took one."

Lexi flung her arms around Italy's neck. "Oh, thank you, Mommy! Thank youthankyouthankyou!"

"Get your shoes on! I'll drive!" Minutes later, they both climbed into Italy's Fiat and drove off to Greece's house.

It didn't take long to get there, considering Italy had no idea such a thing called a "stoplight" existed, and Greece was happy to let them in.

"Just take your pick," he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "They're all in the corner."

"Thank you, Mr. Greece!" Lexi giggled as she skipped to the corner where the tiny kittens were huddled around their mother, sleeping peacefully.

Lexi sat down next to them and looked over each tiny cat carefully. Some were gray, some where a rusty orange with white paws, and some were purely white, but one stood out against the rest: a little calico, snuggling against her mother. Lexi carefully scooped the kitten into her hands and held it close. The kitten purred in her arms and nuzzled up against her as she gently stroked the multicolored fur on its head.

"This one," Lexi stated with assurance. "I want this little kitty."

"Aww, she's a cutie, Lexi!" Italy exclaimed, rubbing the kitten's ears.

"I'm going to call her Patches." The cat mewed in response, and Lexi knew she had chosen the right name.

"Let's get her home. I'll smooth things over with your dad," Italy said, helping Lexi to her feet.

"Thanks, Mommy..."

When they got home, Germany was standing at the front door, ready to greet them. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, nowhere." Italy giggled.

"Feli, where did you take Lexi?" Germany pressed, already expecting the worst.

"Well, one of Greece's cats just had kittens and he has to give a few away. So Lexi and I seized the opportunity!" Italy explained.

Germany put his head in his hands. "You caved and got her a kitten, didn't you?"

"Her name's Patches!" Lexi smiled, lifting up the now-awake kitten for her father to see. "Don't worry, Daddy! I promise I'll take good care of her! She'll be my kitty, and you won't have to worry about her at all! Promise!"

"Just...go inside, Lexi. We'll deal with the cat later," Germany huffed.

Lexi dashed inside still holding Patches close. "We're gonna be best friends!" She told her kitten.

"I knew it! I knew mom would cave at get you that useless cat!" Lexi turned to see Viktor sitting in a chair, with the dogs still at sitting beneath him.

"She's not useless! She's soft and cute and she likes me!"

"But a cat can't protect you from creeps like Leon!" Viktor pointed out.

"But you always protect me from Leon! So Patches doesn't have to!" Lexi

challenged.

"Cats aren't even that interesting! All they do is sit around all day, they're no fun at all."

While the two went back and forth, Patches had struggled to escape Lexi's grasp. Lexi put her down, too engrossed with her argument to notice where the cat went. Patches made her way towards the three large dogs at Viktor's feet. Their ears perked up and they stared at the little kitten, wondering whether she was friend or foe.

One of the dogs growled at Patches, baring its teeth. On instinct, Patches swiped at its nose with her claws extended. The much larger animal whimpered and backed off as Patches approached the three of them. The other dogs, learning from their comrade's mistake, backed up as well until they were pinned against the wall. Patches calmly lay down in front of them, watching them intently for any movement.

"I'll show you a dog is better than a cat," Viktor assured Lexi, finishing up their quarrel. They both turned to see the dogs backed up against the wall, staring down at the cat, looking almost terrified of it. "What the-?!"

"HA! See? Cat's aren't useless!" She knelt down and scooped up Patches. "Come on Patches, there's milk in the fridge with your name on it!"

* * *

><p>Leon was sitting in his room, reading some of the 'educational' magazines France had snuck past England for him, when a knocking came at the door.<p>

"Leon! It's me!" England called from outside. "Can I come in?"

"Just a minute!" Leon called back, hastily shoving the magazine in the crack between his bed and the wall. He opened the door to let England in. "What is it?"

"I have a surprise for you…close your eyes." Leon quickly obeyed, hearing what he recognized as the swish of moving water. "Okay, you can open them now!"

Leon opened his eyes and saw a round fishbowl in on his bedside table, with a goldfish swimming happily inside.

"You got me a fish!" Leon shouted excitedly, watching the fish dance through the water in its bowl.

"I thought you'd like a pet, and fish are easy to take care of." England replied, smiling with fatherly pride at his son's joy.

"It's perfect! Thanks, dad!" He quickly hugged his had and turned to the little orange creature again. "I'm gonna call you Finn!"

'Finn? I thought he had more imagination than that," England thought.

"Hey Finn!" Leon continued speaking to the goldfish. "I'm Leon!"

'Hi Leon!' a voice rang out.

Leon whipped his head around but saw no one but England. "Uh...Dad? Did you say something?"

"No, I didn't…you okay Leon?" England asked worriedly.

"Oh no, I'm fine. It was nothing." Leon turned back to the fishbowl, somewhat mystified.

'I said that, Leon!' The voice rang out again. 'It's me! Finn!'

"Finn? That was you?" Leon said in disbelief.

"Leon, are you talking to your fish?"

"Shh! Dad! Finn is trying to talk to me! Sorry about him. Go on."

'Uh...can your dad leave?' Finn continued. 'I'm a little uncomfortable talking to you with him here.'

"Dad, could you please leave? You're making Finn uncomfortable."

"...Sure Leon, I'll leave." England hesitantly nodded, leaving the room. "He's talking to his fish. That's a bad sign right?" He turned for a moment back toward his boy, who seemed surprisingly unfazed by the fact that he could telepathically communicate with his fish.

'Maybe he should get out more,' Flying Mint Bunny suggested. 'Making real friends would be good for him!'

"You're absolutely right, Flying Mint Bunny!"

"And there he goes again," France sighed to himself as he walked by England, who was seemingly talking to himself again.

Meanwhile, back in Leon's room, Finn and Leon were busy getting better aquatinted.

'So, do you have a crush on anyone?' Finn started.

"Well...I do like this one girl a lot...her name is Lexi."

'Tell me everything! And don't skimp on any details!'

"Well she's a year younger than I am, she's got brown hair and hazel eyes, she likes pasta, and she's the cutest thing you will ever see!"

'Then why don't you ask her out?'

"I try! But every time I try to get close to her, her jerk of an older brother beats me up!"

'Don't give up Leon! If you really like her, you shouldn't give up on her just because her brother doesn't approve! Keep fighting!'

"You know what? You're right, Finn! I'm going to fight for her and I swear, with God as my witness, one day I WILL become Lexi's boyfriend!"

'Why stop at boyfriend? Doesn't husband sound better?'

"Oh, to dare to dream!"

'But wouldn't it be wonderful?'

"Of course it would! I'd love nothing more, but I can't get ahead of myself. I'm going to start with boyfriend, and move onto husband afterward!"

'You can do it Leon! I believe in you!'

"You know what, Finn? I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Dad? Mom? Can I ask you two a question?" Kobey looked at his two parents sitting at the breakfast table, sipping coffee.<p>

"What is it, little buddy?"

"Well, I was walking around some old nuclear power factories and I found a dog. I was wondering if I could keep him."

"Stop calling me 'Mom', and you found a dog by the nuclear power factories?" Japan asked, concern already brewing in his tone.

"Yeah, can I keep him? Please?"

"Uh...sure, I guess. Where's the dog?"

"He's in the hall! I'll go get him! GILROY! Come here boy!"

"You named it Gilroy, little buddy?"

"I thought it suited him! Oh, there he is! Come on over, boy! I want you to meet my parents!"

America and Japan fell silent as the "dog" hobbled into the room.

"Kobey...what is that?" Japan pointed a quivering finger at Gilroy.

"It's Gilroy! He's a dog!"

"Little buddy...I don't think that's a dog."

"What? Of course he is! He's the right size! He's got the ears, and the paws!"

"Little buddy, that thing's got three eyes and no ass. I seriously doubt it's a dog."

"Stop it! You're hurting his feelings! It's not his fault nuclear radiation screwed him up! He's just a puppy!"

"Little buddy, it can't crap without an ass. How do you think it's going to survive?"

"I'll take care of him! I've been working on some genetic engineering projects! Maybe I can fix him!"

"Kobey, I don't think you can fix him. I think it's best we put Gilroy down."

"What?! No! You can't!"

"Look at him, little buddy. The poor guy can hardly breathe! I swear it's about to cough up a lung and maybe its gallbladder. We might as well make it quick and peaceful."

"No! I won't let you!" Kobey hugged Gilroy, who began wheezing and twitching. "It's okay boy…you'll be okay."

Japan got up and put his hand on Kobey's shoulder. "It's for the best and you know it."

Kobey wiped his eyes. "Will he be happy?"

"Trust me, anything is better than living with no goddamn ass, little buddy."

"Okay..." Kobey sadly relented.

"I'll take care of it." America began to lead the dog out of the room.

"Wait! Just let me say goodbye!" Kobey pleaded.

"Okay, little buddy."

Kobey wrapped his arms around what was most likely once Gilroy's neck. "Sorry I couldn't help you, Gilroy…you'll be going to a better place now, where you don't have to worry about fleas or nuclear radiation ever again. Be a good dog now." Kobey slowly tore himself from Gilroy as he left.

The next day Kobey trudged to the breakfast table, still mourning the loss of his poor dog Gilroy.

"Kobey, we know you're still upset about Gilroy," Japan began, "so we got you a little something."

America pulled a covered square-ish object out from under the table. "Little buddy, say hello to your new lab rat." He ripped away the sheet to reveal a white rat that was scampering towards the edge of its cage to see Kobey.

Kobey's eyes instantly lit up. "You got me a rat!" He grabbed the cage. "This is just what I needed! Thanks, you guys!" He quickly hugged them and turned to the rat. "I'm going to call you Pinky and I have just the experiment to test on you!" With that, he rushed out of the kitchen and into his room.

"Well, he seems to like it." Japan smiled.

"I wonder what experiment he was going to try on it." America scratched his head.

Later that night, inside Kobey's room, Pinky scurried across the desk as Kobey tapped away at his laptop.

Pinky looked up at his master. "Gee Kobey, what are we gonna do tonight?"

"The same thing we'll do every night, Pinky," Kobey replied solemnly, scratching Pinky's head. "Try to avenge Gilroy's death!"

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Hope you guys enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it! Seriously, this was a fun chapter to write and I spent all last night typing it so you all better appreciate it...no seriously, YOU BETTER!

Onilee: Don't worry, deep down she knows you don't. Just humor her so she doesn't kill me.

Me: ...*holds up fudge* You see this Onilee? A brick of pure chocolate fudge.

Onilee: 0_0 GIMME! NOW!

Me: *quickly handcuffs her to a bolted down chair* No, because your such a pain, you're going to watch me eat this...and I'll be sure to savor it REAL slowly.

Onilee: I RESPAWNED TO ENJOY THIS TORTURE?! I COULD'VE BEEN REINCARNATED AS A TURTLE BY NOW!

Me: ...Why a turtle?

Onilee: I like turtles, you got something against them?

Me: ...No. I love them.

Onilee: Oh, then I'm going to be reincarnated as a turtle-eater. :D

Me: ...You're the worst kind of person. Anyway, until next time! FOLLOW, FAVORITE AND REVIEW!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N

Me: *sitting on couch, watching TV* Oh, Detective Benson, is there anything you can't do?

Onilee: Hey! Lazy ass! Shouldn't you be, oh I don't know, WRITING A CHAPTER OR SOMETHING?

Me: It's done.

Onilee: I know you have MEPS, but that excuse is getting...wait, what?

Me: You heard me. It's done.

Onilee: ...Then, why aren't you posting it?! LAZY ASS!

Me: I am. *ahem* Hello there readers! We're back, and earlier than usual I might add! I know, I'm surprised too! Anyway, this Chapter is about our favorite little romantic Leon and his many exploits in trying to get Lexi to like him. ENJOY~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 13<strong>

_Leon's Mission Log_

_April 17_

_Today is the day I'm finally going to get Lexi to like me! This plan is _

_foolproof! I don't know why I didn't come up with it 189 attempts ago! The sure-fire way to a girl's heart is flowers…more specifically, roses! I'm going to get Lexi a basket of roses and put my picture in the basket, so she'll know who it's from. Then she'll be so happy I got her such a thoughtful and selfless gift that she'll repay me by going on a date with me! It's so simple! _

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Leon was striding confidently up to the front stoop of Lexi's house, a large basket of red roses in tow. 'She'll never accept it if I give it to her directly,' he thought. 'I'll just ring the doorbell, leave it here, and hide in the bushes! It's genius!'<p>

He placed the basket on the welcome mat, making sure the tag reading 'To Lexi' was clearly visible. Then he rang the doorbell, scampered to hide in the bushes next to the door, and waited with bated breath.

As if by sheer stroke of luck, it was Lexi who answered the door.

"Roses!" she exclaimed, hurriedly picking up the basket and reading the tag. "And they're for me? Yay~!"

Leon grinned at his triumph. 'Now, all she has to do is find the picture and she'll know it's from me!'

Soon enough, as Lexi looked into the basket more thoroughly, she uncovered the hidden photograph. It showed an unsettling but not unfamiliar image of Leon, blowing a kiss towards the camera and winking. She stood in silence for a moment, staring at the picture.

'Does that mean she likes what she sees?' Leon wondered hopefully.

Lexi turned and shouted into the house. "Viktor! Leon sent me a basket of roses! What do I do with them?"

A voice responded with a shout, "Bring them in the kitchen! We'll run them through the garbage disposal!"

"Isn't that a little harsh?" Lexi called back.

"Lexi, when you're dealing with perverts like him you have to send a message! While we're at it, let's burn the basket!"

"Viktor! You're taking it too far again!" Lexi whined.

"Fine, we won't burn the basket! But we're still destroying the flowers."

"What about the picture?"

"Wait...he put a picture in there?!" Viktor appeared in the front door and grabbed the photo from Lexi, staring at it with a furious intensity. "We'll feed this to the dogs! I'm sure they'd like some tender meat anyway…" He proclaimed, grabbing the basket and storming into the house.

Lexi sighed and followed her brother inside.

Leon let his body slump in defeat as he lifted himself up from the shelter of the bushes and sadly made his way home, 'At least I didn't get pounded this time,' he reminded himself.

**Mission Failed. **

* * *

><p><em>Leon's Mission Log <em>

_April 18 _

_Okay, so the basket of roses plan didn't turn out so good. But at least she liked them at first and I didn't have to limp home! This next plan should be able to not only get Lexi to like me, but also cover up the faults of the last one! I'm going to make her a CD full of love songs! But she'd never play it if I told her it was love songs, so I'll just say it has all her favorites on it instead. She'll play it as a peace offering, then find out it has love songs on it, then realize how much I like her and let me go on a date with her! This time the plan is really foolproof!_

* * *

><p>Leon took a deep breath as he rang the doorbell to Viktor and Lexi's house, praying that by some stroke of fate Lexi would answer again; if she didn't, it was assured he'd get the romantic snot beat out of him for the ninth, or maybe it was the tenth, time that week.<p>

Leon silently thanked Jeanne when the little brunette peaked out from behind the door.

He spoke up immediately. "Hey Lexi! I know the flowers yesterday may have been a little too forward. But I hope we can still be friends!" He held out the plastic CD case. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable…I made this CD for you to make up for it!"

He smiled hopefully as Lexi, still half-hidden by the door, reluctantly grabbed the case from Leon's hands, opened it and eyed the CD curiously.

She smiled ever so slightly when she spotted the soundtrack list on the inside flap. "I accept your apology, but only because you have 'Little Talks' on here."

Leon grinned proudly. "Well, I'm glad you like it! I better go before your brother finds me." He waved goodbye and began to walk towards the sidewalk. As soon as he heard the front door shut, though, he quickly doubled back. Running around the house, he made it to a large tree directly outside Lexi's widow.

He learned awhile ago throughout his history of attempts that if he climbed high enough he could just barely be able to glimpse into Lexi's room, seeing as far as the foot of the bed, the door and a nearby dresser.

'Perfect!' he squealed internally. 'The windows open! I'll be able to hear her play the CD!' He climbed deftly up the tree and sat on a sturdy branch, peering into the room to see his beloved crush smiling as she put the CD into her stereo and pressed play.

_~Head under water and they tell me to breathe easy for a while._

_The breathing gets harder, even I know that...~_

"Huh?" Lexi sputtered, skipping to the next track.

_~I'm at a payphone trying to call home_

_All of my change I spent on you...~_

"What?" she gasped, skipping over the song.

_~There's a calm surrender to the rush of day,_

_When the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away...~_

"Next!" Lexi cried, pressing the skip button again.

_~Every night in my dreams,_

_I see you, I feel you...~_

Lexi sat in stunned silence for a moment, then quickly paused the CD.

'Uh-oh...' Leon cringed to himself. 'I don't think that went over too well...'

"VIKTOR!" Lexi shouted out her bedroom door. "LEON TRICKED ME!"

From his place on the tree branch, Leon could hear heavy footsteps dash up the stairs, hearing them get closer and closer until Viktor finally burst into Lexi's room.

"He did WHAT?!" Viktor growled fiercely.

Lexi held up the CD case for Viktor to see. "He said he was sorry about the roses from yesterday and gave me this CD instead!"

"That bas-Wait, don't you like these songs?"

Lexi pressed play on the stereo. _~That is how I know you go on...~ _

Viktor was the first to act. Not even bothering to pause the song, he opened the stereo up, pulled the CD out and without hesitating, snapped it in two.

"I swear, the next time I see that guy he won't be able to freaking move for a week!" With that he stormed out, leaving Lexi with a broken CD to throw out.

**Mission: Failed.**

* * *

><p><em>Leon's Mission Log<em>

_April 19_

_Okay, I know I've said this about every other plan I've had, but this one is perfection itself! Girls like poetry, right? So Lexi would love it if I recited romantic poetry for her! I borrowed one of Dad's old Shakespeare books and I've been practicing all day! Tonight I'll recite it by her bedroom window, just like in Romeo and Juliet!_

* * *

><p>It was pitch black out when Leon had finally managed to find his way around the house to the old tree outside Lexi's window. He clambered up it again, sitting on a branch slightly higher than before so he could see easily into Lexi's room. The window was still open, and Lexi was slowly nodding off in her bed.<p>

He pulled a notepad containing sonnets he'd copied from the book out of his pocket.

'This has to work! It just has to!' he thought determinedly.

Taking a deep breath, he began to recite with enthusiasm.

"Not marble, nor the gilded monuments

Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme;

But you shall shine more bright in these contents

Than unswept stone, besmear'd with sluttish time."

Lexi sat straight up in bed at the sound of his voice and looked out the window, and upon realizing that some small, creepy individual was outside her window, immediately flew into a panic. She screamed and bolted out the door.

Leon, realizing his brilliant plan had been foiled again, quickly stuffed the paper back into his pocket and turned to shimmy down the tree before Viktor could find him.

He wasn't fast enough. As soon as Viktor had heard his sister scream, he rushed over to her and managed to piece together that someone was in her room. He was there in a matter of seconds, in just enough time to catch a glimpse of Leon ducking under the windowsill and climbing down the tree.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE PERVERT?!" He yelled, rushing to the sill in an attempt to grab Leon and drag him inside the room so he could be properly clobbered.

Leon managed to escape his grasp with moments to spare, skidding down the tree and bounded away as fast as his little legs would carry him.

Luckily for him, he got a good head start and it was dark out, making it impossible for Viktor to follow him.

"That's not going to save me in the morning, though..." he thought aloud.

**Mission: EPIC FAIL. **

* * *

><p><em>Leon's Mission Log<em>

_April 20_

_Well, I'm nearly out of ideas to get Lexi to like me! I guess I'll take a break for today, and see if I can come up with another good idea tomorrow. Because even if it takes me 100 years, I will have Lexiella Beilschmidt as my girl-._

"Leon? I need to ask-!" England barged into Leon's room to find his son sitting in the corner of his room, with all the lights turned out save the flashlight in his hand, furiously scribbling in a light blue journal reading 'Diary' in elegant cursive on the front.

"DAD! WHY CAN'T YOU LEARN TO KNOCK?!" Leon shouted, turning red and slamming his 'diary' shut, leaning over it to cover what he'd written.

"...I guess I'll ask you later then..." England replied abruptly, shutting the door and leaving Leon alone again in his darkened room. 'When...just WHEN did I screw up with him?!' he thought as he stormed down the hall.

France, who was reading a trashy celebrity magazine in the living room, caught sight of the distraught country. "Mon Cherie? What's wrong?" he questioned curiously.

"I BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING, YOU DAMNED FROG!"

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Man, I really love Leon. Writing him is just so much fun! I find myself laughing at him sometimes...anyway, as always, I'd love to hear what you guys thought of this! So leave me a review!

Onilee: Or not, it's fun to watch her suffer! Don't believe me? Give it a shot!

Me: *pulls out hammer* You know Onilee, I think you'd be a lot cuter with a hole in your head!

Onilee: Fine, don't be such a drama queen about it.

Me: =_= Sometimes I wonder why I don't just kill you off. Before I go though, *ahem* Are there any Soul Eater fans among my readers? Well, then why don't you guys check out my fanfic "Soul Eater:Next Generation"?

Onilee: Just like this fanfic, it's about main character kids...and it SUCKS!

Me: I'm just going to ignore that. If you like Hetalia Kids and you're a Soul eater fangirl or fanboy, give it a click! It'd make me a very happy fanfic writer. Until next time FOLLOW, FAVORITE, AND REVIEW~!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N

Me: Hey everyone! Surprised to see a new chapter up so quick? Good! I'm going to try to get into the habit of posting ever other week!

Onilee: *rolls eyes* Yeah, good luck with that...

Me: Ignoring the sarcasm, thanks for believing in me! This chapter is about our favorite little voice of reason: KOBEY! Featuring Pinky and America! ENJOY~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 14<strong>

Kobey had been seated at his desk for hours by this time, scribbling furiously in his notebook. To his left, Pinky was sitting at the edge of his cage, peering through the bars to see what Kobey was doing.

"Gee, Kobey," Pinky started, "what exactly are you doin'?"

"Trying to figure out how to bring back the dead," Kobey responded curtly.

"Why are you doin' that?"

"To bring Gilroy back of course," Kobey growled in frustration. "Really, Pinky, I tell you this every night!"

"Sorry, Kobey." The rat sheepishly looked down at the floor of his cage.

"It's okay, I'm just so frustrated! This formula won't come out right now matter what I do!"

"Have you tried carrying the y variable?"

"...What?"

"Just a guess." The little creature shrugged.

Kobey slammed his head against the desk. "I've been outsmarted by my own rat," he lamented.

At that moment, the door flew open and America charged into the room, sporting his usual wide grin. Pinky jumped at the loud noise, scampering behind Kobey's pencil case and falling silent. "Little buddy! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

Kobey turned to face his father. "What is it, dad? I'm kind of in the middle of something big," he sighed.

"I'm going to teach you how to fly a plane today!" America beamed, grabbing Kobey by the arm, yanking him out of his seat and leading him down the stairs.

"A plane?! Dad, you do realize I'm eight, right? I'm pretty sure it's illegal!"

America snorted. "The law? Who gives a crap, about the law? You need to know how to fly, little buddy. I wish I'd learned when I was your age!"

"You couldn't have! They weren't invented yet!"

"Well then you lucked out!"

Kobey rolled his eyes. He'd found out long ago that it was nearly impossible to talk sense into his dad. It was easier to simply go along with what he said and hope he didn't end up in the hospital later.

"Alfred? Where are you taking Kobey?" Japan queried as the two passed through the living room.

"Out to the garage, I'm teaching him how to fly the biplane!"

"Oh, that's-Wait a minute, what?!"

"He's teaching me how to fly," Kobey repeated, far less enthusiastically than his father.

"Alfred! I know you can be reckless, but Kobey's eight years old! He can't even drive yet! How do you expect him to fly?!"

"Hey, when the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be really happy he knows how to fly a plane!"

"And it's coming sooner than you think..." Kobey muttered to himself.

"But, what if the plane crashes?!" Japan implored.

"Relax! I'll be in the plane with him. He'll be fine!" America replied nonchalantly.

"Did you even ask Kobey if he wanted to do this?!" Japan accused.

"I think an upcoming zombie apocalypse trumps a 'no'!"

"It's okay, Mom," Kobey reassured. "Dad may be insane, but I really don't think he'd let me crash."

"Are you sure about this?" Japan questioned, then quickly added, "And stop calling me 'Mom'."

"Yeah, why not?" Kobey shrugged.

"That's all I needed to hear!" America cheered, clasping Kobey's arm again and rushing out the back door.

Once they were in the garage, America lifted the tarp off an old, blaringly yellow biplane. "It's a good plane to start flying with," he explained. "I spent all last night doing some tune-ups. It should run perfect."

He hoped in front seat. "I'll start off, show you the basics, land, and then give you control. Got it?" Kobey nodded. "Good. Get your goggles and a helmet on!"

"Why do I need a helmet?" Kobey asked curiously.

"To give your mother at least some peace knowing if we crash your brain won't fly out." Noticing the look on Kobey's face he quickly added, "B-but don't worry! I'm a professional! I won't let you die!"

"Thanks, Dad…really comforting to know that," Kobey commented sarcastically.

America didn't notice. "Good! Now get your goggles and brain bucket already and let's go!"

Once Kobey had strapped himself in, America started up the plane. He shouted over the engine, "Now! We just get her going at a nice pace down the runway, slowly gaining speed, then we pull this down towards the end to get the nose off the ground! The rest will follow!"

"What?!" Kobey yelled back, not catching a bit of his father's rapid lesson.

"Good! Glad you understand!" America responded, turning to the runway and pulling the plane into the sky.

Once they were a few hundred feet off the ground, Kobey looked down to see their house growing smaller and smaller. He felt his stomach drop and his head spin slightly at the dizzying height.

"How's it feel to be flying?!" America asked, still bellowing over the roaring engine. Kobey picked up enough to understand what his father was asking.

"It's pretty cool, I guess!" he responded at the same volume.

"Awesome! Now I'm going to show you how to turn! Pay attention now!" Kobey leaned forward and watched as his father maneuvered the aircraft around the clouds. He was impressed at how it all seemed so effortless, but he knew it was much harder than it looks.

After a while, America turned to Kobey. "Hey, you think this thing would fit in a Burger King drive-thru?"

Kobey shrugged. "Worth a shot!"

"Let's pick up some dinner then! I'm starved!" America turned the nose of the plane downward, diving at an incredible speed, only to level out twenty feet above the buildings below.

Eventually, they made their way into the drive-thru. It was definitely a day to remember for the staff: One didn't often get the opportunity to serve burgers to a man in a giant yellow biplane.

"I think we'd disappoint them if we don't come in the plane next time we're here," Kobey remarked as he munched on his fries.

"Gd pnt lil' budy!" America replied, the words muffled by the Whopper crammed into his mouth. "Y-u cn fly nex' tim!"

'I don't think I can learn how to fly that well by tomorrow...' Kobey thought.

"You can start right now!" America said, finally swallowing his burger. "Just climb up front!"

"Dad! We're in the air!"

"Like I said, I'm an expert!" America gloated. "I'll make sure you don't fall!"

Kobey was hesitant, but eventually managed to crawl over to the cockpit and sit next to his dad. America placed Kobey's hands on the stick.

"I'm going to let go in a few seconds. Just remember: Up is pull, down is push, left is left, and right is right!"

Kobey nodded nervously. "What have I gotten myself into?" His muttered question was deafened out by the noise of the propeller.

"Okay! On three! One...two...three!" Ameica let go and Kobey felt himself struggling to keep the plane flying steady. The stick seemed to have a mind of its own, and he needed plenty of strength to keep it in place.

"You're doing it, little buddy!" America cheered. "I told you that you could!"

"This...isn't so bad, I guess!" Kobey smiled slightly.

"That's the spirit! Now take it down a little, we don't wanna fly too high!" Kobey slowly pushed the stick and eased the plane down. "See? You're a natural!"

"Really?"

"Of course you are! You're MY son after all." America proclaimed.

"Maybe I can fly this to BK tomorrow..." Kobey stated to the air.

"Tomorrow? Oh, no…we're going there now! We forgot to pick up something for your mother! Now turn around!"

Kobey chuckled and, with a little help, turned the plane around.

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Yup, little bit of fluff at the end. But, c'mon! Kobey was due for some spotlight!

Onilee: It was hard enough to find him, that kid is like a level ten wallflower!

Me: What? You're done insulting me so now your insulting the children?

Onilee: Who said I was done insulting you? *AHEM* You're chubby, you're lazy, you're ideas are clichéd, you're writing style sucks, you're annoying, you can't get a man in your life...

Me: ALRIGHT I GET IT! And so what if I don't have a man...*sniff* I-I'm an independent w-woman...*wipes eyes* Alright readers, few things to say before I leave. A) Thanks to those who read my Soul Eater fanfic! I'm glad you liked it and I hope some more of you guys are still interested! B) I'm going to have you guys vote on who Chapter 15 will be about! Just send me a Review or a PM about who you want. I'll tally up the votes, and write! If no one votes, instead of you guys waiting two weeks, you'll wait a month! Voting for of them is acceptable! C) Thanks to everyone who's followed this story! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Until next time FOLLOW, FAVORITE, AND REVIEW~!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N

Me: Updates every other week. Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Onilee: You've gotten yourself into the grave you've dug.

Me: I couldn't even finish the chapter for my other fanfic! I don't have enough inspiration for all this! And what's worse, HARDLY ANYONE REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER! *depression* ...By the way, congrats Vampchick2010. Since only 3 votes were casted, I had to pitch the ideas to my almighty editor. Be happy, your idea received the coveted "EDITOR APPROVAL". So this chapter is about Lexi and Viktor...with a little Leon.

Onilee: Really? =_=

Me: Hey, you're the one who loves the little guy so much!

Onilee: Then where'd that Leon plushie come from? *points to plushie in my hands*

Me: I REGRET NOTHING! Enjoy~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 15<strong>

"Lexi! Where are you?"

"I'm in the living room Viktor!" Viktor walked into the living room to find his sister sitting on the carpet, with Patches in her lap.

"Seriously? Is that all that the thing does?" Viktor rolled his eyes.

Lexi glared at him. "Her name is Patches, Viktor! And of course this isn't all she does!"

"Yeah? Well does she know any tricks?"

Lexi paused, thinking the question over, before confidently responding, "Yeah, she does! She can climb up really high, jump down, and always land on her feet. She can clean herself, and she's a pro at cuddling!"

"Lexi, those aren't tricks! Those are things cats do!"

"They're tricks to me," Lexi replied with a pout.

"I guess you don't want me to teach her REAL tricks, then, huh?"

"Real tricks?" Lexi queried.

Viktor nodded. "Like how to shake, how to play dead, how to retrieve things…"

"That sounds an awful lot like what a dog does, Viktor."

"Oh, well. If you think Patches can't handle it..."

"N-No! I didn't say that!" Lexi interrupted. "I guess you could teach her some tricks."

"Good!" Viktor scooped up Patches from Lexi's lap. "Let's begin then."

Viktor placed the feline on the floor in front of him, as she eyed him curiously.

"Sit," he commanded. Patches didn't budge. "Sit!" he repeated, once again receiving no response. "Just sit down already!" he shouted.

"Are you sure you know how to train her?" Lexi inquired.

"Of course I do! Your dumb cat's just being temperamental! The dogs learned that trick almost immediately!"

"But you didn't train the dogs," Lexi pointed out. "Daddy trained them."

Viktor chose to ignore that comment, and pushed harder on Patches's back, trying to compel the cat to sit. Patches, tired of having him push on her back, hissed and scurried away, jumping onto the bookshelf in the room. "Stupid cat!" Viktor yelled, waving his fist, who hissed at him again.

"Don't be so mean to Patches!" Lexi whined. "You're scaring her!"

Viktor grumbled, "If that thing can't learn how to do a basic trick like that, then I don't think it can learn anything."

"Maybe if you'd quit yelling at her!" Lexi plucked Patches off from the shelf and placed her back on the ground. "Patches, can you sit?" Lexi asked politely.

"Asking nicely isn't going to do anything, Lexi," Viktor laughed.

"Oh yeah? Just watch!"

Patches glanced at Viktor, then calmly sat down, curling her tail delicately around her toes. Viktor stared at his sister and her pet. "H-how did you do that?"

"She only listens if you ask nicely!" Lexi beamed. "Patches, can you shake hands?" Patches held her paw out and placed it in Lexi's hand. "Patches, come snuggle with Mommy!" Patches stood and arranged herself neatly in Lexi's lap, purring contently.

"Really?" An incredulous Viktor asked Patches, who only stared at him with a smug twinkle in her eye.

"Let's see…what other tricks can I teach her?" Lexi pondered. "Oh! I know! Patches, Leon's at the front door!" Patches sprang up from Lexi's lap as though it were a hot stove and dashed to the front of the house. Lexi and Viktor followed her and watched and the cat hissed viciously at the door, her back arching as she crouched low to the ground, ready to pounce.

"False alarm!" Lexi shouted, and Patches instantly fell calm, letting herself drop to the floor.

"Maybe that cat is smarter than she looks," Viktor admitted.

"She'll be there to help with Leon when you're not!" Lexi smiled, pulling Patches into her arms and stroking her fur. "She's very protective!"

An idea formed in Viktor's mind, and he slowly grinned, silently praising himself for his cruel genius. "You know, I have just the trick we could teach her."

"What is it?"

"I'll explain later…right now we need to get to the pet store!"

"Pet store?"

"We need to buy goldfish! Lots and lots of goldfish!"

"Why do we-?"

"You'll see!"

* * *

><p>Leon sat on his bed, watching Finn swim around his tank. He tapped on the glass to get the little creature's attention. "Hey Finn?"<p>

'Yes?' The fish replied.

"What's it like, breathing underwater?"

'I could ask you the same thing about breathing on land.'

"...Touché."

A loud knocking came at the door, and a moment later England stepped in. "Leon! Someone's here to see you."

"Send them in!" Leon called back, sliding off his bed to greet his visitor.

The door opened and Leon wished he had known who it was sooner, so that he would've had at least a meager chance to escape. Instead he faced Viktor, standing in the doorway, holding a Lexi's cat Patches in his arms and slowly stroking the cat from head to tail as he smirked maliciously.

"O-Oh! Viktor! How n-n-nice to see you!" Leon managed to choke out, already lying through his teeth.

"Hello, Leon," Viktor greeted coolly.

"W-why are you here?" Leon laughed nervously.

"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by."

"Why'd you bring Lexi's cat?"

Viktor laughed. "Oh, Patches? She just wanted to meet your little fish. Finn, was it?"

Leon glanced fearfully back at his tank, hearing Finn beginning to panic. "Y-Yeah! That's right!"

"I thought so." Viktor grinned evilly. "Patches, fishy time!" Patches leapt from Viktor's arms and scurried across the floor, hopping onto the table next to the tank, her sharp gaze set on Finn.

'Leon!' Finn cried. 'Leon! She's going to eat me! Help me!'

"Finn!" Leon shouted as he rushed over to the table. He was moments too slow. Just as he reached the tank, Patches had caught Finn in her paws and gobbled him down.

Leon heard his tortured fishy screams as Patches swallowed him…followed by a sickening silence.

"Finn..."

Patches trotted back to Viktor and rubbed up against his leg, Viktor patted the cat as a reward. "Good kitty."

"What have you done?! You killed my best friend!" Leon accused.

"Take that as a lesson!" Viktor stated. "Remember what I did to Finn next time you think about bothering my sister!" With that, he turned and walked out, Patches tailing behind.

Leon turned to the empty tank. "I'm so sorry Finn...but, I won't let this stop me! I know that you would want me to not give up and I won't! I will go on a date with Lexi and I will avenge your death! Someday I will…I swear."

Outside in the hall, England passed by. "Honestly, I think I should take that boy to a doctor. Don't you agree, Flying Mint Bunny?"

'That may not be a bad idea!' Flying Mint Bunny piped.

"Maybe..." England sighed.

* * *

><p>AN

Me:*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen! I have the honor of telling you that in about 2 weeks, it'll be Pheonixette101's birthday! And, in honor of this occasion, the next chapter is something a little special..."Hetalia Kids Play Amnesia: The Dark Descent"

Onilee: ...You're not.

Me: I am.

Onilee: ...*goes into corner and rocks back and forth* Paint the man...cut the lines...paint the man...cut the lines...

Me: I forgot what that game did to you...

Onilee: *shakes* NO! NO! IT HAS NO LOWER JAW! WHERE IS IT'S LOWER JAW!

Me: ...Oh, I'm really going to enjoy writing this...Until next time! FAVORITE, FOLLOW, AND **REVIEW**~!


	16. Chapter 16

A/N

Me: Hey guys...I promised you a birthday special. Giving you a Halloween one instead. So I guess it's a birthday/Halloween special *laughs sadly*.

Onilee: What's wrong? I mean, seriously, you look awful.

Me: I feel like crap that's why. I've kinda worked myself into a depression. About a month ago I had so much confidence in my writing and I was so happy that people were reviewing and following. But lately, I've really started doubting my work and just how good I am as a writer. I've had no flow for writing at all, everything is so...stunted. My muse has died, my inspiration's gone, all of my 20 stories floating in my head have...just died. I...can't seem to write.

Onilee: 0_0 Dude...are you okay?

Me: No, not really. Before I forget. *hands Leon a fish* This was supposed to be your Christmas present. But since a lot of people were sad to see Finn go, I made it special for you. Meet Finn II, the immortal fish.

Leon: *hugs me* THANK YOU!

Me: Viktor, if you kill this one. I'm popping a cap in your little ass. By the way, I wrote this chapter in script form because it made more sense than describing things going on in the game and since this chapter would be mostly dialogue, I'd probably would've run out of synonyms for "said" 50 times over. Also, what I know from Amnesia is what I remember from watching Mangaminx's and Cry's Let's Plays of the game. I tried to be as thorough as possible, going so far as to look up a walkthrough. But I gave up on getting every detail correct so most of this is written based on my selective memory. If I f***ed up on some details, I apologize. I really got lazy partway through it. I hope it still serves its purpose. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ENJOY~!

* * *

><p><em>Guide:<em>

_**=Actions from game_

_()=Actions made directly by kids._

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 16<strong>

**AMNESIA BIRTHDAY/ HALLOWEEN SPECIAL**

Kids: (sitting on the floor in Kobey's bedroom as he's hooking up his computer to a projector)

Viktor: So, Kobey. Would you mind telling us why you insisted we all come to your house immediately?

Kobey: You'll see. It's a surprise. Now, someone shut the door and pull the shades down.

Leon: There are a number of reasons for why you're asking us to do this. Most of them pretty dirty.

Kobey: Leon, get your mind out of the gutter. We need the atmosphere if we're gonna play this right.

Zoltan: You got a new game?

Kobey: Yup.

Viktor: Then why would this involve us?

Kobey: Have you guys ever heard of the game "Amnesia: The Dark Descent"?

Kids: (silently stare at Kobey in disbelief)

Lexi: Y-You mean, the unofficial scariest horror game ever created?

Kobey: That's the one! My dad bought me a copy and there's no way I'm playing this alone. Plus, I hear it's more fun in a group.

Rebeka: Then what're we waiting for! (slams door and pulls blinds) Let's get started already!

Viktor: I don't think Lexi should watch this.

Lexi: Oh lighten up! I'm not a baby, Viktor!

Viktor: Lexi...

Rebeka: It's just ONE scary game. She'll be fine! Kobey, how much longer is this gonna take!

Kobey: I almost got this projector hooked up...there!

*image of main menu displays on Kobey's wall*

Viktor: Wow, this looks pretty intense!

Rebeka: You can say that again!

Kobey: Okay, everyone ready?

Kids: READY!

Kobey: Well, here goes nothing. (presses "New Game")

* * *

><p>Leon: Okay, so our main buddy here is named Daniel and-OH MY GOD HE'S BRITISH!<p>

Kobey: Maybe it's set in Britain? Doesn't England have a lot of old castles?

Leon: He does! I've been to a lot of them actually.

Viktor: Guys! Focus! This could be important!

Lexi: We're getting up!

Rebeka: Looks like we have to follow the "liquid" trail.

Zoltan: I'm pretty sure that's blood...are we bleeding?!

Rebeka: Blood isn't that pink you moron!

Kobey: In any case, we better follow it.

Leon: This doesn't seem to scary, I mean the atmosphere is creepy, but I don't understand what all the hype is ab-HOLY SHIT THAT DOOR OPENED!

Kobey: Leon chill! It's a door! It's not like monsters are going to pop out of it!

Lexi: I heard that there are monsters in this game. But you can't fight them, you have to run.

Leon: ...So Daniel's part Italian?

Zoltan: What's that blue glowing...film canister thing?

Kobey: Let me see...I can pick it up! It says that it's a tinderbox and it can be used to light candles and stuff!

Rebeka: That's good. It's really dark in some room, and it sounds like someone's crushing Daniel's skull in a vise when he's in the dark too long.

Lexi: I know! It's horrible!

Zoltan: Looks like the trail goes around the corner.

Leon: Let's just hope nothing to extreme happens ear-.

*Daniel suddenly collapses*

Lexi: EEK! WHY DID WE JUST COLLAPSE?!

Rebeka: Daniel! Get off the ground! Now's not the time for a nap! You have a trail to follow...yeah, you better get up!

Kobey: I'm going to check out some of these rooms. Wow, lots of tinderboxes lying around.

Viktor: Save them, they could come in handy later.

Rebeka: Hey! That door looks important!

Zoltan: Old Archives?

Lexi: Click it!

* * *

><p>Viktor: So the trail even leads down here?<p>

Zoltan: I still think it's blood.

Leon: AH!

Kobey: Leon! It's the wind! Calm the hell down, nothing bad'a even happened yet!

Leon: Sorry, it's just so sudden. You guys seriously aren't scared of that?

Viktor: It's wind! Not like it can hurt us.

Kobey: Let's see what's inside the room...okay, tinderboxes. What's inside the desk?

Lexi: A lantern!

Zoltan: Looks like it carries oil.

Kobey: Great! Now we'll be able to see in this God-awful place!

Rebeka: Back on the trail...DAMMIT!

Kobey: What's with these earthquakes?! Is the castle collapsing on us or something?!

Viktor: It might be, hurry up and follow the trail!

* * *

><p>Rebeka: Trail ends here. And that paper's glowing blue!<p>

Viktor: Pick it up! Maybe we can read it!

*Daniel reads note aloud*

Leon: ...Wow...

Viktor: This guy REALLY hates Alexander.

Rebeka: Yeah, I wonder what kind a trauma would induce someone to purposefully forget all their memories.

Leon: Well...rape is most likely.

Kids: LEON!

Leon: WHAT?! It's true! Daniel could've been raped and it was so emotionally crippling he wiped his memories!

Kobey: Leon, remember what I said earlier about your mind and it being in the gutter? Yeah, get it out of there before I kick you out of my house.

Rebeka: Do we HAVE to kill him? I mean, how trustworthy is this Daniel character? What if he's a hardened criminal? I just don't feel good about killing him.

Zoltan: Since when have you ever had qualms about hurting people?

Rebeka: (slaps Zoltan upside the head)

Lexi: Look! There's a lever on that wall!

Kids: Pull it!

Kobey: Okay...secret passage behind a bookcase. How original.

Rebeka: There's another ornate door! Entrance Hall?

* * *

><p>Leon: Not much of an entrance hall is it?<p>

Rebeka: This castle is falling to shit!

Viktor: Oh God, are we collapsing again?!

*screen goes white and memory of Daniel talking with Alexander is heard*

Zoltan: What was that? Some sort of flashback?

Lexi: Alexander's voice was so creepy!

Rebeka: He sounds like a creeper.

Leon: Which only supports my "Daniel was raped" theory!

Kobey: Viktor?

Viktor: (punches Leon)

Kobey: Thank you.

* * *

><p>Kobey: Jeez, this game is taking longer than I thought. The puzzles are frustrating though!<p>

Leon: (shaking slightly)The atmosphere is pretty creepy...

Zoltan: (nods)

Viktor: I thought there were monsters in this game.

Lexi: There are! Remember that growl about a half hour ago!

Viktor: It was only a growl! Nothing came after us!

Rebeka: That's because we bolted out of the room before it could!

Viktor: Don't care. Failed to scare me.

Kobey: This looks like an important note.

*after note is read*

Lexi: What's with the scary music?

Kobey: Get in the closet?

Kids: HIDE IN THE CLOSET! HIDE IN THE CLOSET!

Kobey: We're in! We're in!

*SMASH*

Lexi: Oh God. OH GOD! It's right outside!

Kobey: I wanna see it!

Viktor: If you open those doors it'll see us!

Kobey: Not if I'm careful! *slowly opens them*

Kids: ...*scream bloody murder*

Lexi: THE JAW?! WHERE'S IT'S LOWER JAW?!

Zoltan: OH GOD! IT'S THE EVIL FISHMAN FROM MY NIGHTMARES!

Rebeka: (slaps Zoltan) SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT THE DOOR!

Kobey: *shuts door quickly*

Leon: (grabs cross around neck) Oh God, please make it go away, please make it go away!

Kids: *head door close and breathe sigh of relief*

Leon: Thank you God...

Viktor: Holy crap...holy crap...THAT is going to give me nightmares for weeks!

Kobey: We have to keep playing now! I'll bet Alexander made those things! If we kill him, they'll die too! Like in all those monster movies.

Rebeka: You are taking this rather well Kobey.

Kobey: I'll admit it was scary. But it can't really hurt us! Let's keep going.

Leon: If I have a heart attack and die, I'm going to haunt you.

Kobey: Noted.

* * *

><p>Lexi: THIS ROOM HAS WINDOWS!<p>

Zoltan: Oh, sweet merciful natural light! How we missed you!

Rebeka: This is a cute little study!

Kobey: That's an interesting portrait on the wall.

Viktor: I'll bet that's Alexander!

Leon: His skin looks so orange...

Kobey: Weird. Let's check the desk for some oil. We need some. There we are! *turns back to portrait*

Viktor: HOLY SHIT! WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Rebeka: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Kobey: *grabs book off desk and chucks it at the portrait*

Zoltan: IT'S NOT WORKING!

Lexi: GET OUT OF THERE!

Kobey: *bolts out of room*

Rebeka: ...I officially have no qualms about stabbing Alexander repeatedly in the windpipe with a spork.

Kobey: All in favor of going through with her plan, say I.

Kids: I!

Kobey: Let's see if we can find a spork to stab him with!

* * *

><p>Zoltan: Hey! That statue doesn't have a head!<p>

Kobey: *turns to statue* You're right, that's wei-.

Kids: ...

Viktor: *quickly covers Lexi's eyes*

Lexi: Huh? What's going on?

Viktor: It's for your own good, Lexi.

Leon: (Laughs) That's such a tiny little dick!

Kobey: Leon!

Leon: Well, it is! It's a baby penis! Look at how cute and tiny it is!

Kobey&Viktor: LEON!

Leon: It doesn't even have any balls!

Kobey: That's it! *runs away from statues* From now on, we will avoid looking at statues with no heads.

* * *

><p>Lexi: Yuck! The sewers!<p>

Rebeka: I didn't think they'd have THIS in the game.

Kobey: Well, a lot of old castles had sewers.

Viktor: But not a lot had elevators.

Kobey: True, true.

*SPLASH*

Viktor: What the hell was that?

*SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH*

Kobey: *turns around to see the splash following them*

Zoltan: GET OUT OF THE WATER!

Kobey: How?!

Rebeka: THE BOX!

Lexi: JUMP ON THE BOX!

Kobey: *jumps on box*

Leon: Oh God, what is that thing?!

Kobey: I don't know! But I think it's going to keep following us!

Zoltan: How do we get away from it?!

Kobey: Gimme a second to think!

_**A short while later**_

Kids: RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!

Kobey: YES! WE MADE IT!

Leon: HAHA! Can't get us now, can you? Freaking water beast!

* * *

><p>Rebeka: Am I the only one who thinks Daniel is an absolute basket-case?<p>

Others: No.

Kobey: Does anyone really know what a Nave is anyway?

Viktor: No...but we're in one.

*Agrippa comes into view*

Lexi: (screams) WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!

Leon: Dear. Merciful. God.

Kobey: It's asking us to pull the lever, should I do it?

Viktor: No! It's probably kill us!

Rebeka: How?! It has no feet! It can't case us! I'll bet we could stomp it with our shoe.

Zoltan: But we can't FIGHT monsters in this game.

Kobey: Screw it. I'm pulling the lever.

*Talk to Agrippa*

Lexi: Poor Agrippa...

Viktor: Alexander...what a flipping asshole.

Zoltan: I say we help him! Poor guy will be stuck there for eternity if we don't!

Leon: Plus! If we save him, maybe we won't rot in hell for killing all those people.

Kobey: Worth a shot.

* * *

><p>Kobey: Is Daniel just CARRYING that head around with him?<p>

Rebeka: I rest my case, Daniel's clinically insane.

Zoltan: Oh, we ALL knew that.

Viktor: Let's just get into the freaking Inner Sanctum and get this over with! We've been playing for like 7 hours!

Lexi: (shaking on floor)

Kobey: Is she okay?

Viktor: (pats her back) She just needs to get over that last monster who chased us...the one with a sword for a hand?

Kobey: Oh yeah...only a mother could love that face.

Zoltan: I think that goes for ALL these monsters.

Leon: Let's just get into the Inner Sanctum.

*Inside the Inner Sanctum*

Rebeka: There he is! Alexander!

Viktor: Yeah let's-! ...OH DEAR GOD MY EYES!

Leon: (Laughs) Everyone has SUCH TINY DICKS!

Kobey: Well, looks like I'm going to have to scald my eyes after this.

Rebeka: Ugh! JUST KILL THE DAMN FREAK ALREADY!

Kobey: We have to wait until the portal opens, Agrippa wants to go through!

Viktor: Sure, let's listen to the talking decapitated head we've just been carrying around!

Kobey: You got a better plan?

Viktor: Stabbing him in the windpipe with a spork sounded fun.

Leon: But there we couldn't find a spork.

Viktor: That's never stopped me.

Kobey: I own the game, I'm shoving his head through that space portal! I sure as hell am not going through it, and Alexander sure as hell isn't, let's just send the head as a crash dummy and see how it works!

Zoltan: Portals open!

Rebeka: Do it! NOW!

Kobey: *chucks head in*

*Alexander has dramatic death and Daniel passes out*

Kobey: ...WE DIED?!

Viktor: OH THAT'S JUST A DICK MOVE!

Zoltan: Wait! Agrippa's gonna bring us back.

*roll credits*

Rebeka: Guess he was a cheap asshole and decided not too.

Lexi: Paint the man...cut the lines...paint the man...cut the lines.

Viktor: Oh dear. (picks up Lexi) Well, I better get her home. I knew letting you watch this was a bad idea.

Zoltan: Oh, well. Who needs sleep anyway?

Rebeka: Let's go scardy-cat. Mom's probably getting worried.

Leon: Yeah, I should go too. Later Kobey!

Kids: (Leave Kobey alone in his room)

Kobey: (Exits out of game and looks up "Amnesia" on Google) ...Machine for Pigs, huh? (smiles sinisterly)

* * *

><p>AN

Me: *stares sadly at chapter* I can't do this right now. I just can't. I'm going to go on a month long hiatus.

Kids&Onilee: WHAT?!

Me: Look, I can't write! I just can't! There's been so much shit going on in my life. I really just stopped having confidence in myself. I've dug myself into a pit and it'll be a while before I can claw myself out. I'll try to be back by December, really I will. I'm just...just...*bangs head against wall* QUIT BEING ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED DAMMIT! THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU! *goes into emo corner*

Onilee: H-Hey! C'mon! This isn't funny, it's my job to hate your writing! Not yours! *shakes me* Let's write another chapter together! You and me?

Me: ...

Onilee: I'm going to steal your fudge now.

Me: ...

Onilee: ...I'm also going to sell your plushies to strange men on Craigslist. *casually drops flame thrower on my lap*

Me: ...

Onilee: ...This is really bad.

Zoltan: Oh God, she's dying isn't she?

Lexi: It's the MEPS! It's finally killing her!

Leon: OH GOD WHAT IF SHE KILLS THE STORY?!

Onilee: Alright! Everyone just chill! She'll be fine! She...she'll be just...oh, God...*turns to readers* Guys, I'm actually seriously worried about her. I mean, I don't think she's ever been this upset. Ever. Help me out here? I know I probably don't deserve it! But seriously! I'm really freaked out. Please *imitates my voice* FAVORITE, FOLLOW, AND REVIEW~! Because I'm scared. o_o


	17. Chapter 17

A/N

Me: I'M BAAAAAACK! I successfully clawed my way out of the dreaded pit of writer's depression and I got this chapter DONE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Onilee: Weren't you out of that pit a month ago?

Me: Yeah, I don't think my readers would care about my finals, school, or that f***ing boy in English who has a crush on me but can't take a GODDAMNED HINT! Ugh, my life really sucks sometimes. Sorry I kept you waiting so long guy's but things were pretty insane on my end AND if you want this stuff to be good you have to be patient. Good things come to those who wait!

Onilee: Is that your excuse for procrastinating?

Me: No, my excuse is MEPS. I've kept you all waiting for too long, and I cannot thank you all enough for all the lovely reviews and favorites you've given me. FFN is one of the few places I truly feel at home, you guys are the best. Now, ENJOY THE CHAPTER~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 17<strong>

Lexi loved Austria and Hungary's house when the whole front yard was covered in edelweiss buds, she took a few minutes to admire them as she walked up to their front door. She was carrying a thin canvas bag, in which pencils and paint brushes clinked together. Hungary answered her light knocking at the door.

"Lexi! Rebeka said you'd be coming over, she's upstairs in her room."

"Thank you, Auntie Hungary," Lexi piped before making her way upstairs.

When she entered her cousin's room, she found Rebeka staring dejectedly out her window, sighing heavily. "Hey, Rebeka! Thanks for having me over!" She tipped the contents of her bag onto the floor, and then pulled a sketchbook put of her pile. "I didn't know you were interested in art!"

Rebeka turned to Lexi with a somber expression. "I'm not."

"Huh? But you said on the phone-."

"I lied. It was the only way to get you to come over here! You wouldn't have come if I had told you the truth..."

Lexi began to worry as she looked imploringly at Rebeka. "What's wrong?"

Rebeka turned to look back at the window. "I'm starting to realize life is short Lexi. You wouldn't understand…you're only seven after all. You have 6 more years to enjoy childhood! I only have three! Then, BAM! I'm a teen!"

"Three years from now is, like, forever away, though!" Lexi pointed out, attempting to console Rebeka.

The older of the two shook her head sadly. "You're still so young, Lexi. Three years is like a snap to someone like me! Think about it! Only three more years of getting toys for Christmas! Only three more years of getting cheaper tickets to amusement parks!" Completely engrossed in her speech, she whipped around and pointed at her own face. "Do you think I'll look this cute in three years?! NO! I'll start looking like a mini-adult! Which IS NOT adorable!"

Lexi gasped. "Th-That sounds awful!"

"And that's not the worst part!"

"It gets worse?!"

"When I'm a teenager, the excuse, 'She's only a kid, she doesn't know any better' is GONE! I won't be able to get away with ANYTHING, because I'm supposed to be 'responsible'!" She lingered on the last word, then made a face as if it had left an awful taste in her mouth. "That's why I need your help."

"...Wait, why exactly do you need my help?" Lexi knit her eyebrows in confusion.

"Because I'm going to milk that excuse for all it's worth! I'm going to pull a prank on EVERYONE, including my parents! Still, it's a lot of work for me to do alone. You're the only one who can help me pull this off." She held her hand out expectantly to Lexi. "Are you in?"

Lexi hesitated, twisting the corner of the page of her sketchbook nervously. "I dunno..."

"If you do this, you can paint a picture of our garden with me."

Lexi's eyes lit up. "Really?!"

"It's only fair."

"...Okay, then! I'm in!" She shook Rebeka's hand.

Rebeka clapped her hands together. "Well! Come on, then…we don't have all day! We have pranks to plan!"

* * *

><p>"...and that's about it!" Rebeka concluded after an hour of intense discussion, smiling proudly at what she felt was her best plan ever. "That covers Mom, Dad, Kobey, Leon, and Viktor. Now all that left is to decide who to start with!"<p>

Lexi though for a moment, chewing absent-mindedly on the base of her thumb. "I got it!" She gathered up the notebook and stuck it to the dartboard hanging on the back of Rebeka's door. "We'll start with who you hit first!"

"Sounds like fun!" She picked up a handful of bright red darts from her nightstand. "You might wanna stand back, Lexi."

Lexi took a few steps back and watched Rebeka intently. Rebeka picked single dart from her handful and concentrated on the board. Once her shot was lined up she hurled it as hard as she could. The dart stuck in the center of the notebook.

Rebeka approached the board, plucked the dart from the name and read it aloud. "Austria...so we're getting my dad first! Looks like we're going to need a LOT of nacho cheese."

"Are you sure it's a good idea to mess with the piano?" Lexi asked worriedly, "I mean, it is YOUR piano too!"

"Well, yeah, but we're only messing with the cheap one my dad practices on. If we touched the Bösendorfer my dad would disown me!"

"Oh, okay, then! But where are we going to get that much cheese?"

"Don't underestimate the great Rebeka Edelstein!"

* * *

><p>It was a peaceful morning for Austria. The twins hadn't been fighting since dawn, the edelweiss in the garden were starting to grow…the only thing that was missing was the glorious sound of the piano filling the house. Luckily for Austria, the music room was empty.<p>

Austria sat at the piano bench and pulled out a selection of Bach pieces. He placed the carefully pressed sheet music at the piano and rested his skilled fingers over the keys, enjoying a moment of silence before he allowed his ears to feast upon with the instrument's beautiful voice.

He pressed down.

_**T**__**in-SHMPH**__**.**_

Austria froze, and then cautiously tapped on another key.

_**Tin-SHMPH. **_

A wave a panic fell over Austria: His beloved piano never made a sound like that before and he had recently tuned it. "What on earth is going on?!" He quickly rose and peaked over the sheet music to look inside the piano, to see if perhaps a hammer was broken or a string was loose.

Nothing could prepare him for the horrors he saw.

"...I-Is that...CHEESE?!" Austria screeched in shock. He dipped his finger into the yellow goop and tasted a drop of it. "WHY IS THERE CHEESE IN THE PIANO?!" Austria never thought he'd live to see the day when Chopin could not let express his anger, but apparently, he was wrong.

If Austria had been more attentive, he would have noticed Lexi and Rebeka watching him in the doorway. Rebeka was doubled over, trying not to laugh out loud, while Lexi had a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles.

"Now," Rebeka whispered, tears in her eyes, "who should we get next?"

* * *

><p>AN

Me: This plot-line is going to span about two more chapters, it flows better that way in my opinion. Couple things I'd like to say before I go.

Onilee: First things on the list...people asking for more kids!

Me: Yeah, I've been getting reviews since the beginning that I should make more kids. Well, as of this moment: I'm not and I probably won't in the near future. I don't think the story needs it right now. My opinion may change down the road, but don't expect little Spamano, PrusCan, or god-forbid any USUK kids running amok. So please, don't ask.

Onilee: Next...okay, you're seriously wasting people's time now.

Me: Oh come on! I think they'd get a kick outta this!

Onilee: That's it, I'm leaving.

Me: Good for you. What Onilee was hinting at is what my editor found out a few days ago. You see, when I create OCs I tend to go a little nuts and go REALLY far into their lives, like who they'll marry and what their kids will be like. The Hetalia Kids are no exception. So I actually have spouses for all the Hetalia Kids, along with names and detailed background stories for these spouses. I probably will never write about them (because they have NOTHING AT ALL to do with Hetalia), much to the dismay of my editor (because she loves them), but that's not the point. Back to the story, I don't read too many Nyotalia fanfics, but my editor does. She recently discovered what Austria's Nyotalia name is: Annaliese. Which is ironic, because the name I gave Zoltan's wife is Annalise...which was completely coincidental and really freaked me out. Just a little weird fact I thought you guy's find interesting. If you guys are interested in hearing about the other spouses, gimme feedback and I might put it in the next chapter!

Onilee: *appears out of nowhere* By the way...one of the Hetalia Kids is in the closet, if you can guess which one you'll get a special prize! From ME!

Me: ONILEE! You can't do that...wait what's the prize?

Onilee: *holds up piece of paper*

Me: ...Where did...*pulls out flamethrower* YOU GIVE THAT BACK!

Onilee: YAY! YOU'RE TOTALLY BACK TO NORMAL!


	18. Chapter 18

A/N

Me: *lying on bed in a comatose state with a computer in front of her*

Onilee: ...Hey guys, if you're wondering why she's like that. Well...the MEPS have gotten to her. She has it bad...she thought of 7 different stories in one 8 hour span. She can only communicate in one sentence phrases now...She also can't take care of herself so I'M STUCK DOING IT! *turns to Me* GET BETTER ALREADY YOU BITCH!

Me: *types* So sorry...can't work so well.

Onilee: Look, I know your work is crap BUT PEOPLE READ IT! And they need you to update more often! It took way too long for this one to come out. You need to pick up the pace.

Me:*types* Don't worry. Less than three chapters left.

Onilee: ...WHAT?!

Me: *types* Readers...ENJOY!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 18<strong>

"Rebeka, are you sure he's going to fall for it? He'll know it's you!"

"Relax, Lexi. I bought a voice modifier online. He'll be none the wiser!"

"Well...if you say so."

Rebeka hooked the sound device onto the telephone, turning a few dials until her pitch was low enough to be unrecognizable. After she was content with her vocal disguise, she quickly dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?" a particularly loud voice rang from the other end.

Rebeka cleared her throat. "Hello! Is this the Awesome Prussia?" Rebeka smirked, knowing this would be enough to flatter Prussia's ego.

"Why yes it is!" Prussia gloated. "And who are you?"

"Sir, I'm a spy working for the German government. I can't give you my name, because I'm not sure of this line is secure enough. But I have vital information I have to pass onto you about the Hungarian military!"

"He's never going to believe that!" Lexi whispered. She had been listening in on the conversation. Rebeka promptly shushed her.

"Hungarian military?! Spit it out, man! I haven't got all day!" Prussia shouted enthusiastically.

Rebeka winked at Lexi. "I've discovered that Hungary herself is in possession of top secret military strategies. The only problem is that I'm not close enough to get them."

"Oh you useless-! Fine, where are they?! I'll get them myself!"

"Well, they're...uh...ahem, in her cleavage," Rebeka explained, feigning awkwardness while keeping a tight hold on her composure.

"...She's hiding military secrets in her boobs?" Prussia interrogated.

"Shoot! I knew he wouldn't fall for it!" Lexi began to panic.

"I FUCKING KNEW SHE HAD THOSE THINGS FOR A REASON!" Prussia's cries loudly echoed throughout the kitchen. "It all makes perfect sense!"

"Yes, yes, she's at her house now! Act while you can!" Rebeka quickly finished, her sturdy self-control quickly crumbling as she began to double over holding her laughs in.

"I owe you one buddy! Let's go out drinking after I get those secrets to celebrate!"

"YesofcourseBYE!" Rebeka slammed the phone in the receiver and burst out laughing. Lexi followed after her. "H-He actually bought it!" Rebeka managed to choke out through her giggles. "Word for word! It was almost too easy!"

After the two regained the ability to stand normally, Lexi was the first to speak up. "Now what?"

"Now, we go find Mom and wait for Prussia to get here…which should be any minute now."

The girls quickly scrambled out of Rebeka's kitchen and made their way to the living room window seat, which had a perfect view of the garden where Hungary was busily tending to the edelweiss.

"You sure he'll be here soon?" Lexi inquired, getting herself comfortable on the seat.

Rebeka chuckled darkly. "Lexi, there's no way Prussia would let a golden opportunity to humiliate my mother pass by. He'll be here in three...two...one."

On cue, Prussia's car appeared out of nowhere and skidded to a halt. The albino leaped out of the car and ran up to Hungary, slightly out of breath. Rebeka nudged the window open so they could hear the situation unfolding before them.

Hungary turned over her should to find Prussia looking as if he had just run a marathon. "Prussia? What are you doing here?"

"Secret...m-military...plans..." Prussia wheezed out.

"What secret military-?" Hungary was cut off by a hand firmly grasping her breast.

"I know you have them in your boobs! Just give them up!" Prussia shouted as her grabbed the other. "Huh...that's weird...I don't feel anything in there."

*CLANG*

A frying pan had materialized in Hungary's hand, and she promptly cracked the cookware weapon against Prussia's face. A dark aura seemed to form around her as she glared at him with all the furies of hell.

"Did. You. Just. Grab. My. Chest?" she growled acidly.

Prussia, recovering quickly from the blow to the thick head, responded, "What are you talking about? Yes! I literally just did!"

*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*

"Ouch..." Lexi cringed. "That looks really painful."

"Yeah, it probably is," Rebeka acknowledged nonchalantly as she snapped a photo. "This is gonna be my new wallpaper! Who's up next on the list?"

Lexi's brow scrunched in thought. "Kobey, I think..."

"While we're at it, let's prank Japan and America." Rebeka flashed her trademark demonic grin. "I have the perfect plan for them. Bring me the phone…I have to call the guy at the pet store!"

* * *

><p>Early morning sunlight poured into the room of Kobey Jones. It was seven in the morning and his alarm clock went off. He grumbled slightly and smashed the snooze button, silencing it, and was about to fall back asleep when he began to get the unsettling feeling that something was watching him. He sat up on bed and put his glasses on to inspect the room.<p>

He was met with dozens of black, soulless eyes staring blankly at him.

No less than twenty cockatiels were perched around his room, all eerily silent. Many of them were sitting around Pinky's cage, where inside the poor rat was shaking uncontrollably.

"K-Kobey..." the rat timidly squeaked. "I don't like these birds. Their eyes are looking into my soul, Kobey."

Kobey, still staring directly at the birds, nodded to show that he had heard Pinky. He pushed the covers off and slid out of bed, taking extreme measures to make sure each movement was as slow and quiet as possible. He knew little about birds, but he knew that the last thing he wanted to do was frighten a large flock of them in a confined space. He tiptoed over to Pinky's cage and scooped it up, hugging it close to his body, and turned around to see the cockatiels' eyes were still on him. Gulping almost silently, he backed away from his unwanted guests towards the door, watching them as if they would self-combust at any moment.

He finally made it to the door, his back was against it. He slipped a sweaty hand behind his back and tried the handle. The door swung into the room and he gingerly stepped around it. Quickly he turned and attempted to rush out.

Instead he ran face-first into an invisible wall of tape, covering the whole exit.

Kobey yelled in shock and surprise as he toppled to the ground with his little rat, the tape ensnaring the two. The cockatiels proceeded to lose their shit.

Squawking frantically and flying around the room in a frenzy, many of them landed on Kobey. The black-haired boy panicked and even though he was snuggly entangled in tape, he managed to free himself enough to get to his feet and make a mad dash to the bathroom.

Thankfully the birds did not follow him as he locked himself in the small restroom. He was panting heavily and still holding Pinky's cage tightly in his hands.

"What...what just happened?" Kobey breathed in shock as he sunk to the ground, trying to collect his thoughts.

"Buddha, how exactly am I supposed to keep a calm and clear mind in this situation?" He wondered aloud.

* * *

><p>Downstairs, Japan and America were sitting around the breakfast table, Japan enjoying a cup of tea and America enjoying a Coke.<p>

"Did you hear something?" Japan remarked.

"Probably just the wind pr something." America shrugged. "Anyway, it's past seven o' clock. Let's make some breakfast. I'm starved!"

Japan chuckled and took one last sip of his tea before rising out of his chair and to the fridge. He was expecting to see the usual: eggs, cheese, sausage, salmon, and ever the old Whoppers that were usually in the kitchen fridge.

Instead he found heap upon heap of leafy greens and brightly colored fruits. He gawked at the fridge. "...Well, this is interesting."

"What is?" America asked, rising from his chair and looking into the fridge. His face turned white. "NO! SOMEONE STOLE OUT FOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SHIT!"

"Alfred! Please calm down," Japan urged. "It's not all that bad. You were planning on going on a diet anyway."

"DIETS ARE FOR LOSERS!" America whined.

Japan was about to respond when a loud banging sound came from inside one of the cabinets. The couple looked questioningly at each other and America slowly approached it intent to investigate.

"It's coming from where we keep the pots," America noted. "Maybe something fell over?"

Japan shrugged. "Maybe..." The two had expect some iron skillet to fall out of the cabinet when America opened it.

What they did not expect were fluffy bunnies to come tumbling out.

America's eyes began to water. "BUNNIES!" he cheered, picking one up and snuggling it. "Aww! They are so cute!"

Japan reeled back in astonishment. "Where did all these rabbits come from?!"

"I dunno! But look at them! They're so FLUFFY!"

"...I guess they are kinda cute." Japan smirked, he shook his head violently in an attempt to be the mature one. "B-But we can't leave them in the kitchen! We have to get them outside."

The bunnies didn't stay around America for very long though. The open fridge filled with delicious bunny-goodness was wide open and practically calling out to them. And they did not ignore the call.

The horde of rabbits quickly hopped up into the fridge and happily nestled themselves amongst the fruits and veggies.

"ACK!" Japan yelped. "They're all in the food now!"

"WOOHOO!" America cheered. "Now I don't have to eat all that junk! I'll just head over to McDonald's and pick us up some Egg McMuffins!"

America promptly headed out the door as Japan glared at the bunnies in his fridge. "Looks like I'll have a long day ahead of me," he sighed.

Outside, Rebeka and Lexi were rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically.

"Holy crap!" Rebeka choked out between giggles. "Did you see Kobey's FACE?! That was totally priceless!"

"Haha! Totally! And seriously, how did you get all those rabbits to fit into the cabinet?"

"I have my ways." Rebeka smiled cryptically. "Now, for my next prank, I'll need a razor, pink hair-dye, and all the girls' clothes we can find!"

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Hey guys. Yeah I'm back to normal now that I have another chapter up. Hopefully I'll have the drive to finish this fic off. ...Oh, the less than three chapters left thing? Yeah, I wasn't joking, might even be just two chapters left. This is the last Hetalia Kids story arc I'll be doing. It's not the end yet, so no tearful goodbye speeches...yet. But this story is soon drawing to a close.

Onilee: Pfft. Well, FINALLY.

Me: Oh that reminds me... *punches Onilee* THAT'S FOR YELLING AT ME WHEN I COULDN'T EVEN MOVE! Anyway: VampireChick2010. I owe you a PM...that I should've replied to ages ago. I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU! Guys, I'd like to thank you for your continued support from the bottom of my heart. And don't worry about this fic coming to a close altogether. Me and my editor have been talking a few things over...but you won't find out what those things are until the last chapter.

Onilee: Wait...you don't mean...YOU SWORE TO THEM YOU WOULDN'T PUT THEM THROUGH THAT.

Me: *smirks evilly* I may have lied...who knows. It all depends on what the readers want...Thanks again guys! And if you wanna help keep my MEPS at bay: FAVORITE, FOLLOW, and REVIEW~!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N

Me: A CHAPTER IN LESS THAN MONTH. WHAT IS THIS?!

Onilee: It's the fucking apocalypse! EVERYONE TO THE SHELTERS! FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IS ACOMING!

Me: *grabs Onilee by the scruff of her neck and sits her next to me* No more apocalypse scares! You promised your doctor...and the Federal government.

Onilee: When have I ever given a shit what the doctors or the cops told me?

Me:...Good point. Well then guys! LET'S GET ON WITH THE PRANKING!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 19<strong>

"Everything is present and accounted for, Rebeka!" the eager young assistant beamed, slinging the large backpack over her back.

"Okay, let's do this. And be VERY quiet, okay?" Lexi nodded and zipped her lips as the two began to ascend the large oak tree outside Leon's room. They quietly slid the window open and slinked into his room, tiptoeing over to the dresser. Leon was snoring loudly but peacefully in his bed, blissfully unaware of the two girls that had broken into his room and were currently rummaging through his clothes.

"Hey, Lexi," Rebeka whispered. "You think he wears boxers or briefs? My money's on briefs."

"I say boxer-briefs," Lexi murmured decisively.

Rebeka nodded in acknowledgement and opened the bottom dresser drawer, revealing neat little piles of differently colored boxer-briefs. "How did you...?"

"I didn't ask for a talent like this!" Lexi blushed furiously.

"I guess it must be part of being Italian," Rebeka teased. Lexi glared disapprovingly at her, and opened her mouth to defend herself but was silenced by the sound of Leon turning over in his bed.

"Let's just hurry this up," she hastily muttered and began pulling out Leon's shirts and pants, replacing them with the more feminine alternatives.

Rebeka quickly shoved the bras into his underwear drawer and stood up. "I'm going to take care of France and England…meet you outside in twenty." She grabbed a small squeeze bottle out of her pack, another bottle of shaving cream and a razor. After she was properly equipped, she disappeared down the hall.

Lexi took her time making sure everything was arranged neatly before making her way out the window and down the tree again. Rebeka returned a few minutes later, the bottle still her her hand, though it appeared that whatever was in the container had been squeezed out."

"What did you do exactly?"

"Oh, you'll see in the morning."

* * *

><p>The next morning, England awoke bright and early as usual. He liked getting up before everyone else so that he could enjoy a nice, hot shower and a cup of tea in silence and peace before the daily chaos commenced. England rubbed his eyes and walked groggily into his bathroom, getting the hot water running until the temperature was just to his likening. Once it was perfect, he slipped into the shower enjoying the feel of the water droplets against his skin.<p>

He them grabbed his bottle of shampoo, pouring a generous amount onto his hands and lathering it into his hair. Once he was satisfied, his rinsed the soapy suds out. Only then did he realize that something was wrong. The suds that were oozing down the drain were not their usual white, but a bubblegum pink color, the same tone as his pet unicorn's fur.

Not wasting any time, he shut off the water, wrapped a towel around himself and rushed to the bathroom mirror. He wiped the fog off the expanse of glass until he could see the horror staring back at him clearly: His hair had been dyed a bright pink.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO MY HAIR?!" he boomed, rapidly running his fingers through the once-blonde mop in complete disbelief.

Francis was jolted awake by England's shouts. "Arthur?! Is everything alright?!" Not bothering to knock, he barged into the bathroom and nearly keeled over at the bizarre sight of England's cotton-candied cranium. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!" He demanded.

England whipped around to glare at France. "Me?! I did no-." The words died on his lips, and his eyes began to bulge out of his head.

"What?" France asked. "Is there something on my face?"

"Uh...ummm...no," England choked out. "In fact...there's absolutely nothing on your face."

"Okay...?" France responded, completely lost as to what England was insinuating.

"Francis...look in the mirror for a moment." England stepped to the side so France could look at himself. Francis became white as a fresh fallen snow.

"MON DIEU! MY MANLY STUBBLE IS GONE!" He shrieked, rubbing the area of his chin where it should be. "It's all gone! CENTURIES' WORTH OF CAREFUL FACIAL GROOMING RUINED!"

The bathroom door burst open again. "Guys?! What's going on? I heard screams!" He paused for a moment to take in the fact that one of his fathers had pink hair and the other had been shaved clean. "...BWAHAHAHAHA!"

"It's not funny Leon!" England scolded, just before getting a good look at his son's choice of garments. "...Wait a bloody minute. WHY IN THE NAME OF QUEEN ELIZABETH THE SECOND ARE YOU WEARING A SKIRT?!"

Leon looked down to examine himself. He wore a lavender skirt with daisy designs at the bottom and a neon aqua tank top. He shrugged. "Someone replaced all my clothes with girl's clothes. I refuse to let that get in the way of my day! Plus the skirt is actually very comfortable!" He spun around to show off the skirt's twirling action.

"Leon, that's not a good id-." He squinted his eyes at his son's chest. "Is that a BRA?!"

"Hey, if I'm going to do this thing, I'm going to do it right. I was given bras. I'm going to use them."

England opened his mouth to say something but huffed and closed it again, throwing his arms up in surrender. "That's it. I give up. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea."

* * *

><p>"...Wow. Did not expect Leon to take that so well," Rebeka mused as she spied on the family moment that was enfolding inside the house.<p>

"He even put on the bra..." Lexi added in disbelief.

"We'll, it's not like he had any shame in the first place," Rebeka pointed out, a devilish smirk curling around her face. "Now, next we're hitting your house..."

* * *

><p>AN

Me: Yes. I'm aware that that was RIDICULOUSLY SHORT. Like...not even funny how short that was. But, I was kinda on a time crunch to put this out before tomorrow because...well if you guys were expecting more updates in June...tough cookies. My editor is taking off for Greece and Italy for a full month.

Onilee: And don't you even suggest to she her shit unedited...holy fucking hell. She had to stop be before I gouged my eyes out with a fork.

Me:...Pleasant. So, SORRY GUYS! I will continue to write throughout the month of June, so this fic can wrap up before the end of July. Also, I'd like to thank everyone who's followed, favorited and reviewed the last chapter...or anyone who's stuck with me this long. Also, VAMPCHICK2010 I STILL OWE YOU A PM. I WILL GET IT TO YOU. I SWEAR.

Onilee: No you won't.

Me: *aims handgun at Onilee's face* Shut. Your. Face. UNTIL JULY GUYS~!

Onilee: Or August...

Me: *shoots bullet that whizzes past Onilee's head* Next time...I won't miss.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N

Me: *currently in denial* SEE? I told you I'd get it up by July! I TOLD YOU!

Onilee: ...You'll have to excuse her, she's in her own world now.

Me: Not only that, but the next chapter is the last and will be up by next week! See?! IT'S ALREADY DONE! *holds up laptop with blank word document* And I finally have a boyfriend! One who is loving and supportive and is taking me to ComicCon next year! I also finally finished my novel and got the lead in my school play!

Onilee:...Oh bullshit. Readers, she hasn't got the next chapter done (Clearly), she has no boyfriend, she's not going to ComicCon, she hasn't looked at her novel in months, and her role in the play is decent at best. But, she was right when she said that the next chapter IS the last!

Me: EVERYTHING IS COMING UP ROSES! ENJOY~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids Chapter 20<strong>

"Rebeka...I don't think this is a good idea," Lexi whispered anxiously as the two tip-toed down the hallway of the Beilschmidt estate. "I don't think my parents will be really happy if they find out I had a part in this..."

"Hey, I didn't wuss out when it was my parents. I'm not letting you back out of this!" Rebeka argued, carefully opening the door to Italy and Germany's bedroom. It was one o' clock in the morning and the two were fast asleep. Italy was sprawled out on the bed, leaving Germany dangling on the edge, a position he had become accustomed to in their years together. "Whatever you do, don't get your fingers trapped while we're setting these up," Rebeka muttered, indicating the two giant boxes under her arms, rattling with each movement she made.

Lexi nodded, shaking visibly as the two entered the room. Rebeka handed the boxes to Lexi and instructed her to start setting them up while she tampered with the alarm clock. Lexi got on her knees and struggled with the tiny contraptions. She tried to wrok as fast as possible, wanting desperately to leave the room. Yet, she couldn't steady her shaking fingers or stop herself from jumping every time her parents rolled over, snored, or even breathed loudly.

After Rebeka was done rigging the clock with an airhorn, she looked over to check Lexi's progress and promptly rolled her eyes: The panicked girl hadn't even set up ten of the things. She quickly got down next to her and rapidly laid the extermination devices all around the bed. Not even ten minutes had passed before a sea of them had grown, the only island of refuge being the bed. Once Rebeka was satisfied with her work, she grabbed Lexi by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

"Ohgodohgodohgod!" Lexi murmured. "They'll know I did it! They'll definitely know!"

"No they won't! Just relax. They know you're not capable of doing something as ingenious is that! They'll probably blame Viktor."

"That's even worse!" Lexi wailed.

Rebeka halted, turned around and looked Lexi square in the eyes. "Oh, sweet Maria Theresa, calm down! It's a harmless prank. If they do start pointing fingers...I'll take the fall."

"R-Really?"

"Yes, really!" Rebeka hastily lied. "Now, I thought it would be a good time to check on Viktor's prank..." She lead Lexi into Viktor's bathroom and gestured to a small camcorder from a shelf, facing the wall next to the shower.

"You put a camera in my brother's bathroom?" Lexi blushed. "Rebeka that's dirty!"

"Relax…I positioned it so you won't see anything," Rebeka stated. "I was just curious as to what kind of songs Viktor sings in the shower..."

* * *

><p><strong>*FHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*<strong>

"AIIIE!" Italy leapt out of bed, the noise of the airhorn piercing serenity of the room. He tried to retreat from the horrible noise, but in his haste he slipped on one of the mousetraps and landed face first into the pile of them. Within an instant, each one that he touched popped to life and began clinging to any surface within reach, which just happened to be the poor Italian on the floor. All this had happened so fast that Italy barely had a second to wrap his mind around what on earth was happening.

As a result, he entered a characteristic full-blown panic mode. "LUDWIG! LUDWIG! HELP ME!"

Germany, who had also been roused by the new alarm they had mysteriously obtained, rushed into action. He ripped the airhorn from the alarm clock, silencing its continuous bleat and swung his feet over the bed to take care of Italy. As soon as he did so, two rather large mousetraps were triggered, and they immediately clamped down onto his toes. Germany only flinched at the pain.

"What in the-?!"

"AH! ONE'S IN MY CURL! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" Italy shrieked, now writhing on the floor, which only succeeded in getting himself entangled further in the mess.

Germany, keeping his wits about him as usual, swiftly removed the mousetraps from his feet and climbed back on the bed. He leaned over the Italian's bedside and quickly pulled him back up as well.

Italy clung to Germany, shaking. "G-Get the one off the curl!" he blubbered as Germany began gingerly pulling off the rodent execution equipment.

"H-How are you so calm about this?" Italy questioned, turning red as Germany finally removed the one attached to his precious curl.

"I've been in worse situations than this." Germany answered. "I think the better question would be who the hell did this!"

"I have no idea!" Italy exclaimed. "It can't be the kids, they have no-!"

Before Italy could finish his sentence, they heard shouts coming from Viktor's room. "AHHHHH! WHO THE HELL FILMED THIS?!"

Germany scooped Italy off the bed and maneuvered around the sea of traps on the floor. Once they were safe, he put Italy down and the two rushed into Viktor's room to find Lexi already there. The two were staring in horror at Viktor's computer screen.

_"~So she dances_

_In and out of the crowd like a glance_

_This romance is_

_From afar calling me silently~"_

"Ah! You sing so beautifully, bambino!" Italy chimed, completely forgetting the most recent ordeal and getting a closer look at the video. Germany just stared incredulously at Viktor.

"...You sing Josh Groban in the shower?" Lexi asked Viktor, who was proceeding to bang his head repeatedly against his desk.

"No. One. Was. Supposed. To. Know!" Viktor lamented, finally letting his head rest. "When I find the person who did this, I am sending them to a special place in hell..."

Lexi shuddered.

* * *

><p>"I'm not sure I want to do this anymore!" Lexi complained as she met Rebeka at her house later that day. "I mean, making Leon wear girls' clothes was fun and all, but Viktor is really mad!"<p>

"Oh, c'mon, Lexi! We just have one more prank to pull! And we don't even have to do any work this time!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Rebeka giggled, her noteworthy grin weaving its way across her face. "I called in a favor from an old friend. Here, let me show you."

Rebeka lead Lexi into the piano room, where Zoltan was getting sucked into one of Beethoven's symphonies. Rebeka motioned for Lexi to keep quiet and pointed at the window. Lexi had to cover her mouth to keep from yelping.

There, looming in the window, was Russia. A creepy smile to rival Rebeka's adorned his face. He was staring straight into the room, unmoving; it didn't even seem as though he were breathing. In spite of the day's golden warmth from the sun, a light frost dusted the window.

Before Lexi could lose her cool, Rebeka pulled her out.

"H-Have you completely lost your mind?!" Lexi choked. "You got RUSSIA to STALK Zoltan?!"

"Oh please…my mom wouldn't let him do anything to harm her kids. Plus, it's only for a day, he promised not to do anything but follow and stare, and I paid him off!"

"I still think this is crossing a line!" Lexi cried. "I mean...we went from putting nacho cheese in a piano to hiring a stalker!"

"C'mon! Just watch Zoltan's reaction!" Rebeka squealed, peering back into the room. Lexi reluctantly followed suit and looked in. Zoltan had finally taken notice of Russia's presence and found himself frozen to the spot. Russia seemed motionless, not even visibly breathing as he stared down Zoltan. If anyone else had given this look, it would have seemed friendly. With Russia, it felt as though one were face-to-face with the world's most amiable tormentor.

A few more moments passed before Zoltan gathered his courage and made a bolt for the door. Rebeka and Lexi stepped out of the way as Zoltan ran down the corridor, too shocked to even scream.

"Poor thing," Rebeka tutted rather unsympathetically. "Russia will be on his tail all day." She allowed herself to snicker.

"Please tell me this is the last one!" Lexi implored.

"Lexi, I give you my word! No more pranks!" Rebeka emphatically proclaimed, raising her right hand up. Unbeknownst to Lexi, however, she had already slipped her left hand behind her back and crossed two fingers.

* * *

><p>AN

Onilee: Okay, you out of denial yet?

Me: *rocking back and forth in the corner, eyes twitching* I'm getting my blood drawn next week (Has a severe phobia of needles), I have a Physics test tomorrow, Hannibal is ruining my psyche, I'm exhausted because I haven't gotten a good night's rest in forever, and THIS FIC IS ENDING! *sobs* Let me go back to my happy place! I wasn't single and lonely there!

Onilee: Sorry, this is for your own good.

Me: ...Well, at least on the bright side, I broke 100 reviews last chapter. Hell, I broke 110. And this was a shit fanfic to begin with! I just got out of middle school when I started this! I cry when I read the first five chapters! And I STILL got 113 reviews! You know what, screw life. I'M PROUD OF MYSELF.

Onilee: See, reality isn't that bad! Now, let's get working on that Physics studying!

Me: *headdesk* ...Until next time guys~!


	21. THE FINAL CHAPTER

A/N

Me: ...WHAT IS THIS?!

Onilee: This is the last chapter.

Me: WHERE DID IT COME FROM?!

Onilee: ...You freaking wrote it, like a few nights ago.

Me: I DID?! ...Oh my God...I finished a chapter in less than a week...IT IS POSSIBLE! I FINALLY DID IT...and at the end of this fic...*hangs head* I-I'm going to miss you my beloved children...ENJOY MY READERS~!

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Kids The Final Chapter<strong>

It was midday—siesta time. Lexi had carved herself a nice groove in the couch for her daily nap. Light peered in through the living room windows, creating an Arcadian blot of sun on the comfortable cushions. Lexi lay on her back, a fuzzy blanket underneath her, while Patches curled up at her owner's feet. The only sounds in the house were Patches's contented purring and Viktor's screaming at the YouTube commenters about how he didn't want to be the next Justin Beiber.

Lexi sighed happily, the weight of Rebeka's grand scheme finally lifted from her chest. The only thing on her mind now was her earlier pact with her cousin about a painting session in the garden, one she believed to be well earned.

She became so sucked up in her daydreams about lilies and edelweiss that she did not notice the draught wafting through the room from a newly opened window. Nor did she notice Rebeka climbing silently through said window with a water bazooka-not a water gun, but a water bazooka-slung over her shoulder.

Rebeka stealthily tip-toed her way behind the couch, surprised that even the cat was too lethargic to notice her presence. _This is why we have a dog,_ she thought as she eyed the blanket underneath Lexi. Everything seemed to fall together nicely for the young prankster.

_One...two...three!_ Rebeka quickly pulled the end of the blanket up and over

Lexi's body, wrapping her in a fluffy maroon cocoon. Lexi's eyes flew open but before she could shout out any kind of protest, Rebeka had aimed and fired.

A torrent of water came crashing down upon Lexi, leaving no portion of her dry. Patches, who had caught some of the splash, panicked and fled the room, her wet paws skidding across the hardwood.

Rebeka, knowing that the bazooka had made a hell of a noise and had probably already alerted the household, made a bolt for the open window. Before she jumped through the sill, she paused and turned over her shoulder to look at Lexi. "...Sorry, but it wouldn't be fair to everyone else if I didn't prank you too." She smiled remorsefully one last time before diving through her portal to freedom, somersaulting herself upright and escaping into the woods in the backyard.

Viktor came bursting into the living room. "Lexi! I heard a noise! What happened?"

Lexi was still too shocked to speak, only feebly attempted to free herself of the dripping blanket, which stubbornly stuck to her skin. Viktor leapt into action and peeled it off of Lexi, helping her up off the couch.

"Why are you all wet?"

Lexi suddenly burst into tears and attached herself firmly to Viktor's leg. "...R-Rebeka...she lied to me!"

Viktor, a little surprised Lexi had clung to his leg, gently tried to pry her off. "Rebeka lied to you about what?"

Lexi only clutched him tighter, tears and snot pouring down her face. "She...had this master plan to prank everyone while she could still get away it! All the weird stuff that's been happening to everyone...it was her idea!"

Viktor halted his attempts to wrench his leg free, realizing the weight of Lexi's words. "You mean she's the reason that video of me singing has gone viral?!"

"Sh-she promised she'd paint with me if I helped her out," Lexi replied miserably, her guilty conscious finally forcing the words of her. "I didn't mean for it to go this far! I thought it would just be a few harmless jokes!"

"Lexi..." Viktor could not fathom how his sweet little sister could take part in all of this.

"I'm sorry! I'm sososo sorry!" she wailed.

Viktor's carefully sat down on the couch, dragging Lexi with him. He patted her head gingerly, slowly lulling Lexi as he had done a million times before. "I forgive you. You don't have to feel bad...everyone makes mistakes. We'll make this right."

"R-Really?" She sniffed, loosening her grip on Viktor's leg.

"Of course!" He smiled and pulled his leg free. He wrapped his arms around Lexi, letting her calm down further. "You know what they say...don't get mad, get even."

"What does that mean?" Lexi questioned curiously.

"It means...I have to make a few phone calls." Viktor responded. He laughed maniacally, an evil grin twisting it's way across his lips. It vaguely reminded Lexi of every Disney villain ever. She shrugged and joined in, curious as to what her brother had planned.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you don't have any hard feelings about that prank, Lexi." Rebeka said as she toted a large, already painted, canvas through the halls of her house. "And if it means anything, I did have fun painting the garden with you!"<p>

"I'm glad!" Lexi smiled, "Your flowers are so pretty...I could've painted them forever."

"Well, a few hours is good enough for me," Rebeka admitted as she placed the

canvas by her bedside. "So, see you tomorrow?"

"Of course!" Lexi beamed as she turned towards the door. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Rebeka called as she took a few steps back and made a running jump for her bed. As soon as she landed, she sank faced down deeply into it. Actually, was her mattress always this low...and wet? In fact, why were the sheets all wet? Where was all this water coming from?

Rebeka squawked, trying to stand but only sinking deeper into her bed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MATTERESS?! WHY IS IT A POOL?!" If she had been a little calmer, she would have been impressed. Her bed had been completely gutted, an inflatable pool inserted into the bed frame and filled with water, the sheets made over the pool, carefully hiding the contents underneath. Truly the work of a trickster god.

At that moment Lexi came running back in, followed by Viktor, Zoltan, Leon, and Kobey. All of them were laughing hysterically. Kobey was even carrying a video camera.

"Finally!" Zoltan squealed with delight. "You finally got what's coming to you after all these years! Send me a copy of that tape later, Kobey. I'm going to hold this against her for the rest of her life!"

"Oh, everyone's getting copies of this!" Kobey snickered.

Rebeka glared furiously at the group, pondering her next move. She thought that words would do her no good in this situation, nor would crying, or storming out like she was actually affected by all this. Instead, she scooped some of the water from under her into her palms and splashed it at the nearest target, which happened to be her twin.

"Oh, you're so gonna get it!" Zoltan shouted, jumping into the "bed" and kicking water at Rebeka.

"Hey! Zoltan, you splashed me!" Lexi cried.

"Don't worry, Lexi! I'll get him back for you!' Leon chimed.

"If anyone's going to get him back, it'll be me!" Viktor challenged. The both of them dove in, duel attacking Zoltan.

Rebeka joined in, "HA! I've got you now!"

Zoltan was entirely outnumbered, he was about to give him when backup arrived.

_**SSSHPOMF**_

Lexi and Kobey had found a bucket leftover from when they were filling the pool and used it to drench Zoltan's adversaries.

That is when the real battle begun. The children tore at the sheets and flung them off the bed to get to the reservoir underneath. By the end of fifteen minutes, the water from the pool had emptied and was either being soaked up by the carpet, damaging the walls, or dripping off someone.

Everyone was soaked, out of breath, and laughing as hard as they could. Even

Rebeka had at some point been reduced to a puddle of fits and giggles.

For once, a meeting between all of them, ended in something other than a fist-fight.

* * *

><p><strong>SUPER IMPORTANT ALL MUST READ! <strong>

Me: Guys, this isn't an author's note...entirely. It's mainly an important message.

Yes, it's a terrible shame but this fic has finally ended...or has it?

You see, when I first came up with this story many a year ago, I originally had a plot. YES AN ACTUAL PLOT! With drama, sadness, dark themes, torture, possible character death, and a war!

But...I needed to actually introduce the characters before I did anything with it. *nervous laugh* Hence...this insanity.

I was planning on just scrapping the original idea, but my editor REFUSED to let me. She really liked the idea way too much, she actually threatened she wouldn't edit for me anymore if I let this go without at least trying.

Onilee: But I told her, that she couldn't force a story like that out there if her readers DIDN'T WANT IT. She'd turn into that awkward guy at dance parties who thinks he can breakdance, then does it in front of a whole crowd and fails miserably. Nobody wants to see it and it was better left unseen.

Me: So basically the question is, **WHO WANTS A SEQUEL WITH A PLOT?! **If nobody wants it, I will gracefully step aside and let you all go about your daily lives (My editor will understand if you guys decline). If you guys want it, then I shall get to work on it as soon as I can!

Onilee: And FYI, the first chapter is the children asking their parents what war was like!

Me: ONILEE STOP SPOILING THINGS! Anybody who wants a sequel MUST LET ME KNOW! Review me, PM me, even favorite me as an author so you'll know when it goes up if it ever does!

*Ahem* Now for the "End of First Fic Speech". I have to say, I feel so unbelievably blessed by you guys. This was my first fic and to get this much positive feedback has been really encouraging. Beyond encouraging, you guys have made me feel successful as a writer. You've made me realize that even if I only get one person to like it...then I've accomplished something great. Whenever I feel down, I literally just scroll through your reviews and it makes me feel...important. I know that's kinda egotistical, but it's true! Even though this fanfic has ended, there's still a million other stories floating about in my cranium, and I'm sure you'll all hear about them someday. I hope you all continue to follow me in my other works, and even if this is truly goodbye for certain readers, let me just say it's been one hell of a ride and I hope you find better fanfics to make you smile on your down days.

*hugs Onilee*

_UNTIL NEXT TIME~! _

_-Pheonixette101_


	22. SEQUEL IS COMING

Oh sweet buttery baby Jesus Christ this is WAY overdue…

Well, hey guys! It's been about…SEVERAL MONTHS since I promised you that sequel. So I have some good news and some bad news.

Bad news, the sequel will not be written…by me. Yeah, I sort of fell out of the Hetalia fandom a while ago, so I don't think I'd be able to give you guys the proper sequel that I was planning.

The good news is that my long-time editor and grammar-nazi, AkiraWolfWriter888, has decided that if I'm not going to write the sequel, then she will.

Even better news? She promises that the first chapter will be up by July 30th! So if you don't get your chapter, you can complain to her directly.

Couple of things before I officially hand you guys over to her, her writing is SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE, and my writing has improved (at least I'd like to think that) since I wrote the first chapter of Hetalia Kids. She writes very differently than me, and she's a lot more mature than I am. Which I do feel fits the tone of the sequel pretty well, but she may throw in a few really big words that may require a Google search. Please give her a chance, but also don't be afraid to give her some constructive criticism, she'd probably appreciate that more than blind praise.

I will be overseeing the whole process, so every new chapter will have my personal stamp of approval. So you don't have to worry about her going crazy and diverging from the original material too much. She's really excited to be doing this and I'm excited as well.

So, in short…

Follow: AkiraWolfWriter888

Sequel Release Date: July 30th

I'll be reading and enjoying it with you!


End file.
